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    A Good Christian

    Thursday, January 13, 2011, 12:24 AM [General]

    I've joined some discussionlists on Christianity to get my questions answered. And I wish for no one to take offence of my writings now!

    The picture I've gotten from this discussions is Not Good. A "Good Chirstian" is, according to it, a person who sits and without questioning reads the Bible, believes everything it says and waits for salvation.

    Well, personally, I believe we were given brains for a reason. So that we could question all things, _including_ the Bible and other holy texts. And when it comes to salvation, well, I do believe that God helps the one who helps her/himself.

    So I guess I'm not a good Christian then. What a Shocker :D

    But I'm not a good witch either. Nor pagan. I'm not anything. I just AM.

    I live for questioning, gathering knowledge. Not to please some unknown God. Even if I do believe in Her. I just suck at taking orders...

    The proudest moment in a parents or teachers life is when the child surpasses them, and shows to be independant and able to think on her/his own. I do not say humans can surpass God, but that doesn't mean one shouldn't try :D I believe that whatever reason the Creator had for creating worlds with living, _thinking_ beings, it wasn't for us to sit around looking stupied.

    Anyways, I sent some new responses to those lists, telling them about my ideas. I hope not to offend anyone, but I will speak my mind and tell things the way I see them.

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    The Lost Lamb

    Wednesday, January 12, 2011, 2:39 AM [General]

    I'm lost.

    How to go on from that statement?

    As a short history, I was born a Lutheran. In my early teens my interest in religion deepened - already before that Religion was my favorite subject in school. I was an almost fanatic Christian in my early teens, with many prayers to God and thinking homosexuality is a grave sin.

    Now, I'm an out and proud lesbian, in a committed relationship. It hasn't always been this way though.

    Well, anyways, when I was about 16-17, I felt very disappointed in the Christian God, and started to look around for others - which wasn't easy, in a time pre-internet, or at least internet wasn't that common yet then. Not as it is now.

    In my twenties I finally signed out from church, calling myself a Pagan. I still hadn't found my way though.

    I've been through many "phases". Calling myself a Chirstian, a Pagan, a Witch, A Wiccan... And all kinds of versions of those.

    In the fall 2010 I started to study comparative religions at the Åbo Akademy University. The problem was, I live in Helsinki, not Åbo. And I really didn't like to move. So I stopped my studies before they really begun, and now in the spring I will apply to study in the Helsinki University.

    First, I thought to apply only to study comparative religions. Then, I thought about theology. Sounded like a real bore, as I've been at odds with Chirstianity for so many years. But, it is easier to get in, they take more applicants... So I got the books and started reading...

    ...and it changed my view completely! Or not completely, but some.

    Chirstianity isn't THAT bad. It's really interesting, and has a lot of good points.

    But then it is the issue about womens rights and homosexuality. I've tried to read the Bible, but I just end up getting mad.

    Anyways, I found myself LIKING Christianity. I just don't like the Church and it's doctrines nor the Bible. We live in different times now, those really need an update!

    But I've been thinking about rejoining the chruch anyways.. But I don't know. It's so complicated! I really feel annoyed about the Churches policy and their intolerance against other religions, and against homosexuality.

    And WOMENS RIGHTS. Women are treated as DIRT in the Bible!! That, if anything, makes me SO MAD.

    How CAN I, as a woman, join a church, who's holy book says women are less worth than men, that women are beneath man, and should serve man????

    I feel lost.

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    Oh my Goodness!

    Friday, May 21, 2010, 2:36 AM [General]

    I used to worry about being Good. A Good Girl. Now, I worry about being too good. I've come to realize, that being really Good, is Bad. It let's people walk all over you. As in all things in life, I've come to believe in Balance. Balance is my Way now.

    To be at peace with oneself, to not suffer, is to be able to say "you can't treat me like this" to others. It's to be able to say STOP! By definition, really GOOD people don't do that, they just turn the other cheek and suffer.

    You have to be able to stand up for yourself and for what you believe in. Only then can you be at peace with yourself. That is what I believe.

    And then it's the whole thing about being kind and considerate. I have this "friend". She really annoys me at times! She's SO clingy! I'm like the best thing that has happened to her, and she practically worships me. It's AWFUL. I try to be kind to her, but sometimes, I have to think of myself. And then I just don't answer when she says something to me, in chat. I'm also often short to her. Does this make me a BAD person? Maybe. But, as things go, I'm also the one who DO listen, and DO take time of my life to be with her. Not always, not at her command, but at times. Doesn't that make me GOOD?

    I have tried to tell her, that I need my own space. That too clingy, is scaring people away from her. But she doesn't seem to listen. So sometimes, I ignore her. And don't even feel that bad about it. I mean, I have to think of myself too, and I don't exist to be with her every single moment! It all comes back to balance. Being kind and considerate is all good, but too much of good leads to suffering. I would suffer if I didn't ignore her at times and take time to myself.

    I used to try to please everyone. That led to bad relationships, to suffering, heartache and tears. I'm done doing that. If people can't handle me as I am, then they'd better get away from me and my life.

    I also used to keep contact with people who constantly made me feel anxious. I kept them in my life, because I felt obliged to. As a Good Girl, I had to keep them in my life. Well, I started thinking about myself, about my wants and needs. And I simply cut them out of my life. And instantly started to feel better.

    I might not be a Good Girl anymore, who takes time to listen to everybody and is always kind and considerate, but I do feel better about myself these days. I've started to come in Balance with myself. I'm not an Evil person, but I'm not Good either.

    Wiccans do follow the rede (as I understand it). "As you harm none, do as you will". I don't follow the rede. Does that mean I walk around wishing the Evil Eye on people? Of course not! Just as it is with Good, it is with Evil. Balance in everything. If someone hurts me, I kick and bite and scream, and I'm not unfamiliar with the thought of using curses - mind you, I've never used one. But if someone hurt me real bad, I would see it as Justice to hurt them back. "An Eye for an Eye, would make the whole world blind" is another saying. And it's true, and it's important not to get carried away by revenge. The keyword again is Balance. And learning how to stop.

    Justice is another thing, besides Balance, that I feel strongly about. I haven't really worked out all the boundaries about how this should work, and what I believe in, it's "thoughts under construction". But I do believe that when harmed, one should not just take it quietly. There is such a thing as justified revenge. But the thing is to know how not to take revenge to far. The punishment should be fair, and knowing what is fair, well, therein lies the problem.

    Balance is the keyword to everything. I ain't in perfect Balance. i have a way to go. But I'm getting there. Still there is this instinct that tells me that I should be kind and Good and put everybody else before me. But I'm growing stronger. I'm starting to take place, to feel that I have the right to be ME.

    The Goddess grows stronger in me. And as I learn to embrace Her, I learn to embrace myself.

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    Does the Devil walk among us?

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010, 3:58 AM [General]

    This question was asked at a yahoo group. Caught my interest.

    Personally, I don't believe in the devil. But I do believe in good and evil forces. And I do believe in the power of the mind. If you believe something to be true, really believe it, it becomes true. So if you really believe in the devil, he becomes a real entity.

    Not only the devil works this way, but all Gods and Goddesses. Personally, I feel strongly drawn to Athena and what She represents - wisdom and justice. So She exists, because I believe in Her.

    The Gods and Godessess might be all powerful, but only because we believe they are. WE give them their power.

    I believe in this universal force, that is both good and evil. This force is in everything and everybody. It can manifest thanks to our beliefs. It manifests itself as Goddesses and Gods.

    So, does the Devil exist. Yes, if you believe in Him. I don't, but I know that many do, so you could say the Devil do walk among us. He has power, if we give him power. I chose not to. I chose not to believe in the Devil. This way, he has no power of me.

    Personally, I believe there are good and evil forces in the Universe, and that without one the other can't exist. In this world though, the Balance is thrown off, and Evil has gotten too much power. Love need to be reinforced. Only then can we get a world worth living in. We need to stop giving poweer to the Devil and other evil forces.

    Oh and btw, thank you Birk for your comment to my last post :)

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    Monday, April 19, 2010, 5:40 AM [General]

    I just registered here at Beliefnet. I'm a 29 years old woman from Finland. My english ain't the best :P

    I'm wiccan. I spend a long time wondering, what I am, calling myself different things, but now my road seams to settle before me, and it is the wiccan way. I've called myself a witch for much longer time than i've called myself wiccan. I wasn't sure if I follow the Rede. But now, i think I do. So I am a Wiccan Witch. Hello to you all!

    I have friends from different faiths. There is my best friend, who's a Buddhist. A good friend is a Lutheran Priest, and an other good friend is an ex-mormon who still has issues with her faith. And then there are the atheists, and of course my dear lil' brother, the anti-theist.

    I don't know many wiccans or pagans, so I'm pretty much a solitare. I'd like to know more though. I have one friend, who's wiccan, but she lives in a different city. And another friend, who is.. I don't know what she is, but she believes in fairies.

    Some of my friends just roll their eyes when I start talking about religions and beliefs, but some, like me, love it. We've had some very interesting discussions with my Lutheran Priest-friend for example. Let's call her Dominicanus. Last time we had a discussion, it was about salvation. I don't believe I need it, but she of course does.

    She's so sweet, thinks she'll still meet me in heaven. I need to come to my senses first, of course, but she has faith that I will. She just doesn't see, that first of all, I don't believe in heaven. Second, if I'm wrong, and there is a heaven, it really would be hell for me.

    I believe in the importance of Balance. Balance between Good and Evil.  There has to be some evil in the world, for good to exist. Without evil, good goes overboard, and becomes evil. Too much of the good and all that. It's the same thing with evil - for it to exist there must be some good in the world.

    Heaven, as the Chiristians describe it, is this Good place, were no Evil exist. Thereby I believe it to be Hell. But, since I believe in being reborn, and not in heaven or hell, I don't have to worry.

    Salvation is not my goal in life. I mean, salvation from WHAT? I believe in Enlightment, and that is what I strive for. As I don't believe in heaven or hell, I don't need to be salvated so that I get to go to heaven. I believe, that all souls, when they die, first join the eternal Love, and when they are ready, they are reborn. They are reborn into a life that will teach them what they don't know.

    Dominicanus asked me, Why? Wouldn't it be terrible, she said. To always be reborn, without end. Well, I do believe in an end. When a soul reaches Enlightment, it can move forward. It can chose to become a sort of guardian angel for others. And after that, it can join the Eternal Love.

    Personally, I feel like joining the Eternal Love would be quite awful, but then I ain't Enlightened. I feel I would be quite bored. I want to be ALIVE, and i want things to HAPPEN. Status Quo is good for a while, but after time, it's just stagnation.

    I'm at work right now. I work as a personal assistant. It's a job I like very much. I usually work the night shift, but today I'm working the morning shift. As a personal assistant, I have some "down-time" when the woman I work for doesn't need any held. Then I can read, be on the PC - like now, or watch TV.

    I read earlier this morning, but got tired and chose to surf the Net a little. I'm reading to the entrance exams to the Univeristy of Helsinki. i want to study religious sciences. There are two books to the entrance exam, one of them is ok, but the second is so DRY. It's almost painful to read it. I hope I one day will publish a book, and I sure hope it won't be inspired by that one!

    Well, I guess that's on the top of my mind right now. I will return, and write some more later.

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