I wish someone would have told me what I know now. Got married in 1999 to the almost perfect guy. Attractive, charming, very considerate, intellectual, great career, you name it...but yes, in 2002, when our son was only 4 months old, he cheated. He cheated for 8 months with the same woman. As soon as I found out, I was a complete basket case. I would leave our house in the middle of the night and go sit in my car in a park and cry my eyes out, and that's just 1 example. That being said, I am the one who had us in therapy 2 days later. I wanted to work it out. He was remorseful, said the girl didn't mean anything, etc. etc. and of course, I didn't believe a word he said. We tried to work it out for 2 years. I didn't date anyone but I did find myself going out with my single friends more often just to try to regain any kind of power I could. I was young and didn't realize that pride was what made me make my decision to file for divorce. Before I filed, we went through mediation and he even said he would sign something saying that if he ever cheated again, I would get everything; house, assets, etc. I felt like he was trying to buy me so I said no. Big mistake. I wish someone would have told me to stay with him b/c we have a child, b/c we both made vows. Now it's almost 9 years later and despite all the horrible things that occurred w/in those two years and discoveries I made, I wish I would have stayed with him. I realized, of course, approximately 1 year after he remarried (which he said he would never do), I feel like I finally woke up from the nightmare. I would do anything to turn back the clock. Why? Because the only thing that helps you move on w/ someone who has done this is TIME. I was so hell-bent on, "well, he cheated on me, I tried for 2 years, I don't feel any different, I have to get out." B/c of pride, I thought that if I didn't divorce him, everyone would think I was a doormat. You know what?.....Today, I could care less what people would think of me if we were still married. I thought, ok, I'm still young, I can get remarried again and move on. I did remarry in summer 07 and by christmas, I asked him to move out. In every relationship, we will betray one another; whether it's intentional or not, some form of betrayal will be made. So here I am, 2 divorces later, writing on this site trying to maybe let someone like myself 9 years ago read and change their mind. I think about him all the time. I see him often b/c we have a son together. And another thing, don't listen to the people that tell you your kids will be fine going through a divorce, they're resilent....BS....your child(ren) will ALWAYS want their parents to get back together....my son still does. And even though I didn't cheat on him, I did contribute baggage to the marriage....it's just that I didn't have to say I was wrong in any way b/c he cheated and that was enough. People make mistakes....life goes on. Trust me, the grass is not greener. And my ex husband, father of my only child, is still the nice, attractive, charming, generous person he always has been but I labled him and thought I could never get over it. I was wrong. I have to live with this every day. I wish divorce was illegal. Of course, with the exception of those husbands who beat their wives and physically harm their family and loved ones. In the big scheme of things, an affair is only a hurdle. Don't let the deadly sin of PRIDE stop you from living a happy life.
I do regret it