Important Announcement

See here for an important message regarding the community which has become a read-only site as of October 31.

Post Reply
9 years ago  ::  Dec 03, 2008 - 3:13AM #1
Posts: 1,847

December 2, 2008
Universal Feelings
Everything is Relative

Every day we hear stories of personal suffering and loss that far
exceed our own. When we compare our situations to those of people
living in war-torn countries or those who have lost their homes and
livelihoods to natural disasters, it is tempting to minimize our own
experiences of suffering. We may feel that we don’t have a right to be
upset about the breakup of a relationship, for example, because at
least we have food to eat and a roof over our heads.

While awareness of the pain of others in the world can be a valuable
way to keep our own struggles in perspective, it is not a legitimate
reason to disregard our own pain. Disparaging your feelings as being
less important than other people's emotions leads to denial and
repression. Over time, an unwillingness to experience your own feelings
leads to numbness. It is as if our internal systems become clogged with
our unexpressed emotions. This in no way helps other people who are
suffering in the world. In fact, it may do just the opposite because
when we devalue our own sorrow, we become impervious to the sorrow in

Fully experiencing our own hurt is the gateway to compassion toward other human beings.
Feelings of loss, abandonment, loneliness, and fear are universal, and,
in that sense, all feelings are created equal. Regardless of what leads
us to feel the way we do, our comprehension of what it means to be
human is deepened by our own experiences. Our personal lives provide us
with the material we need to become fully conscious. If we reject our
emotions because we think our experiences are not dramatic or important
enough, we are missing out on our own humanity. We honor and value the
human condition when we fully inhabit our bodies so we can experience
and feel life fully. Accepting our emotions and allowing ourselves to
feel them connects us to all human beings. Then, when we hear the
stories of other people’s suffering, our hearts can resonate with
understanding and compassion—for all of us.

What do you think?
Be gentle with yourself and as Gandi said: "Be the change you want to see in others" and I add the world around you will change.
Quick Reply
9 years ago  ::  Dec 03, 2008 - 10:13PM #2
Posts: 1,210
Very true.
Love, Light and Laughter is the Universal Language, Betty
Quick Reply
9 years ago  ::  Dec 03, 2008 - 11:34PM #3
Posts: 1,847

Our gut responses are who we are and to  honor who we are we much honor them.  Makes no difference why we feel what we feel, just that we pay attention to those feelings.  I've often said and hope you do not mind hearing it again: "We do not have feelings we are our feelings."  To deny our feelings is to deny who we are.

I really like this Daily OM piece:




December 3, 2008
Gut Response
In Touch With True Emotions

So often, emotions that we long to express get stored in our bodies
instead. The space where this most often happens is in our bellies.
Rather than telling people, our even ourselves, the way we truly feel,
we may stuff our true feelings deep inside of us, where they take up
space until we are ready to let them go. Stuffing our feelings in our
bellies may feel like the "safe" response, since we then don’t really
have to deal with our emotions. Yet, doing so can actually be
detrimental to our emotional well-being and physical health.

One way to connect with and release your emotions is to do a focused
exercise with your stomach area. Take a moment to center yourself with
some deep breathing and quiet meditation, relaxing your body fully and
turning off the chatter in your brain. With your right hand on your
stomach, tell yourself three times: "Please reveal to me my true
emotions." Listen for the answers. Repeat the exercise as many times as
you would like, allowing yourself to drop deeper into your body each
time. Notice any physical response in the stomach area, whether you
have a warm, relaxed feeling in the middle of your body or if you feel
tight knots in response to any emotions that do come up. You may even
want to write down any answers that come to you. Remember that the body
doesn’t lie.

Releasing our pent up feelings from our bellies can prevent disease and
allow us to live more authentic and expressive lives. Sometimes, if too
much emotional energy builds up inside of us, a blowout can result that
can cause discomfort. You can help to alleviate this compression by
doing the same exercise and adding sound to your emotional release. The
more guttural the sounds released through your mouth, the more emotions
you are likely letting go. Releasing your emotions from your belly
doesn’t have to be painful and hard; rather, it can be organic and
effortless. It’s important not to judge whatever comes up for you. We
tend to stuff our feelings in our bellies when we are ashamed of them
or not ready to express them. There is nothing wrong with having
feelings, whatever they may be. You can’t help your feelings; if
anything, you can help yourself by acknowledging the truth of your
emotions so you can set yourself free.


Be gentle with yourself and as Gandi said: "Be the change you want to see in others" and I add the world around you will change.
Quick Reply
9 years ago  ::  Dec 11, 2008 - 7:07PM #4
Posts: 71
Thank you for taking the time to post these.   I am flat out in the dirt from an ended relationship, lost job  etc. etc and have been trying to remind myself (minimize) that there are people who are suffering much wors than I.   Thank you for helping me see why this not only feels unnatural, it ultimately is.
Quick Reply
9 years ago  ::  Dec 14, 2008 - 7:00PM #5
Posts: 1,847


Thank you for validating yourself and adopting a healthy mindset about your misfortunes. This is a trying time for  many.

It is Ok to honor your pain while recognizing things could be worse and are for many. I am so sorry about what has happened. I honor your pain.

If you are going to consider yourself flat out on the dirt, perhaps you can see yourself laying on the dirt with a beach towel underneath yourself with the sun smiling at you while you  grow roots deep into the earth from your feet to ground yourself.  Maybe you can choose a gorgeous location also to do this in. This is creative visualization.  Are you aware of the benefits of this?

You know someone said yesterday: "There are  no happy endings, there are only happy people."

Happiness is not a destination, it is a journey  (author unknown).  We can look for and concentrate our energy on the things for which we are great "full".  I'd like to share with you something I do every day to keep myself on an even keel.  I take time and write down the first five things for which I am great "full" and spend a few minutes just meditating on each one.  When I am done I am full of great feelings.

Blessings to all.


PS:  It's so nice to know our energy we expend to share with others is appreciated.   


Be gentle with yourself and as Gandi said: "Be the change you want to see in others" and I add the world around you will change.
Quick Reply
9 years ago  ::  Dec 15, 2008 - 2:11PM #6
Posts: 0

Pain, I think, comes to us in two ways: physical pain, like a broken leg, or psychological pain, such as losing a job.  We put too much emphasis in freewill in this culture that sets people up for grave disappointment; and, as we all know, not getting what you expect is painful. 


This doesn't mean, in any way, that one should give up and not use freewill.  If, for instance, you have to work with aggravating people and stay on the job simply because you don't want to lose the job, you must do something to change the situation, like be brave enough to find other employment. 


Nevertheless, pain and suffering is are given one life to live.  You can sympathize with others and their conditions; that is, if they are worse than yours, and help them out the best way you can, but that is all you can do.  And even then, those suffering may not appreciate it. 


I hate to be negative about this, but the fact is, we live in a terrible world with lots of misery because the collective consciousness is fundamentally ignorant and selfish.  We must all find a way to live through our difficulties, but it has to be on an individual basis.  The above lesson in meditation is very good and should be practiced. 

Quick Reply
9 years ago  ::  Dec 16, 2008 - 3:39AM #7
Posts: 1,847

Oh Kapper, I feel and honor your pain in this post.Frown

And, yet, I must respectfully disagree with your non positiveness statements.  As an individual one can have preferences rather than expectations from which we set ourselves up for a possible loss. We do things for others for ourselves not for those others.  Of course we desire to assist them in healthy ways.  If they do not appreciate it is is on them, not us.  We have done our duty to be loving and giving and they increases the love we experience in our heart and in our life.

With Preferences one can more easily think thoughts like: "Oh well, it just wasn't meant to be" and then move on to something else.  Surrendering to the will of divine intelligence or God causes considerable less emotional consternation.

We each live in our own world as viewed by our thoughts.  I would refuse to allow my thoughts to even think this, and if I ever did I would just ask the Universe to cancel those thoughts so they would not cause harm to myself or others.  Thoughts are things.

I also must agree to disagree with your words: We live in a terrible world with lots of misery because the collective consciousness is fundamentally ignorant and selfish".  I view this as a generalization and most often generalizations are of an exaggerated nature for me.  I regret you are in such pain, my dear friend.

There are so many kind and loving people in the world who do not make the headlines because they are living lives of quiet helpfullness and thankfullness. Do you consider yourself fundamentally ignorant and selfish?  I personally know you are not and yet you are part of the collective consciousness, are you not?

I close with this statement from the Dalia Lama which states my philosophy:




Dalai Lama






Be gentle with yourself and as Gandi said: "Be the change you want to see in others" and I add the world around you will change.
Quick Reply
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing

    Beliefnet On Facebook