The voices of fear inside us that are offended,
need to be right, gossip about others, complain about the past, or
worry about the future are really echoes of beliefs that hold us back.

If the most powerful and surest step to
changing beliefs is awareness, then listening closely to the voices of
fear will reveal many secrets about the hidden beliefs you are trying
to change.

The loudest voices of fear are the inner Judge and Victim. 

The Judge always comments on how it should be.
The Judge says things like, "You're doing it wrong. They're doing it
wrong. You should be ashamed. They should be punished. They should act
like this. You should act like that." The Judge is the critic and
argues from all the rules about what is right and what is wrong. The
Judge is the voice of the Demon of Perfection - no matter what we do,
no matter what we achieve, no matter how good it gets, it will never be
good enough.

Every coin has two sides. On one side of the
coin is the Judge and on the other side is the Victim. The Victim
receives the judgment and agrees with the opinions of the Judge. The
Victim says things like, "It's not my fault. No one ever listens to me.
It's not fair. I can't help it. No matter what I do, it's never good
enough." The Victim complains and makes up "poor me" stories and is
never in the present moment. The Victim looks to the past and believes
everything would have been all right if only. . . . The Victim looks
into the future and believes everything will be all right when. . . .
It could be all right but in the mind of the Victim, it never will be.

The Judge and the Victim have three points of
view - "there is something wrong with me, there is something wrong with
them, or.... there is something wrong with God."

Look closer. The three points of view are just a projection of one belief. We need to look no further than ourselves. 

Awareness of what you believe opens up a whole
universe of possibility. If a limiting belief and its voices are based
on someone else's opinion, a lie or something that is no longer true,
and you see that with absolute certainty - that is a giant step toward
building beliefs that support a life you can love.

Take a Moment: 

• Do the stories you tell about yourself sound like the Victim or the Judge? 
  
• Do you gossip? What do you say? 
  
• How often do you think: everything would be all right if only. . .or... everything will be all right when...? 
  
• Listen to the voice of the Victim or the Judge inside of you. Is what they are saying true? Is it really true?

Many Blessings,

Ray Dodd

You are welcome Arnie, and thanks for your valuable input..

We certainly all are either the judge or the victim at times and sometimes we are both.

Just yesterday I realized I was blaming someone else for how I was the upset I was feeling when I came out of my unconscious mind and said: "Whoa, girl!  You have to own this".

This was a time when I was both judge (of the other) and (victim of myself).  I didn't get too far when I snapped back to consciousness.

I started to smile to myself realizing how easy it can be to do so I decided to forgive myself, and just let it go while making yet another mental resolve to work to stay conscious. 

If I hadn't been judging the other, I wouldn't have made myself a victim of  myself, even if only temporarily.  DUH!

With love, respect and many blessings toall.

Angell

We have in our minds a system of beliefs based on the experiences we've had in our environment, whether it be family, school, occupation, or from the media.  Many of the beliefs may very well be imagined, such as fear of the dark.  In fact, we can become victims of our own imaginations.  But they are, nevertheless, a part of our reality.  Who judges our imaginations unless we offend or harm somebody else?

Being a victim is a subjective feeling, while the judge would have to be an objective observer, judging from his/her own subjective value system; which by the way, is imagined.  So we have one opinion against another in which both could be right or both could be wrong. 

Therefore, we must ask, "Where is the pain or hurt?"  It must come from the victim, because the judge is the observer.  Is it the judge that is inflicting the pain?  Is it he that is really to blame? 

If I react in a way that is inconsistant with my conscious beliefs, then it is an unconscious belief or expectation that is causing the reaction. It has probably been buried there for a long time and is just now coming to the surface because some stimulous set it off, caused it to become noticeable. So, let's suppose I believe in a loving approach to my husband, but he has become a different person through a disease, and I am unable to deal with that. So, even though I know that he is ill, I react with anger when he acts contrary to my expectations. How do I fish out that false belief or expectation, and, having done that, how do I release that belief? Let's say I identify the belief as my desire to "put him back the way he was", which, I know is impossible. And let's say I also know that the joy of having him as a wonderful partner, filled with intelligence is now but a memory, but I am still holding out a hope that he will somehow come back. What is the mechanism for replacing these extremely strong emotionally charged desires with a desire to love him and help him and to allow him to slowly return to childhood as he must? I am finding this a much easier thing to discuss than to actually do.

Love and blessings to all. And thank you for all your excellent ideas.

Thank you so much for your kind concern. We are in the initial stages of this disease and I am in the process of trying to get the V.A. to diagnose it so we can get medication. I have found a support group online, and so far I do not think I need someone to come in. I am in the process also of finding out what is covered by Medicare (we are 67, me, and 76, spouse) and a few days ago I also signed us both up with Humana, a Medicare Advantage program that is very affordable and will take effect in January. This picks up some of what Medicare does not cover. I will certainly contact your suggested website.

 I have no fear of this or any other disease, no dread, as I know that this is but one phase of our lives, earth life, and that it has to end to begin the next phase. He and I have been together many times before and will weather this and be together many times again. My main concern if for my day to day attitude which seems at times to deteriorate. And, sweet girl, you are certainly helping with that!

I love your group, and all that participate here. More later. Do not worry dear girl, I know that we will overcome. I already feel better just from your sweet presence.

Love and hugs, Judy