Post Reply
Page 1 of 2  •  1 2 Next
Switch to Forum Live View Constructive Empathy
6 years ago  ::  Jul 25, 2008 - 5:29PM #1
angellface
Posts: 1,847



From Daily OM Archives



July 18, 2008
Constructive Empathy




Emotional sensitivity may interfere with your ability to take pleasure
in your day today. Since you are likely feeling receptive to what
people around you are thinking and experiencing, you may find yourself
suffering acutely when you encounter someone in pain. You may also be
overly vulnerable to people who act unjustly, cruelly, or
insensitively. Before you can regain your composure, you may need to
retreat to a quiet, private spot where you can examine your emotions.
Meditation and deep-breathing exercises can soothe your battered soul.
Consider that you can do more to ease others’ pain when you are in a
rational and calm frame of mind. Once you cease reacting personally to
the emotional currents around you today, you’ll find yourself equipped
to help people cope with their feelings.


Modulating your well-developed emotional sensitivity allows you to
move through life without being adversely affected by worldly ills or
the suffering you encounter on a day-to-day basis. When we are unable
to control our empathetic reactions to painful stimuli, we can become
paralyzed by our grief even though our own lives are relatively free of
difficulty. Controlled reactions to others’ pain can be channeled into
productive action where empathy is the motivator. Even as your
sensitivity makes you acutely aware of what people are feeling, your
ability to consciously manage your emotions empowers you to take the
necessary steps to give aid to those in need. You’ll guide others
through challenges courageously today when you learn to modulate your
emotional response.

 

This is a big challenge for me.  Accepting there is nothing I can do to assist someone else when they are in such pain can be a lesson they need to learn.  My having three plantes in  Aquarius two of which are mercury and Venus is such a strong pull on me.  I have to breath deeply over and over.  Does anyone else face this challenge?

How do we know for sure when  is the correct  appropriate time to act?

 

 

Be gentle with yourself and as Gandi said: "Be the change you want to see in others" and I add the world around you will change.
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Jul 26, 2008 - 10:31AM #2
spiritalk
Posts: 1,165

Empathy is NOT about taking on others pain.  It is about dispassionate caring enough to empathize with their suffering.  This means that you can see the big picture, without getting caught up in the pain the picture causes the sufferer.

We all have lessons in life.  When we feel the pain of others is when they are most challenged in their lessons.  To wish to take it away from them is to take away their lessons.  And we can not do that anyway.  

Empathy is about knowing anothers' challenges without getting caught up in the pain.  From this perspective we can and are a more useful tool of their aid, if asked for direction.

God bless, J

Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Jul 26, 2008 - 4:26PM #3
angellface
Posts: 1,847

Thanks J.  This helps me.

Blessings,

Angell 

Be gentle with yourself and as Gandi said: "Be the change you want to see in others" and I add the world around you will change.
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Jul 26, 2008 - 7:00PM #4
JimSpiritualSeeker
Posts: 27

I believe empathy is an extremely important aspect of spirituality. Very good and helpful information for me from everyone on this thread.

 

Hi Dee, really great to see you again!Smile

 

 

Blessing to everyone!

Jim  

"The only real valuable thing is intuition."

-Albert Einstein
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Jul 26, 2008 - 10:19PM #5
angellface
Posts: 1,847

Thinking about the first post in this thread, I do not so much feel another's pain as feeling I would like to take some kind of action to alleviate that pain.  With my moon in cancer conjunct Jupiter, the great beneficent, I am a natural nurturer and with mercury and Venus in Aquarius in the 12th house of the unconscious, I zone in on  situations naturally and the desire is there to assist so I  have learned to give others options if they are interested in hearing them.  If not, I can respect the word No..

I most often know not to be a rescuer as the one one is seeking to rescue is ultimately themselves and we are unconsciously telling the other: "You cannot take care of yourself!" 

And I still think it is a fine line sometimes.

Blessings,

Angell 

Be gentle with yourself and as Gandi said: "Be the change you want to see in others" and I add the world around you will change.
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Jul 27, 2008 - 10:47AM #6
spiritalk
Posts: 1,165

There is that fine line angel between seeing what can be done and allowing someone else the right to do it for themselves.  Our experiences teach us and we can share them (only when asked to) to bring solutions.  Allowing others the same prerogative is sometimes hard to step back and watch.

God bless, J

Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Jul 28, 2008 - 11:04AM #7
spiritalk
Posts: 1,165

No matter the age of your children or loved ones (repeat for emphasis) they have come to the earth to learn lessons - just like ourselves.  It seems the challenges are age appropriate - so we need to allow. 

A word of comfort and challenge for me lately is - release.  We need to release all our feelings to God.  Sometimes this feels impossible and of course, we can always find excuses of responsibility that don't allow us to do the release.  But all in all we are all here to learn lessons - and allowing others their challenges is the biggest lesson for all of us.

When we can do no other action, we can put a protective bubble around our loved ones.  We can see them safe and protected.  Our thoughts create and it gives them something else to use in their challenges, even when they don't know we have done it.

God bless, J

Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Jul 28, 2008 - 3:05PM #8
passionate about writing
Posts: 5

I am new to the group and unfamiliar with some of the things you are discussing, but one thing I have learned is that being selfish is a good thing. Now that makes most people's skin crawl and some are already forming words with which to argue. But for me selfishness is really self-care. I suffered from depression for many years and it wasn't until I learned to love and take care of myself that I started to feel better. And looking back, in trying to care for others and putting myself last, I really had nothing of value to offer anyone anyway.

Now I take self-care very seriously. It has become a daily routine and I can always feel it when I get caught up in life's business and don't take quality time for myself.

The exciting thing that I realized after coming to a place of feeling good consistently, is that I love others so much more now. Helping others is life-giving, not life-draining as it was before. My husband and family, friends and those around me benefit so much more from a 'happy me'. I often set the tone for our household and a smile or an act of kindness can make a friends day or even the cashier at the grocery store. 

I'm in love with life and I'm sure that is rubbing off on people all around me. I don't even necessarily ask, 'what can I do to serve others?'. I just live my  life and those kinds of opportunities present themselves all day long. I just react in a way that feels good to me. I believe that when I'm in tune with myself that I am in tune with all around me as well and I can only offer that which will uplift and benefit. 

Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Jul 29, 2008 - 12:01PM #9
energychanneler
Posts: 1
Sounds like you are on track PAW - imagine being an empath, sensitive and a server at a restaurant. As up beat and compassionate as I am it doesn't prevent the person who operates on a different vibrational level from trying to pull me down by being rude, obnoxious and unkind.    You may shrug this off, but servers who are not servants by the way are written up when a guest who is unhappy complains, and guess what happens next?   Take this to another level at any job USA or otherwise and look at the situation from without (as a bystander) not from within (as a participant) and you will see how unhappy most people are.... such a shame too because there is so much beautry and kindness that we miss by not opening our eyes and hearts to those around us....by staying in the Now.... I used to want to help these people.... I can't though, can only help my Self, I've learned to go to a manager and ask that these guests be given another server as I do not wish to subject my Soul to their rantings.... at this point I am happy, and the other party or parties is well I don't know if the word is happy but they no longer have to deal with a bubbly, happy server!  I also send out a blessing and thoughts of compassion to their Souls and hope they catch it... it's all I can do... my Guide tells me that no matter how much prayer I send to another Soul it is only when that Soul decides to accept that the prayer works... so I send the prayer with much compassion attached..... then let the situation go for at that point it is in the past and no longer a part of my Now.....
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Jul 29, 2008 - 12:22PM #10
spiritalk
Posts: 1,165

If someone has no example of something else to use (compassion, a smile, etc.) they fall back to their own negativity.  Being an example of kindness and compassion we can interact without taking it on (empathy). 

We do this by being ourselves, in a protective bubble of our own best good.  My protective bubble is a filter of all negativity from within or without - that is how I see it.

God bless, J

Quick Reply
Cancel
Page 1 of 2  •  1 2 Next
 
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing
    Advertisement

    Beliefnet On Facebook