Empathy is NOT about taking on others pain.  It is about dispassionate caring enough to empathize with their suffering.  This means that you can see the big picture, without getting caught up in the pain the picture causes the sufferer.

We all have lessons in life.  When we feel the pain of others is when they are most challenged in their lessons.  To wish to take it away from them is to take away their lessons.  And we can not do that anyway.  

Empathy is about knowing anothers' challenges without getting caught up in the pain.  From this perspective we can and are a more useful tool of their aid, if asked for direction.

God bless, J

I believe empathy is an extremely important aspect of spirituality. Very good and helpful information for me from everyone on this thread.

Hi Dee, really great to see you again!

Blessing to everyone!

Jim  

There is that fine line angel between seeing what can be done and allowing someone else the right to do it for themselves.  Our experiences teach us and we can share them (only when asked to) to bring solutions.  Allowing others the same prerogative is sometimes hard to step back and watch.

God bless, J

I am new to the group and unfamiliar with some of the things you are discussing, but one thing I have learned is that being selfish is a good thing. Now that makes most people's skin crawl and some are already forming words with which to argue. But for me selfishness is really self-care. I suffered from depression for many years and it wasn't until I learned to love and take care of myself that I started to feel better. And looking back, in trying to care for others and putting myself last, I really had nothing of value to offer anyone anyway.

Now I take self-care very seriously. It has become a daily routine and I can always feel it when I get caught up in life's business and don't take quality time for myself.

The exciting thing that I realized after coming to a place of feeling good consistently, is that I love others so much more now. Helping others is life-giving, not life-draining as it was before. My husband and family, friends and those around me benefit so much more from a 'happy me'. I often set the tone for our household and a smile or an act of kindness can make a friends day or even the cashier at the grocery store. 

I'm in love with life and I'm sure that is rubbing off on people all around me. I don't even necessarily ask, 'what can I do to serve others?'. I just live my  life and those kinds of opportunities present themselves all day long. I just react in a way that feels good to me. I believe that when I'm in tune with myself that I am in tune with all around me as well and I can only offer that which will uplift and benefit. 

If someone has no example of something else to use (compassion, a smile, etc.) they fall back to their own negativity.  Being an example of kindness and compassion we can interact without taking it on (empathy). 

We do this by being ourselves, in a protective bubble of our own best good.  My protective bubble is a filter of all negativity from within or without - that is how I see it.

God bless, J