I am so sad for your pain and understand. I just lost my soulmate at 38 in a motorcycle accident 4 weeks ago and going through these same feelings. For some reason I need to stay here and do something that god has asked me to. Not sure yet what it is and trying to cope moment to moment. Because it does change and feel my life is not worth living most of the time. I'm about to lose my home as well and don't understand why all this is happening but to some of us who are suffering it feels tremendous and not worth going on. I do feel there is a reason. I have two children who are grieving with me and it is so hard to understand why. I'm reading the book of Job in the bible. I come from a very dysfunctional family and haven't spoke with them in many years. I just found out my half sister put on her myspace "ha ha she finally got what she deserved" all meant for me. How cruel can family be? I really understand you and pray for you and ask you to pray for us. Thank you.

2 yrs ago my husband died in my arms. 6 months later my oldest child died which we still dont know what caused his death. As of this writing I have 6 days till I am homeless. I have tried very hard to have faith and strength but I can no longer do it. This home is all I have left. My family turned their backs on me before the deaths and it has not changed. I am tired of being alone and made a promise that the only way I would leave my home was in a body bag. I intend to keep that promise. There is nothing left for me in this life. Please pray for my soul so that I can join my husband and son.