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    Just Pray!

    Friday, December 16, 2011, 12:36 AM [General]

    I was speaking to someone today and I was discussing a family problem and crying about the situtation and their suggestion was to just pray

    Yes, I believe in prayer but I also believe that I should put some action behind my prayers.  You know "God grant me the serenity to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

    So many times I run into Christians that think that just praying is enough but I also read that "Faith Without Works Is Dead."

    I realize that I am the maker of my own problems and that the situation that I am in I created and I also realize that God will help me but I must put my faith in action.

    There are things that God has given me to do that I have either procrastination or I just haven't done.

    I have books to write and another idea that I must do and I haven't done.  I don't know if its because of fear or what but I am stagnate until I do them.

    So please pray for me to accomplish all that God has given me to do.  Pray for my procrastination!

    Another thing I would like to talk about is that I have someone that I am interested in but there seems to be alot of people interested in their every move and what's most interesting are the ways in which some people try to sabotage his getting anywhere near me.

    It never ceases to amaze me the lengths that people will go through to character assassinate and be little you and an effort to win his approval even to the point where they will say that you stole something from them when in fact you helped them.

    But through all this what I have learned is what I dont want to be like.  I remember that trials and tribulations come to make me strong!

    This is character building time!  This is when you actually learn to "WALK IN LOVE."






    0 (0 Ratings)

    Be Still

    Wednesday, December 14, 2011, 7:17 PM [General]

    What does it mean when God says "Be Still"?  I am in a a place where God keeps telling me to "be still."  That's all I can hear.  I want to move but I can't.  I want to do something to make things change but I can't cause God keeps saying "be still.

    God says "be still" and I get like Madea "God takes to long sometimes."

    But then when I feel that way God says "Just look at your life everytime you have tried to take matters into your own hands how you made a mess of things.  Look at what happened the last time you tried to change things you almost killed yourself cause apart from me you will self destruct."

    I know what's going to happen today, tomorrow, the next day, the next month, the next year and even into eternity.  You don't know what's going to happen the next moment and you think you know better than I?

    "Be Still And Know That I Am God !!!!"

    0 (0 Ratings)


    Thursday, December 8, 2011, 1:01 AM [General]

    I was recenty told by someone that I was thought to be timid.  When I told my friends they got a gut retching laugh out that statement because of the definition of timidity.

     Timid is defined as:

    1.  lacking in courage or self-confidence timid person

    I love people, I talk to them all the time but if I approach someone and they act aloof or irritated I may not approach them again.  I don't know anyone who likes to be rejected.
    Now that's definitiely where the ''ego'' comes into play.
    3.7 (1 Ratings)


    Thursday, December 8, 2011, 12:41 AM [General]

    I had to break te silence because someone made a statement that was confusing to me.  It was one of those statements that made you ponder.  You know one of those "Scooby Doo" head shaking moments.  You know the look Scooby gives someone when he's puzzled.

    They talked about the ego so of course I looked up the definition to make sure we were all on the same page and this is what it said.

    Ego is defined as "the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought." 

    In the twelve step community "Ego" is defined as "Easing God Out."

    I heard someone say that some people get ideas and won't allow other people to take over the idea or use the idea because they have to recognized or they what it known that they were the one who originated the idea.

    Well, I would say that it depends on what type of idea it was if it is just a simple idea in which there is little money made then yeah who cares whose idea it was.

    But if your talking about an idea in which there is much profit to be made why would someone turn their idea completely over to another person to profit and gain absoluately nothing from it especailly if their in financial need.

    Example:  If I have an idea in which you can make $125,000 in one day and I also known how to plan the event is it not right that I also profit from it?

    I would consider that common sense and not ego.  I am sure that if someone had an idea say for a book and they wrote the book would they turn the book and its profits over the publisher because the publisher said they think that they are operating out of ego?

    Someone with common sense would say no that's not ego that is "business."

    0 (0 Ratings)

    Silence Is Golden

    Sunday, December 4, 2011, 8:59 AM [General]

    There's a rule that says: "Silence Is Golden" and because I have the gift of discernment and I can usually see behaviors and traps before they happen I am taking the next couple of weeks to practice silence.

    I get hearing God syas "Be still and know that I am God."  I want to make a move but I can't so I am going to practice silence and see what the outcome will be.

    Pray for me!

    0 (0 Ratings)

    Why Women Spray Their Territory

    Saturday, December 3, 2011, 10:43 PM [General]

    I was asked to discuss why women spray their territory. Well, let's see, first of all it's because she wants you to know that that particular person is taken and don't you dare cross that invisible line that she has just encircled around him.

    This may be imaginary! But in her mind it exists.

    Some women are like cats!  She needs you to recognize her!  O.k. Now that I've seen you. Now what!  Of course, that won't be enough, what she really wants is for you to get lost.  You know like that Michael Jackson song "beat it." 

    If you don't take heed things can get even more complicated especially if she has any kind of power.  So, what do you do?  If your at any event where she's in attendance go, socialize and then remove yourself.

    Don't play games that you should have stopped playing in junior high school.


    1. Using her friends and co-workers to befriend you to keep close contact so that she can know if your with him or not.

    2. Bumping you ever so slightly when she's around, you know, the accidentially on purpose move.

    3.  Using other people to tell her want you said to him and how he responded. 

    4.  Maybe he squeezed your upper arm and she walks by and squeezes your shoulder to let you know that she knows.

    5.  She acts as if you and her or now friends when you don't even know her.  Example: Approaching you with a fake smile and saying a couple of words and then walking off.

    6. Using his friends to find out about his whereabouts or keep you away, etc.

    I don't know you could probably add to this list but the just of is don't play the game!

    What she needs is called "Psycho-therapy."  Fear shows up in many forms and one of the major ones is jealousy.

    So what your actually dealing with is a jealous woman who is acting emotionally immature. 

    If your a mature woman (A grown woman) don't take it personal.  She's used to getting rid of people with those tactics and they probably have worked in the past UNTIL NOW.

    Understand and know what your dealing with and have the number of a good therapist on hand in case you have to slip her the number.

    If none of those things work be prepared to tell him whats going on.



    0 (0 Ratings)

    The New Sexy Is Healthy?

    Wednesday, November 30, 2011, 2:10 PM [General]

    I hear the new sexy is healthy!  I just got a Ninja (Juicer, etc) machine.  And of course, I'm obessing over it so can someone send me recipes for healthy juices and drinks that have been proved to be healthy and tested by the sender.  Please forward.

    0 (0 Ratings)

    Love Triangles The Agony & The Ecstasy

    Wednesday, November 30, 2011, 1:39 AM [General]

    Yeah! I had to talk about it because more and more of my sisters are involved in them.

    So, let's see what they're all about.

    Psychologically it is said that love triangles are very complicated.  Most people don't seek them out --- at least not consciously.  They just seem to happen.  One moment you are happy and single.  The next thing you know your in love with someone who is married.

    Or you are happily married and realize that your partner is seeing someone else.  Sane people get out of love triangles as soon as they realize they are in one.  Love Addicts stay in them hoping things will change in time.  This is because love addicts can't let go.  They have no tolerance for separation anxiety.  Once they have bonded with someone, letting go is like death to them. They kill themselves or they kill someone in the triangle. The media is full of Crimes of the Heart. 

     One of the reasons why the love addict as a tolerance for the pain of a love triangle is because when they were children the natural triangle between the mother, father and child, went horribly wrong.  Usually the child was rejected by one of the parents and incested by the other--not necessary sexual incest but certainly covert or emotional incest.  The rejection/incest magnifies the triangle. 

    The Obedipus experience, in which the child adores one parent and is in competition with the other, is not outgrown with little impact on the child's future.  Instead it becomes rooted in the childs psyche and wounds him or her.

    As this means that the triangle is familiar and some respects comfortable.  This, in turn, means that the person as a high tolerance for the pain and suffering of a love triangle once they get involved in one.

    Futhermore, some love addicts try to resolve the wounds of their childhood by re-creating the triangle of their childhood--over and over again.  they are obessed with the idea that things will end differently each time.  Unfortunately, this is not how you heal the wounds of childhood.  You don't go back to the scene of the crime and commit the crime all over again.  You go back to the scene of the crime in therapy with an enlightened witness to guide you.  You go back to grieve, forgive, let go and move on.

    There are also those who except the down side of the triangle for the ecstasy that often goes with it.  Traingles can be like roller coasters.  When one person in the triangle is momentarily, the forerunner, he are she is as high as a kite.  But everyone pays such a high price for the thrill of being chosen at any given moment--the winner of the competition.

    This, too, is often tied in with the Obedipus experience in which the child is trying to get the parent she adores to chose her over the other parent.

    They most important thing to know about triangles is that they are unhealthy, painful and potentially dangerous

    Information was obtained from:

    For those who are familiar with the "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous on page 69 (get it) 69!  There is information on taking a sex inventory.  It says "we reviewed our conduct over the years past.  Then it says where have we been selfish, dishones, or inconsiderate? Whom have we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness?  where were at fault, what should we have done instead?  We got this all down on paper and looked at it.

    In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life.  We subjected each relation to this test --- was it selfish or not? 

    We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them.  We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be depised and loathed.

    In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. 

     Yes, a sex inventory so that we no longer leave victims, hold hostages, mantipulate and control to to get what we what.




    0 (0 Ratings)

    Toxic Relationships

    Tuesday, November 29, 2011, 1:48 PM [General]

    I made a decision yesterday and it was a very painful decision because in making the decision I had to let go of someone very, very close to me.  (My Mother) The relationship was TOXIC!

    Toxic relationships are defined by a pattern of destructive criticism, manipulating, bitterness, negative attitudes and a history of verbal or physical abuse.  Maybe your partner puts you down in front of other people, you’re thoughts and opinions are discredited, you’re made to constantly feel stupid and like a child.  The wild turbulence and all the energy that often goes into these relationships can exhaust you physically, emotionally and mentally.  Another point to understand here is that toxic relationships never improve by themselves.  You could try and understand what their feelings are about you and why they treat you the way that they do, but you could end up just spinning your wheels in frustration. My advice is to remove yourself from negative relationships.  You have every right to determine whom you do, and do not, want to associate with.  Every single person has the ability to make choices based on their ideals and attitudes.  If you find that you always feel like garbage after hanging out with a particular group of people, then DON’T ASSOCIATE WITH THOSE PEOPLE.  If you’re finding that your family gatherings are incredibly stressful cling to the one family member that you do enjoy and care about.  Have the attitude that maybe this is just a yearly thing so all you have to do is survive it.  You also can choose to not attend family gatherings where participants are going to be hostile with yourself and one another.  Once you fail to show up at more and more gatherings, people may start to realize how they’ve been acting and reach out to you.  If not, then who cares?  It’s ok to let go of them.  Remember that you always have the power to choose and the person who is going to help you the most is………

    It was toxic because every time I left the company of my mother I left feeling bad about myself, unloved, unwanted and depressed.  I know, your thinking but that's your Mom.  While do Moms have the right to leave you feeling worthless and depressed for days after talking to them?

     I should have been out of that relationship and cut my ties long time ago.

    But what if it isn't that easy!  What happens if the person is as close to you as a person can get.  A relative.  Blood of your blood, bone of your bone.

    And it's really not easy if you grew up thinking and being lead to believe that "YOU ARE THE PROBLEM."

    You know it really doesn't work well when you have a group of supportive people who validate your worth on a daily basis and your self esteem as grown so much that you have learned to set boundries.

    Before meeting these group of people my self-esteem was really, really low.  I grew up being told that I wasn't nothing (actually he used the other word), wouldn't be nothing, and wouldn't amount to nothing! (My Step-father)

    So consequently, I sabotaged anything good that can into my life because I didn't think I was worth it.

    It's different today!

    I met a group of people who loved me until I learned to love myself.  I had a sponsor who told me to look in the mirror everyday and tell myself that I loved myself.

    I still suffer from depression (which is anger turned inward) and I have learned how not to stay in it to long.  I write a graditude list.

    I also call that sponsor who tells me "Do Yourself A Favor, Stay Out Of Your Head and Leave Yourself Alone." 

    She also taught me to go where the love is not where it isn't (meaning associate with people who love and care about you and leave the others alone).

    You know these people have little slogans like "Keep It Simple Stupid" ,  "Take It Easy", One Day At A Time."

    And they tell you things like "Stop Doing the Same Thing Expecting Different Results."

    But most of all they taught me that when I get into a relationship to make a decision of whether or not I can except that person for being just the way they are (with all their character defects) and not go into the realtionship trying to change them or thinking one day they will change because they may never change and if you can't except them for being just the way they are right now today leave them alone.

    Don't come cry'in about what someone did to you but look at your part in it.  What did you do to cause the reaction from that person?  Always look at me!

    What I realize in toxic relationships is that I can never be me.  I am unable to express who I am.  The other person is constantly trying to change me.  You don't do this right!  You said the wrong thing!  Don't look like that look like this!

    Oh Lord!  It's just to much.   I know who I am today.  I know my likes and dislikes and I like me. 

    And evidently you don't cause your constantly trying to change me!

    So I had to say good-bye to toxic and save myself from continuous pain.  Because one thing pain will do and that is motivate you to change.

    Here's a quote that I liked I thought I would end my post with

    Healthy love must be nurturing. It is not only about what you are, who you are now- but what you may become. The potential of the human spirit for growth, love and awareness. Therefore, for me, love is about unlocking the potential of the other- not stymieing  it with judgment. Instead nurturing.  It is an awareness  of your beloveds potential. I have seen relationships where one or both people are choked - where their love has  become an albatross- an antidote to the fear of being alone not a mysterious adventure. To often humans judge and judge and judge - nothing more is this than extension of ego- destroying communication and cutting off the vitality needed in a healthy relationship. My answer to this is thanks, but no thanks.


    3.7 (1 Ratings)

    Ambivalent Love

    Monday, November 28, 2011, 8:49 PM [General]

    Ambivalent Love Addicts

    Ambivalent lovers crave love but also fear it.  Because of their ambivalence they do one or more of the following.

    They avoid intimacy altogether by experiencing love through romantic fanasties about unavailable people.

    They only get involved with people who are emotionally unavailable.

    They prefer romantic affairs compared to committed relationships

    They sabotage relationships with available people when their fear of intimacy comes up they initiate relationships with more than one person at a time in order to avoid moving to a deeper level with any one person

    They sexualize a relationship to such a degree that emtional initimacy is non-existent

    They fall in love but avoid commitment


    Ambivalent Love Addicts (ALA’s) crave love but also fear it. Because of their ambivalenAce, they do one or more of the following:

    1. They avoid intimacy altogether by only experiencing love through romantic fantasies about unavailable people.
    2. They only get involved with people who are emotionally unavailable.
    3. They prefer romantic affairs to committed relationships.
    4. They sabotage relationships with available people when their fear of intimacy comes up.
    5. They initiate relationships with more than one person at the same time in order to avoid moving to a deeper level with any one person.
    6. They sexualize relationships to such a degree that emotional intimacy is non-existent.
    7. They fall in love but avoid commitment.
    0 (0 Ratings)

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