See here for an important message regarding the community which has become a read-only site as of October 31.
Greetings to all. I've never participated in anything like this so please bear with me. I'd like to share the miracle of my salvation. I believe it's somewhat unusual as the Holy Spirit chased me for years but I never saw it until several years later. Let me explain.
Like many people, I came from a pretty abusive childhood. I left home at 15 and married at 18. My marriage wasn't much better than my childhood home but we stuck it out and had 4 children. My husband was a drinker and a chaser and often physically abusive but I had no way to support myself and 4 children with only a 9th grade education.
We lived on ten acres of land in the country. One day a young woman came to our house. Neither my husband nor I knew her. She was young, friendly and pretty. She sat and chatted with us for awhile and then said she had to leave. I don't recall her name or much of what we discussed after she left, I only know that I somehow felt better... encouraged. Not as depressed as I had been. Shortly after her visit I made arrangements for childcare and I went into the local community college to ask them what I had to do to be able to attend college there. Long story short, they told me they were offering the G.E.D. tests the very next day and I could take them. I took them, of course. My grades were in the mid 80 percentiles, all praise to God, and I was able to attend college on grants and scholarships.
Now, you may consider the unknown lady who visited us at our home the miracle, and she may have been. I'm ashamed to say I hadn't considered that until I started to write this account of my history.
I completed my college education and began working immediately as a RN in a local hospital in their ICU unit. I loved it!! My husband didn't change, my children and I were still unhappy but, for some reason I was unable to discover, I could not leave him! I hated him but I also loved him. I was miserable! I burried myself into my work even further.
One day I transfered a patient from ICU up to the 6th floor of the hospital. I finished giving the unit RN report and assisted transfering the patient into the bed in the room, as I was taking the empty ICU bed out of the room I heard someone say "Hello Alice". I looked in the direction of the voice only to see an old friend of mine from junior high school.
I was surprised, in many ways, to see her as she was very emaciated; just skin covering her bones. But she was setting upright in bed, very alert and animated and she had a beautiful, shekina glow surrounding her entire head, face, and arms. "Mary Ann", I gasped, "What are you doing here"? She looked at me and proclaimed clearly "I have cancer and I'm dying. But I know Jesus Christ and if He's ready for me, then I'm ready to go to Him!" And she was smiling. I can't recall what I said to her. I left the room and leaned against the wall in the hallway thinking:"I wish I had her faith!" I took the bed back to ICU and burried myself in my work
My children went to a nearby town to a middle-aged woman child-sitter. There were children the same ages in the neighborhood for them to play with so it all worked out. One day, our youngest daughter, Barbie, asked if she could go to church with one of the kids in the neighborhood. I'd asked the care-giver about this family and had gotten only the best of refrences, so I agreed. This church going ritual soon became a regular occurance. Barbie was always a good
kid, fiesty at times, but I was seeing a change in her, a good change, but still a change. The Jim Jones disaster had just occured so I thought I should go and just "check this church out". I ran the idea past my husband and he agreed. So, he stayed home in bed and I went to check the church out. "Everything seemed fine to me", I told my husband. "The preacher sounded like a southern used car salesman"."I think she'll be okay".
Time went on and our children grew, married and left home. While we had seemed to have reached a truce, a cold war, so to speak, I was bitterly unhappy and depressed. I was so depressed that it seemed that my sense of color was distorted; instead of seeing color true and bright, I saw color more as shades of brown. I could put on a'social face'/phoney face', but I was dead inside.
By this time I had left the ICU and had taken an administrative job in another town. The drive was about one hour each way so I had lot's of time to think each way. And
think I did. Mile after mile, to and from work. "All our bills are paid.""We own our home and lake front property free and clear. We have good jobs with pleanty of money, why can't I be happy? Why can't I be happy Why can't I be happy? Day after day,mile after mile. It seemed there would never be any end! My depression deepened! The brown got browner. Finally, one morning as I drove around the lake edge on my way towards work, my question changed just a bit. Instead of why can't I be happy? for some reason, unknown to me, the words that came from my mouth were "What do I need to make me happy?"
Immediately, a internal voice filled my mind and said: "You need Jesus Christ in your life as your Saviour". I felt a hot rush flow through my body. I knew instinctively The Voice was The Truth! I pulled my car to the side of the road and clumslily prayed to accept Jesus as my Savior. When I opened my eyes I felt like the character Dorothy, had she been real, must have when her house landed and she opened the door to see color for the first time. Now, I, for the first time in a long time, could see colors again. Wow.
Well, believe it or not, there is more! My drinking buddies at work got mad at me. (They're saved now) I didn't tell my husband, at first. I knew that big changes would occur. Finally, one day I said to him, "Honey, what do you think about us going to church?" To my amazement, he agreed to go! We wondered about where to go and finally I suggested that we go to the church that our daughter had gone to. We agreed. I knew that if we went and if the Pastor gave an altar call that I would go forward. Well, we went, an altar call was given and I went forward. My husband also went forward. We were baptized together a few weeks later.
NOW!!!Here it comes: As we got to know the Pastor and his wife I was telling them about my friend Mary Ann in the hospital and the unusual glow around her. The Pastor's wife said "You're speaking of Mary Ann Cxxx aren't you?" "Yes",I answered in surprise, "did you know her?" "Know her, she said, "Dear, this was her home church".
Dear Florence...I know that's not really your name...but I've wanted to start a note that way.
Thank you for taking the time to share your wonderful "Florence" story...in fact...as Paul Harvey would say...I can't wait to hear the "rest of the story" about your mysterious internet penpal.
Good wishes and godwinks. SQ
ATTENTION: Looking for Marena, who posted a story to the community forum in June about the amazing Godwink she and her husband discovered in the basement of their new home. I am very interested in interviewing her for an upcoming book. If you are her, or know of her, please have her contact me asap at email@example.com .
Thank you to everyone who has been posting to the community page. Please continue to share and pass the word among friends and family. The more people we get on board, the better our community will become.
As I am currently working on several books, if you have a Godwink story you think might fit in the category of: Pets, Recovery, Times of Sorrow, God's GPS, or general, and you're willing to be interviewed, please email a copy of the story you post on the community page along with your contact information to: firstname.lastname@example.org .
Best wishes and winks,
Ah, this is a great example of God's work. Whether it's a jigsaw puzzle with the pieces all dumped out on the dining room table or millions and millions of stones scattered across a beach, there's one with your name on it. Even if you can't find it right when you want to, God knows that it's there.
I am the divorced mother of six children - two biological, four adopted - ages 22 through 11. My husband was a pastor who left the ministry and our marriage after 20 years. This is a "God Wink" that happened to me last week and was posted on my blog at my website www.CynthiaJoyLevi.com
I am camping with my children in the Upper Penninsula of Michigan this week. Yesterday we took a 2hr drive and visited Taquamenon Falls and Whitefish Point along the shore of majestic Lake Superior. The highlight of the day was definitely our visit to the beautiful historic beach at Whitefish Point. The creamy sand is soft and fine and is strewen with oval cobble stones. The view is exquisite! Even more than the sand and water, the polished stones caught my attention with their varied beauty. The word EXTRAVAGANT kept coming to mind as I feasted on the colors and shapes of the stones. They were lovely, each one different from it's neighbor. The colors and hues were fabulous, shades of pink, coral, glittering white, green, brown, blue-grey, dark ironstone, black. My favorite stone looks like it is made of gold glitter. It sparkles in the sun much the same way a fresh blanket of snow glitters. The stones were thickly strewen along the beach as far as we could see and we would exclaim with wonder over each stone we found, each one a precious treasure in it's own special loveliness, crafted by the hand of our Creator.
Two of my girls had fun skipping rocks over the surface of the lake, seeing how many jumps they could get out of each throw. The other two girls experimented with banging the rocks against each other, breaking them to see the inside. I spent my time watching them, taking pictures, loving the joy they were finding in their activities. One little person was missing from the fun though. My son Arik.
I lovingly call my boys my "bookends". Bryson is the oldest, Arik is the youngest, with my four daughters in the middle. Arik is "all boy" and being the only male at home now, often complains about feeling left out. We do all we can to include him in everything we do, but I have found the way boys experience the world is very different from how girls do. Arik adds incredible fun to our little family with his comedic antics and is getting a lot of practice in learning how to be a gentleman...but he longs for more male relationships. Arik is very close to his older brother Bryson who lives 1.5 hours drive away from us, and who is currently serving as a short-term missionary in Russia. Yesterday while at the beach, in the midst of all the girls having fun, Arik felt lonely. I looked around for him and found him digging in the sand by himself, tears in his eyes.
"I miss Bryson mom." He said. "I miss Dad". It was the companionship of another male he was longing for. A guy to do some guy things with on this beautiful beach. I hugged him and listened to him for a bit then encouraged him to join in on the rock banging. He was feeling too sad and didn't want to.
"Let's look for a special rock for Bryson and your Dad then." I said. That helped, and though his shoulders were slumped and his eyes downcast, he hunted for rocks with me. We found a pretty green speckled one for his father but didn't know what kind to get for his brother. I spied some beautiful dark grey cobbles and picked one up. "How about this one Arik?" As I handed it to him, my attention was caught by a marking on top of the stone. It was the unmistakable image of the capital letter "A". (photo is available on my website blog)
Arik's nickname in our family is "A". We call him that all the time. God had just given Arik a GREAT BIG MAN HUG! For years and years and years God had been preparing that very stone for this very moment because He knew his son Arik would need the message it would carry. In all of the thousands of rocks on that beach, we "just happened" to find that very one. In all of the thousands and hundreds of thousands of people on the face of this earth, God loved Arik, God KNEW Arik, before he was ever born. God chose Arik, out of all the hundreds of abandoned babies born in India in the year 1998, to place in our family. The rock carried a deep message for Arik...and for me. In the midst of our times of deep grief, loneliness, despair, HE IS WITH US. Our circumstances may not change, but we are changed with that certain knowledge.
There is One who knows us intimately. There is One who guides us unerringly to peace and joy in the midst of hardship, when we listen and obey His voice. There is One who loves us so much...He inscribes messages to us on stones. He prepares our way before us and meets us there. He walks through the valley of the shadow of death with us. We are not alone. We are deeply and unconditionally loved.
Scripture says that our names are written on the palm of His hand. It also says that some day when we stand before Him, God will give us a special stone with a new name written on it. That name will be for only the two of us to know together. An intimate name full of deep meaning and value.
Thank you my precious Lord for giving that rock to Arik. Thank you for showing up for him in a supernatural way and being a wise Father to him. Thank you for teaching me daily how to parent these children without the help of a husband. Thank you for the lesson in it for all of us.
Perhaps the most puzzling thing about godwinks is WHAT THEY MEAN.
I always remind readers that, like those little winks you received as a kid from Grandma, a godwink is a message of reassurance...such as..."Hey Kid, hang in there...you're not alone." Grandma's wink was never meant as a directive, i.e., "Have another piece of pie." In the same manner, God's winks at us are messages of simple reassurance. No more. Not a directive...nor the answer to a question.
I believe God is reminding us that as we go through life He gave us the privilege (and perhaps obligation) of keeping our own hands on the steering wheel. Most of the way we can decide whether we go too fast or too slow. And which direction. And with that Free Will from God, we, like any child, are expected to be mobile on our own. When we do, guided by His small still voice within...often the same as instinct...God knows that we will be stronger because of it.
There's a lot of meaning in that phrase, "Let go and Let God."
And remember, when you are out there on the highway, those signs don't tell you where to go. You've decided that yourself. The signs are merely reassurance.
Good wishes and godwinks
I have been praying for the same thing for over nine years, and have amassed a large number of what I believe to be Godwinks, but am losing faith because I don't know if I'm on the right path or not.
The first time I met "C" my immediate thoughts were "He's the one I'm going to marry", "he will accept me as I am", and "he will break my heart." I wasn't even physically attracted to him!!! We became friends but I couldn't figure him out. HE seemed to be interested, but then at times he seemed uninterested. By the end of the first year I was at wits end, crying almost every day. Finally I broke down and asked God for a sign.
I was in my car. It was after Thanksgiving and the parking lot of the store we worked at was full. C had managed to get a parking spot by the front of the store. I told God I needed a "hit me on the head sign", because I don't get subtleties, I don't want there to be a misinterpretation of any sort. I figured I had to be specific. So, I asked that upon my return I may receive a parking spot next to his car IF he and I were to be united in a loving romantic relationship with each other.
I wasn't messing around. I wasn't allowing any confusion regarding "friendship" versus "romantic relationship". Nor was I going to let it be open to loving romantic relationship with "someone else".
When I came back there were TWO parking spots, one on each side of his car! The rest of the lot was still full. Wow, was that a hit me on the head sign!?! What are the chances? I was elated until I started questioning... why would God talk to me? Why would HE communicate with little grain of sand me? Needless to say, I continued to stress and cry over this.
About two weeks later I was at work. I knew C had written a check and my job dealt with processing checks. I had gone through all 4000 checks and had not seen his. So, I asked God that I could see his check as a sign, that C and I would be united...etc.
I placed the checks in the sorting machine, and kept working. All of a sudden the machine jammed, I turned around, and there was his check staring back at me! It was stuck in a spot where checks do not get stuck! I couldn't find a reason as to why it had gotten stuck, or why the machine jammed. What were the odds that out of 4000 checks HIS would get stuck? And what are the odds that it would get stuck in that spot, perfect for me to turn around and be able to immediately see it? Well... a few weeks later, C started dating someone.
A few months later I was at a friend's house. Her mom told us a story about the St. Therese of Lisieux Novena and the roses. (St. Therese sends roses in affirmation of your request) I decided to pray the novena for the usual request. I was starting to get nervous that I might not get a rose, but on the final evening of the novena I received an email with a beautiful pink rose.
Well, C's relationship with the girl was short lived, but later that year he started dating someone new. And within 5 months of that I decided I had had enough. It was just too painful to see him with someone else. So, I ceased all contact. I figured I'd either never see him again, or God would have to bring us together again if He wanted.
I never ceased praying however, over and over again. One evening I was overwrought with sorrow, and I said to God that He must be so pissed off at me because I keep asking for the same thing like a broken record and He must just be sick of me. I asked Him to speak to me through scripture, and when I opened the Bible, my eye landed on the Persistent Widow parable. How perfect was that?!
About a year and a half after I had walked away from C and our friendship, I changed jobs. About a week into my new job I learned that the dry cleaning service that we went through was the same company that C worked for. Godwink? Was this a second chance? I thought, God placed me at this job; God placed us in each others paths! This must truly be meant to be...
In spring of 2006 our friendship became very close. This was great, but still caused me pain because I wanted more, and C didn't.
All through this time I kept either asking for signs (and receiving them) or praying the novena (and getting the roses).
Once I specified to get a white rose. I was at work and a lady I've never seen before came around the corner, handed me a white rose and told me she wanted to give it to me because she couldn't take it on the plane with her because it would wilt.
Another time I was going to work and I was deciding whether to ask for a specific color rose or not. I thought maybe a yellow one, or maybe something different like purple. I decided not to specify the color. I got to work and a manager said she had emailed me. I went to check email and there were 2 images in the file. One was a huge bouquet of odd colored roses, including purple. The second image was of one single yellow rose.
There are tons more such stories!!!
Roses or signs, I ask, and I receive. And yet because the relationship between C and I does not change, I am wondering if I've been wrong. Are these really Godwinks? Is God trying to talk to me? What is going on?! Do I keep hoping that one day something between us will change? Is it possible that after 10 years something could really change?
As I write this C has been dating someone new for over 5 months. He's very happy. I'm glad he's happy, but it's causing me much pain. I don't know what I am supposed to do.
What do you think? Any advice?
My divine coincidence was so profound for me, that I made a 2-part video and put it both on Youtube and here on Beliefnet. More than 6,400 people have watched it. I believe everyone can connect to God in the same manner as I discovered for myself and show on these videos. Discover your personal connector word to God!
See the videos on YouTube at:
Hi everyone, I'm new to the board. I don't have alot of time, but I just wanted to quickly stop in and say hello. So I'll give you the snapshot version of me, and here it goes; I live in Columbia, SC. I'm a preacher's wife and I'm involved in an intercessory prayer group. I came across Mr. Rushnell/Godwinks via TBN and I was totally Awed by him. It was like I had an "AHA!" moment. Everything that he was saying made sense to me. It brought tears to my eyes because I felt as though he had given me a very precious gift from heaven!
Sometimes God has a way of whispering His winks...like a little nudge, and other times He has a way of making it very obvious that He wants us to pay attention. Because you did, you saved a little bird's life. Thank you for sharing!