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Switch to Forum Live View Coach Takes Student to Prom; Gets Fired
2 years ago  ::  Jun 05, 2012 - 10:03AM #1
Ironhold
Posts: 11,519
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In exchange for bringing up his grades by a considerable margin, a 17-year-old student went to the prom with his 41-year-old coach; both his parents and her husband were fine with the arrangement, but the school decided otherwise and canned her.

Good idea, poor execution?
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2 years ago  ::  Jun 05, 2012 - 10:41AM #2
Nepenthe
Posts: 2,713

I was pretty ok with it until I read that she slow danced a couple of times with the kid.  That is a little too personal for my tastes.  Otherwise, I found nothing wrong with her actions.

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.
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2 years ago  ::  Jun 05, 2012 - 10:47AM #3
Unworthyone
Posts: 2,754

Details:  She was a volunteer, not an employee of the school.


Her husband and the kid's parents were aware and approved in advance.  There was nothing sexual or illicit in the story.  It was not an ongoing affair.


While it does not say in the story, I suspect some tight-assed biddy was the most "outraged" by this "scandalous display."


I personally would be more concerned about the ribbing this kid would take from his classmates, having to go to the prom with someone old enough to be his mother.


I think at the most an admonishment might have been in order.  But to fire a volunteer who has increased track participation and encourages students to improve their academics for what could only be described as a lapse in judgement is overkill.

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2 years ago  ::  Jun 05, 2012 - 11:07AM #4
Cesmom
Posts: 4,766

I agree.  Firing her was overkill, it sounds like.  It probably wasn't the smartest thing to do on her part, and she should maybe be told that, but firing was overkill.  It seemed pretty innocent.

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More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.
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2 years ago  ::  Jun 05, 2012 - 11:19AM #5
Erey
Posts: 18,690

I am not sure, we can't know the whole story.



I personally would not be totally cool and comfortable with adult staff engaging with the students in this way.    This coach might have been totally innocent with it but I don't think I would have approved it if I were in charge.  I am not sure i would have fired her



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2 years ago  ::  Jun 05, 2012 - 12:21PM #6
TemplarS
Posts: 6,787

Local school boards/superintendents/principals can be some of the worst petty dictators in existence.


That being said, I think things like this are also a perfectly understandable over-reaction to the  cases of real abuse which come to light from time to time.  In the sort of climate these officials live in, even the slightest appearance of impropriety may be unacceptable.


This is sad.  Lots of times, kids need simple things like hugs of encouragement.  No teacher or coach in their right mind is going to be willing to do that these days for fear someone will see them and think they're Jerry Sandusky. 

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2 years ago  ::  Jun 05, 2012 - 12:29PM #7
Erey
Posts: 18,690

I think you are right Templar and it is rather sad.


When I was a Senior in HS (a million years ago) a young 22/23 year old teacher took an 18 year old senior to the prom - as a date.  Which I think even if it is legal I would never have wanted to tolerate it had I been in charge.  In my middle 20's I was friends with another young woman who was about 24/25 and was dating (in every sense of the word) one of her 18 year old senior students.  So even both those situations were at those times legal, I would think they would be highly career limiting.  In short, I would probably want to get rid of any teacher who did that. 



I think too administrators are "petty dictators"  but also they can't always afford to be flexible.  If a kid is mistreated by a staff member who is innocently taking them to the prom then it reflects badly on the administrator if they allowed it in the first place. 

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2 years ago  ::  Jun 05, 2012 - 12:45PM #8
TemplarS
Posts: 6,787

Also back in the dark ages, one of my high school math teachers married one of his students.  That was okay, back then.


These days, what seems to be one of the main factors (as in the workplace) is the position of authority.  The risk is, a person in such a position of authority will use that position, either overtly or implicitly, to coerce a person into a relationship.  That is and should be unacceptable.


The difference in this case is that there was no improper relationship at all. It was a public outing.  Families were okay with it.  There have been cases where brothers and sisters went to the prom together; on the same basis, presumably this should not be allowed either because it amounts to incest.


Simply because some people (evidently, in this case, a "chaperone") were uncomfortable with it is not (or should not be) actionable. 

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2 years ago  ::  Jun 05, 2012 - 4:06PM #9
DotNotInOz
Posts: 6,833

No, this is not okay. I don't care how innocent it was.


A coach or a teacher should maintain the level of distance considered appropriate between a supervisor and employees.


Being at a school-sponsored event in what looks like a dating relationship is extremely unprofessional and unethical besides.

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2 years ago  ::  Jun 05, 2012 - 4:49PM #10
Erey
Posts: 18,690

Maybe so Templar.  There is no real reason for me to form a hard oppinion on this subject.  It does seem as you say "sad".  Just today's world is so full of litigation that people really can't be trusted to be themselves and act out of what make sense at the time.  Everything has to be cleared by the higher ups. 



I am not saying this coach is a bad person but I am saying if I were a school administrator I would not have wanted/allowed this prom date to happen.  Even if I believed completely in the innocence of it all.  Probably I would be afraid of getting in trouble with the school board. 

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