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Switch to Forum Live View Parents Turn Children in for Theft
3 years ago  ::  Jul 11, 2011 - 8:36PM #21
jane2
Posts: 14,295

Those youngsters in the video were creating absolute havoc in the store. They weren't just pinching a candy-bar or a bag of chips. They were destructive and meant to be. This wasn't penny-ante behavior. Perhaps the mother who turned them into the police did the best she could under the circumstances.


What I do see is a lack of social services and sports and other programs. But that would raise taxes and no conservative would buy into that. We now have private prisons for hire, for crying out loud : profit motive involved. I know more about this than I would want to.


My younger daughter, now in her forties, mentioned recently how many books and mags she read at an early age because they were all over our home. She read TRINITY by Uris in the sixth grade and challenged her anglophile, idiot teacher about what the Brits did to the Irish. Her heritage is about 1/3 Irish and 2/3 Brit. Youngsters from various backgrounds need parenting that fits them. Some youngsters and their families need social services and programs.


---------------------------------------


We can all do "confession time". When I was a senior in high school I went to the Concert Party and then out to a "night-club" with my date and my friends. Had my first vodka screwdriver that night--at 16. I went on few dates after that when I did not have a drink--this was in NYS where the legal age for drinking was 18. I turned 18 when I was a sophomore in college. My future husband commented to me that I was a party-girl with substance; he was right.


 

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3 years ago  ::  Jul 11, 2011 - 9:16PM #22
mainecaptain
Posts: 21,786

Thank you Ebon, that was a wonderful post, and added to my closet of knowledge. Much appreciated.

A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side. Aristotle
Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow. Plato..
"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives" Jackie Robinson
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3 years ago  ::  Jul 11, 2011 - 10:31PM #23
Ebon
Posts: 10,148

Maine and pieces, thank you and you're very welcome.


Jul 11, 2011 -- 8:36PM, jane2 wrote:

Those youngsters in the video were creating absolute havoc in the store. They weren't just pinching a candy-bar or a bag of chips. They were destructive and meant to be. This wasn't penny-ante behavior. Perhaps the mother who turned them into the police did the best she could under the circumstances.



As I said, I can't view the video because I'm stuck using my SO's PC for at least the next four days. To be honest, it's really impossible to say what their parenting was like.


What I do see is a lack of social services and sports and other programs. But that would raise taxes and no conservative would buy into that.



True, both would help no end. Social clubs, such as sports clubs, provide some sense of structure and, something else which is important to the teenage psyche, real measurable results that you can see happening (teenagers are often not good as long-range planning both from lack of experiance and because hormones mean they literally perceive time differently from adults). Church youth groups are often only open to members of that church and/or preach too much to be appealing to a teenager.


We now have private prisons for hire, for crying out loud : profit motive involved. I know more about this than I would want to.



Which, since the state already does prisons about as cheaply as possible, means they have to cut corners to make a profit. That means less security, less rehab facilities and because prison corporations are corporations above all, it means they're going to be lobbying for more and longer prison sentences. I suspect you and I would agree on what an incredibly stupid and short-sighted move for-profit prisons are.


My younger daughter, now in her forties, mentioned recently how many books and mags she read at an early age because they were all over our home. She read TRINITY by Uris in the sixth grade and challenged her anglophile, idiot teacher about what the Brits did to the Irish. Her heritage is about 1/3 Irish and 2/3 Brit.



Fair enough, we did some truly terrible things to the Irish and we are sorry for that. That said, we have made some efforts toward fixing them in recent years.


Youngsters from various backgrounds need parenting that fits them. Some youngsters and their families need social services and programs.



That's something which a lot of people don't get: There is no one-size-fits-all solution. Different kids need different measures.


EDIT: No, that's not true. There is one measure which would help in every single case: TALK to your kids. I know that's difficult when you have a demanding job or maybe two or even three and I know that your kid might try and shrug you off but really and truly, I have never seen a single situation where communication made things worse and many where it made things better. Always talk to your kids, even if it's just about stupid crap like what they're watching on tv or what they're reading. It all helps your kid think of you as someone they can relate to, confide in and count on.


Jane, that last bit wasn't directed at you. You just happened to trigger my memory.

He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God. ~ Proverbs 14:31

Fiat justitia, ruat caelum

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3 years ago  ::  Jul 12, 2011 - 12:09AM #24
jane2
Posts: 14,295

Jul 11, 2011 -- 10:31PM, Ebon wrote:


Maine and pieces, thank you and you're very welcome.


Jul 11, 2011 -- 8:36PM, jane2 wrote:

Those youngsters in the video were creating absolute havoc in the store. They weren't just pinching a candy-bar or a bag of chips. They were destructive and meant to be. This wasn't penny-ante behavior. Perhaps the mother who turned them into the police did the best she could under the circumstances.



As I said, I can't view the video because I'm stuck using my SO's PC for at least the next four days. To be honest, it's really impossible to say what their parenting was like.


What I do see is a lack of social services and sports and other programs. But that would raise taxes and no conservative would buy into that.



True, both would help no end. Social clubs, such as sports clubs, provide some sense of structure and, something else which is important to the teenage psyche, real measurable results that you can see happening (teenagers are often not good as long-range planning both from lack of experiance and because hormones mean they literally perceive time differently from adults). Church youth groups are often only open to members of that church and/or preach too much to be appealing to a teenager.


We now have private prisons for hire, for crying out loud : profit motive involved. I know more about this than I would want to.



Which, since the state already does prisons about as cheaply as possible, means they have to cut corners to make a profit. That means less security, less rehab facilities and because prison corporations are corporations above all, it means they're going to be lobbying for more and longer prison sentences. I suspect you and I would agree on what an incredibly stupid and short-sighted move for-profit prisons are.


My younger daughter, now in her forties, mentioned recently how many books and mags she read at an early age because they were all over our home. She read TRINITY by Uris in the sixth grade and challenged her anglophile, idiot teacher about what the Brits did to the Irish. Her heritage is about 1/3 Irish and 2/3 Brit.



Fair enough, we did some truly terrible things to the Irish and we are sorry for that. That said, we have made some efforts toward fixing them in recent years.


Youngsters from various backgrounds need parenting that fits them. Some youngsters and their families need social services and programs.



That's something which a lot of people don't get: There is no one-size-fits-all solution. Different kids need different measures.


EDIT: No, that's not true. There is one measure which would help in every single case: TALK to your kids. I know that's difficult when you have a demanding job or maybe two or even three and I know that your kid might try and shrug you off but really and truly, I have never seen a single situation where communication made things worse and many where it made things better. Always talk to your kids, even if it's just about stupid crap like what they're watching on tv or what they're reading. It all helps your kid think of you as someone they can relate to, confide in and count on.


Jane, that last bit wasn't directed at you. You just happened to trigger my memory.




My dad's mother had a Brit background and we as a family never discussed Britain's brutality, especially during the famine. I don't harbor any anti-Brit feelings. Our younger daughter just decided to read TRINITY as one of many books hanging around our house--probably a book-club selection. She is very astute and again rising in a new corporate milieu after her extremely well-paid rise in a housing industry in Southern California--she works harder than most can and I do wonder about the cost to her.


This whole prisons for hire makes me crazy. In the beginning they hired men who had served in the US Bureau of Prisons--we knew many of them as extremely decent men. That no longer obtains. The US Bureau of Prisons was led in the main but very talented men and later women. My husband wrote much policy on Inmate Programs for ten years in the eighties. Prisons for hire today have no such committment and talent. Few even know these prisons for hire exist and fewer care.


My dad talked and reasoned with me from infancy. We did the same with our children and this is also the case with our grandchildren, a savvy lot. My grandkids and I have chatted about many things since they were tots.


ya know I enjoy your input.


Jane


 




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3 years ago  ::  Jul 20, 2011 - 1:32PM #25
Merope
Posts: 10,168

This thread was moved from the Hot Topics Zone.


 

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3 years ago  ::  Sep 02, 2011 - 12:41AM #26
donnalou_ming
Posts: 1

It must have been difficult for the mother to have turned in her children to the police. Considering that it can have negative effects on their future, probably tagging them as juvenile deliquents thereon. I don't blame the parents of these kids for all their wrong doings since there are also other factors which may have triggered them to do such things, the wrong circle of friends, perhaps. 


As embarassing as it may seem, I find mothers like Kassy as inspiration because she didn't let her kids get away with any crime unpaid in spite of her love for them. It really doesn't mean that if you send your kids away to be reformed that you already gave up on them even if you consider this thought. Breaking the law is something grave, and those who do it should always be ready for the consequences. I hope the experience will teach these kids a lesson. 

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3 years ago  ::  Sep 10, 2011 - 8:06AM #27
jesusfreakgal
Posts: 938

DoNotinOz,


I pretty much agree with you. My brother, for the most part was a good kid and teen. But I remember 2 stupid things he did. Once, was when he was around 12 or 13. A few times he had just left our house to go around the corner to play at a friends house. No asking of mom and dad. Not even a 'bye mom/ dad. Going to Chris' house.' In a sense he disappeared. After my parents figured out where he went, he would call that kids house right away. Once, after being told more then once not to do that again (since he not only didn't get permission from our parents, he hadn't even been invited over), he did do it again. That day, my dad was supposed to take him to a toronto blue jay's game in the afternoon. Well you know what? They didn't go, and my dad wasted the tickets. My brother go to the point where he begged my dad to take someone and not waste the tickets. But my dad still did to teach him a lesson. He never did that again. The other time it was worse, and it involves my cousin too (same age they are). I don't know the full story other then they were in my dad's (previous) car, some nice car. Someone I believe drove it, and ended up hitting my dad's sports car (a mercedes). He wasn't too happy, and my brother now can never (well probably never at this point) drive his mercedes or my dad's boat.


JFG

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