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Sticky: Political Funnies
2 years ago  ::  Jul 21, 2012 - 4:23PM #721
TENAC
Posts: 25,168

Any man can count the seeds in an apple....
.......but only God can count the apples in the seeds.
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2 years ago  ::  Jul 25, 2012 - 12:23AM #722
Mlyons619
Posts: 16,414


He look familiar...?


 

"No freedom without education"
            --Thomas Jefferson

"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition"
            -- Monty Python
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2 years ago  ::  Aug 14, 2012 - 3:15PM #723
Cesmom
Posts: 4,594

Moderated by Stardove on May 16, 2013 - 01:32AM
Our need to learn should always outweigh our need to be right

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.
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2 years ago  ::  Nov 04, 2012 - 12:08AM #724
rangerken
Posts: 16,407




4 hours ago  ::  Nov 03, 2012 - 9:35PM #1 Report Post Edit Quick Reply Quote Multi-Quote





TENAC



Posts: 18,510






Just to keep it a little loose around here......

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,

"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.





She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican.

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama-Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are -- or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."


Libertarian, Conservative, Life member of the NRA and VFW
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2 years ago  ::  Dec 18, 2012 - 10:07AM #725
Cesmom
Posts: 4,594

Merry Christmas to you and yours!  :)


Our need to learn should always outweigh our need to be right

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.
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2 years ago  ::  Dec 19, 2012 - 7:49PM #726
Mlyons619
Posts: 16,414

Nov 28, 2012 -- 10:54AM, Unworthyone wrote:




Invisible humor...?

"No freedom without education"
            --Thomas Jefferson

"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition"
            -- Monty Python
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2 years ago  ::  Dec 28, 2012 - 2:19PM #727
Cesmom
Posts: 4,594

Any guilty Bnet posters out there?  lol



Our need to learn should always outweigh our need to be right

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.
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2 years ago  ::  Jan 04, 2013 - 12:52AM #728
TENAC
Posts: 25,168

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

Any man can count the seeds in an apple....
.......but only God can count the apples in the seeds.
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2 years ago  ::  Jan 04, 2013 - 1:04AM #729
TENAC
Posts: 25,168

Dec 28, 2012 -- 2:19PM, Cesmom wrote:


Any guilty Bnet posters out there?  lol






Thats funny. 


Sounds like southern grammar rules to me!

Any man can count the seeds in an apple....
.......but only God can count the apples in the seeds.
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2 years ago  ::  Jan 10, 2013 - 11:36AM #730
Cesmom
Posts: 4,594

Our need to learn should always outweigh our need to be right

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.
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