There have to be boundaries and rules for children; they don't know what is best for them. 

I posted PLEASE HELP ME yesterday involving my 7 year old calling me names and telling me he hates me because I try to instill some discipline and my husband doesn't.  The response to my post was interesting; I was called a "control freak" etc.  I don't know what these people's credentials are when it comes to child upbringing but I have been a teacher for years and I've seen kids hit their parents in front of me and speak horribly to their parents.  Do I want my kids to act like that?  I don't think so.

I just want what wants best for my kids and if I choose not to have my kids flying on a small plane then my husband should take that into consideration.  And a seven year old throwing a tantrum because I accidentally gave him the wrong colored cup is ridiculous.

Look at all these lazy  twenty year old slackers today with an education but who really don't want to work as hard as their parents do/did and think the world owes them somethikng.

So poo poo to the ignorant people who think letting your kids do what they want is okay!

I'll post my concerns else where; I hope all you people that posted negatively towards my post have mean rotten kids who nobody want to be around!

[QUOTE=Nadirah;34]I don’t feel that I’m spoiling my granddaughter by giving her what she needs as soon as I can. I don’t see the point behind waiting until a child becomes overly fussy and fretful when their patience breaks. I figure as she gets older she’ll understand that sometimes in life you have to wait. But I wonder at what point would it be considered spoiling her by giving in too quickly? Is there really a way to know that?[/QUOTE]
You dont and cant spoil a child by giving him/her what they need to live,and grow.

When spoiling comes into play is when or as the child gets older, I would say after infant stage where they begin to walk , talk and do other things that children do. This is where the I need or I want comes into play. If the Child needs something then give it to them. But where the I want and the gimme gimmes come in, one should teach the child it is ok to want but there are times when it is not possible to provide what he or she may want at that moment, be it a short of cash situation, you think it isnt appropriate that the child has it at that time, there are other children invoved in the household which giving this to that child will cause hard and hurt feelings with the other(s) or you feel the child doesnt need or deserve the item for any reason. If you give in to this childs desire in this type of situation it will eventually lead to the child thinking they will or should always get what they want no matter what it is and in turn "spoil" that child.
It is up to the childs parents, grandparents or whom ever the adult(s) in their lives may be to give that child structure, nurturing, care and other important guidelines to help the child grow and become the kind of adult they should be.
To never say no to a child is wrong and it causes severe difficulties in the end both with the child and the rest of the family along with the people they meet or will eventually meet.
So what I am trying to say to you, anytime you answer your granddaughters needs or demands which ever it may be you are affecting the future adult she wil become.. becareful to watch for signs of her starting to expect you to get or give her what she wants instead of what she needs, that way you will know when to say no and when to say ok here.

At the ripe old age of 18 months, kids are so easily distracted.  No, they probably shouldn't eat 3 bananas.  After one it can turn into a tickle-fest or a game of chase and the 2nd banana is no longer thought of.  Kids do need structure and rules but I don't think they need a "life is bad so just get over it" thinking either.  In the case of the 19 year old, he needs some tough love rather than being enabled.  There is a big difference between giving your children things they need to live than giving things to your children because you want them to love you.

[QUOTE=allegropiano;229263]I'm sure your an expert ....[/QUOTE]


Never claimed to be.  What makes you think that? 



Irene.