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9 years ago  ::  Nov 12, 2009 - 7:15PM #1
Posts: 2

Hi, I am interested in learning how fate readings work in Tibetan Buddhism.  My girlfriend is an asian Buddhist.  She just received a fate reading frmo a Tibetan Buddhist who said that we have no destiny together.  Now she is very upset about this and is talking about breaking up.  What do I need to do.  I personally don't believe that anyone can determine my fate but me.  Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.  Thanks.

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9 years ago  ::  Nov 13, 2009 - 12:56PM #2
Posts: 1,420
Hi Rx7ames,

It's really difficult when something ends like that and there doesn't seem to be any good reason for it.

You seem to be going from forum to forum trying to find someone who can tell you how to put the relationship back together. Unfortunately, I don't believe that anyone can do that. It's really up to your girlfriend. You may not think that she has good reasons, but you can't do much about the fact that she thinks she has good reasons. There's no magic formula that causes people to think the way we want them to think.

I know how you feel. Best of luck.
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9 years ago  ::  Nov 14, 2009 - 4:47PM #3
Posts: 973

Perhaps you might ask your girlfriend by what right may  the Tibetan Buddhist cast doubt upon your shared happiness?

If he is ordained, it seems an incredibly negative and irresponsible thing to say. If he is ordained, then his duty is to the happiness of young people.

And even if he is right, and that you are both incompatible, his knowledge requires him to guide you both to a peaceful and amicable separation, even to the point of his taking your shared pain and suffering caused by your separation, and giving you both joy in return. These are real exchanges of emotions and not imagined.

It is standard Buddhist Practice. When one knows that another person is suffering, one makes a silent resolution to take the pain and suffering of that person and to replace it with all of the joy in one's heart. It is a way of directing the mind towards the development of compassion.

In the same way, the Fortune Teller should know that he is responsible for his readings and the effects that they have on people, it is his karma that he is developing, also.

And if he is not ordained, the responsibility still remains with him to guide you to someone who can Teach you both how to end this relationship such that you both reach a stage where a 'Compassionate Separation' is required. It is essential for you both to reach a state of peaceful acceptance with a mutual attitude of no harm.

It is essential, that if your relationship is to end, then both of you should understand that it is not the  fault of either of you. Neither one of you is blameworthy for the ending of your relationship. In the Dharma, guilt is considered to be a moral weakness and a serious obstacle on the Path to Samadhi.

Happiness and its development is the concern of the Buddhist Teacher. In this respect, the Buddha taught the Metta Sutra for its development. The Development of Good Karma from Good Volition is also a part of that Practice. It may be helpful for both you and your girlfriend to read the Metta Sutra together to give you both an opportunity to evaluate what is at stake:

The Tibetan Fortune Teller shuld be aware that the goal of Divination is to assist in the search for Universal Happiness, and the Universal Development of Bodhicitta:

"This Site is Dedicated to the Development of Compassion, Universal Responsibility and  Enlightenment

"Great compassion penetrates into the marrow of the bone."


Nagarjuna's statement is a summary of the Tibetan Buddhist Path.


The reason for this is the Dharma. Everyone has a right to practise the Dharma for the realisation of Awakenment, aka Enlightenment. Severely traumatising someone by telling his girlfriend that she is not compatible with him creates disharmony and a serious obstacle for your happiness and well being on the Buddhist Path, and hers.




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9 years ago  ::  Nov 14, 2009 - 10:55PM #4
Posts: 2

Thank you so much for this responce.  I know that she is most disheartend by his responce and niether of us is happy right now.  I will look through the links that you provided and try and find a way to be happy because i am most distrought rigth now.

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9 years ago  ::  Nov 15, 2009 - 3:52AM #5
Posts: 973

For what it is worth:

I have been happily married for 35 years.

I have an Asian Buddhist Teacher. She is very well educated, a doctor by profession. One could almost say that Divination is her guide through life. Western people tend to see this stuff as mumbo-jumbo. She gives me the impression that she would not leave home without a fortune reading.

She advised me that a strict reading of the fates of my wife and I would show that we are not compatible for marriage. Yet, we have been married for 35 years. There is no reason to suggest that fate is going to ruin things for us. When I queried this, she replied that it just means that we may have found someone else more suitable, according to an astrological reading of our fates. She advised me that Karma can be a more important consideration.

In ths life, you and your girlfriend have shared good karma. You can build on that, overcome the fate reading. That is what the Buddha taught, we are the architects of our own fates. He never taught us to be the slaves of fate, helpless hostages to fortune.

The real purpose of Divination is to see the road ahead and to take appropriate action, before disaster arrives. Therefore, your girlfrind's fate reading can be treated as a Messenger from Heaven. You are aware of an incompitibilty, but, everthing is impermanent. You both have the power to change things, if you want to. 

 In affairs of the heart, Metta can be a powerful ally:

Metta Meditation

May I be filled with loving-kindness
May I be well
May I be peaceful and at ease
May I be happy

This is then repeated with the formula :

May ... girlfriend's name...

      be filled with loving-kindness
May... girlfriend's name... be well
May... girlfriend's name... be peaceful and at ease
May.... girlfriend's name.... be happy

May all beings be filled with loving-kindness
May all beings  be well
May all beings  be peaceful and at ease
May all beings  be happy

This may be repeated three times, daily,

Asian people believe that  if something is sincerely said three times, then it carries true volition from the heart, which means that one is in earnest.

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