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Switch to Forum Live View May Contrib & personal Crisis
9 years ago  ::  Jun 15, 2009 - 7:17PM #1
Posts: 25


 Greetings and blessings all,


I was invited to the Kaikan for the May contrib and the

National leader was speaking. I had to pay a friend

a 20 spot to drive me to the meet, and counted on

there being someone among the 100 plus members would

be willing to spot me a ride home. I was almost hounded

by a woman lead member from my district, to make a

contribution. She however was not swayed in the

least when I explained that I still needed to budget

my cash since I had not aligned a ride home. I

checked with many other members, in the

end I was left to walking the distance home.

 I live three communities away from the Kaikan.

The speech was about mentorship and disciple-ship.

Perhaps they could have devoted some time to

the concept of compassion.


 I am currently seeking to reconnect with my local hon. The leader of my local

hon is a man I had disagreements with during the very first meeting; I even

sought guidance on this.

 The reason I am reconnecting is to pursue 'a real life mentor' which I feel

I need since I was raise as an *emotional* orphan, neglected by parents.

 I have been struggling with emotionally the unhelpful nature of SGI, their

stand alone mentality, their zeal for contributions, and help only in making sure members

chant.  The tone is very 'cultish' by nature...even after 15 years I am finding it hard to

view this as being an organization of anything other than hypnotizing people

through the liturgy and chant.

 I really hope I can get your feedback on my challenges with seeking a mentor

and my disillusionment with SGI's focus on mentor disciple relationship in rhetoric

but not practice.






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9 years ago  ::  Jun 17, 2009 - 7:34AM #2
Posts: 138

Hola Littlebear -


I'm sorry to read that you are having problems with your sangha.  I hope that you will see improvements in your future.  Remember that no single sangha encompasses the whole of Nichiren Buddhism, and Nichiren Buddhism does not encompass the entirety of Buddhism as a whole.

Namaste, Engyo

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9 years ago  ::  Jun 19, 2009 - 12:16AM #3
Posts: 167

Hi, littlebear. Sorry to hear you are having problems with your local organization. My experience with SGI pioneers is somewhat similar. It took a certain type of mentality to do shakabuku as "A Stranger In a Strange Land", forgive me, Robert Heinline. Compassion is the most difficult human attribute to acquire. Some never manage to do so, except for brief periods of time, and others never exhibit it. "To start is easy. To continue is difficult." In today's economic climate, I can easily understand how many people are wrapped up in their own problems, but we Buddhists are supposed to develop compassion, in fact, that is the Bodhisatva cause that results in reaching the effect of Buddha wisdom in our life, just as we are. Rather than be upset with the cold reception you received, you should have pity on those who were unable to tap into their Buddha nature and lost some valuable time. This life is much too short to waste valuable time. Hang in there. You will find someone who "gets it."

Peace Smile

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9 years ago  ::  Jun 21, 2009 - 2:43PM #4
Posts: 25

Thank you Leguru and Engyo,


It is hard to have pity and compassion for them when I have been a member for 15 years,

& the person at the Toban was in my original Hon, and it was over a nine mile walk home...

.. just google mapped it. :)

 I spoke to "___" at my district hon who told me that I should not let that happen again,

but call him. He ' ll give me a ride.

HOWEVER, that solves nothing really. My 'beef' is that this is a karmic thing.  I have

this unsupport karma where people give me what I don't want or need, then neglect me

when I do ask. I have no idea what is going on or has been going on my whole life, but this

has been my theme since I was 3 yr.

 I am surprised and shocked I have lived this long with friends like this. I have been chanting to develop so that I am fixing all my faults for my disfunctional family but feels like i am  hacking wtih an ice pick against a glacier of issues.

 I tried seeking a shakabuku mentor in my area and the man that 'stepped up to the

plate' was one that in my early years of practice had (at a meeting of 30 people) blamed

Christianity for all my complexes, I told him straightly I did not like his statement  and wanted him to think about it. Over the next year every two months I asked him if he 'had thought

about it?" his answer was much like "huh, of course not".

 I don't need someone who has less thought about my feelings than the life of an ant he

stepped on as -a mentor-.

 I wish, pray and have chanted for over a decade for some way to overcome this mountain of insane upbringing I am battling. I don't even know where to begin? the self-sabotaging, the inability to sell my needs to even close friends and fellow members, the social fear, the addictions?

Such a life is not worthy of a Buddha (potential).




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7 years ago  ::  Jan 04, 2011 - 10:12PM #5
Posts: 2

You are expressing my problem with SGI as well.   I had a very bad experience with someone who has been chanting for five years.  He has a very good program.  But what he said completely lacked compassion, was cruel and racist to boot.  I'm supposed to take guidance, be inspired by this person?  I want to run as quickly as possible away.   It also bothers me to constantly see President Ikeda in the same sentence as mentor/diciple.  In no way will I ever worship a human but locals elevate him to an exalted position. 

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7 years ago  ::  Jan 13, 2011 - 2:22PM #6
Posts: 138

Hi, NYC DL -

Take a look at my reply to your other post (other thread).  It's just a suggestion.....

Namaste, Engyo

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7 years ago  ::  Aug 08, 2011 - 2:33AM #7
Posts: 3,458

This is not uncommon and it is too bad that it is shaking your faith-or that you are allowing it to.  SGI certainly has changed in the last 2 decades in my opinion.  And pushing the contribution issue is not going to help, certainly not in this (American) culture.


This is what I would say:  Buddhism is a personal path.  Nichiren Buddhism is True.  It is pointless to make a contribution unless it is heartfelt-so if you dont' feel it, please don't-it's just a waste.  When it is right, you'll know it.


Don't give up the truth for the mistakes of those who may have gotten lost in their practice or caught up in incorrect mentality.   Buddhism, THIS Buddhism is true.  The SGI is an organization, but it is not the Gohonzon.  Also-don't be careless about choosing a mentor, this chemistry is just as important as choosing a long term mate!   But the important thing is to connect to the Gohonzon, to the Daimoku.  Chant for these answers, sincerely-and you will get them.


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