Ani,

I was raised Catholic, made a side-trip into conservative Presbyterianism (might as well call it evangelicalism), then tried to reimmerse myself back in the Catholic Church.  By that time though, it had just become impractical.  When I tried to return, I found out how poorly I really understood the Catholic Church.  I think now that I had never really assimilated to Catholicism very well as a youth--very little of it had actually sunk in, and I base this on my experience trying to return there.

When I went back, I was open to exploring a more involved role in church life instead of being merely a "pew warmer."  An older man offered to get me into the Knights of Columbus, which sounded exciting.  I'd never had such a role in Catholicism before; I was never even an altar-boy.  But there was a problem: in my lapsed years, I had married outside the RCC.  This was evidently bothering some people greatly and it actually suprised me.  But I wouldn't have been surprised had I been steeped in the Faith properly or as well as some others.

I knew then that I had been gone a long time: I mean, I could really feel it, man.  I didn't even seem Catholic to myself, just some sort of cheap pretender or poser.  After a year of reflection, I began trying out Episcopalianism which is more logical for me.  I was a paltry Catholic anyway.  As it was, some of the Protestantism had sunk in: for instance, it was difficult to reject the concept of the "Priesthood of All Believers," even while I was finished with sola scriptura. 

I'm just saying I think I can sympathize with you a little.  Although the Catholic teachings are consistent and I think I can understand the rationale behind them, they are rigid and hard to follow.  My impression is that if someone makes certain decisions and has "a past," it can mean you have little future in the Roman Catholic Church later (but that's just life, anyway).  For instance, someone having an IVF child, or myself marrying an outsider: it can have an effect later on. My solution was to let the RCC go.

Hi Ani,

And welcome to this forum.  I was away, which is why I didn't respond sooner.

You are in a very difficult position.  Do you have a spiritual director?  This might be helpful, if you can find one.

I'm not sure how rigid is the Church's teaching on IVF.  I've not heard any public statements, and I know of a few cases known to priests, and the priests did not make any statement against it.  I don't think the matter will come up, so I personally would not mention it.  This is your child.  If you ever feel guilty, you could mention it in confession. The priest is bound by the seal of confession, even if you do choose face to face, so discrimination against you child doesn't seem to be an issue.

God bless you in your journey.

SuZ

If you were baptized Catholic and publically associate yourself with Catholicism and consider yourself Catholic, then YES you are.  If you have renounced your baptism and notified your bishop that you no longer consider yourself a Catholic, then NO you're not.  It's fairly straight-forward.