I have never heard of a baby dedicating ceremony - it really doesn't seem to jive with Catholic tradition at all. I think your only choices here are to hold firm to your beliefs or give in to your in laws; really isn't a middle ground between baptising and not baptising.

Hi,

I've never heard of a baby dedication ceremony, but I'm sure the baby could be blessed, if this is acceptable to all.  It is very accommodating of you and your husband to consider any service.

Your in-laws could ask their priest to bless the child and ask for blessings on the child.  This would not be anything formal or place any obligation on you or your husband.  God bless you and your family.

SuZ

Aug 13, 2011 -- 11:19PM, Evillynnstar wrote:

  

.................I don't know how baptism will change this, my  husband and I aren't going to give up our beliefs if she were baptized. I don't understand how that changes anything..............

Your inlaws are thinking of the grace of the sacrament.  However the priest (or anyone) should not baptise anyone against her will, and since the parents speak for the child, it is your will (as parent & guardian) that is to be followed.  Their needs to be a promise to raise the child in the Catholic faith for a baptism to be allowed.

Here's the Canon Law--

Can. 851 The celebration of baptism should be properly prepared. Accordingly:

2° the parents of a child who is to be baptised, and those who are to undertake the office of sponsers, are to be suitably instructed on the meaning of this sacrament and the obligations attaching to it. The parish priest is to see to it that either he or others duly prepare the parents, by means of pastoral advice and indeed by prayer together; a number of families might be brought together for this purpose and, where possible, each family visited.

And from the Catechism.

1231 Where infant Baptism has become the form in which this sacrament is
usually celebrated, it has become a single act encapsulating the preparatory
stages of Christian initiation in a very abridged way. By its very nature infant
Baptism requires a post-baptismal catechumenate. Not only is there a need
for instruction after Baptism, but also for the necessary flowering of baptismal
grace in personal growth. The catechism has its proper place here.

It would be very helpful if your inlaws could understand that it is wrong to baptise an infant when it is understood that the child will not be raised in the faith.

SuZ

Aug 14, 2011 -- 2:27PM, Evillynnstar wrote:

I'm sure they understand cannon law. I think the root of this is deeper than what it appears. They aren't accepting the that their son is not going to follow the same traditions as they did. They react I find by simply denying it. Since my husband did his confirmation they view him as a catholic and therefore cannon law is being followed. Us rejecting this concept is just us being rebelous.

 

I thank you again. I still have to try the suggestion of a blessing. Thank you again! :)

Canon law is NOT being followed, if the parents do not intend to practice Catholicism and raise the child Catholic. (you must be certain they understand this)  Their whole argumet falls apart once they understand this.  It would be sacrilegious to go through the motions of the sacrament with no intention of raising the child Catholic.

Honestly, I don't know if there is much you can explain to the, and this shouldn't be something you have to explain. I'm a firm believer in "deal with your own family" - so if your husband feels strongly about not baptizing your baby, he needs to be the one to speak up to his parents - otherwise it may look like you are the one pushing this as opposed to it being something the two of you both agree to. Besides, he should know the best way to approach his parents about this (or deal with them approaching you guys) since there are all sorts of family cultures about these things.

Catholicism is a very cultural and family based religion, and the sacraments are a big part of that culture. It's not just about connecting to God, but connecting to your family and connecting to a larger community, so even if the connection to a Catholic definition of God isn't there, there's still pressure to go through the motions enough to be part of the group - at least in a lot of families, what you believe is your business, but you better show up for the basics - marriage, baptism, Christmas and Easter, and if you don't you aren't just turning your back on God, but a culture and a community.

I'm not saying you should baptize your child - quite the opposite you need to make decisions based on your own beliefs - but I also think that arguing Canon Law or even trying to explain things will get you nowhere. Instead, just firmly stand your ground. Your in laws got to raise their children in the religion they wanted to raise them in, now you should have the freedom to do the same.