Regular readers here know that my church has been revamping its education/worship program for little kids; that we've basically scrapped the 19th century model of Sunday School and have instead gone to a homeschooling religious ed program for parents. Meanwhile we've retooled our Sunday worship in various ways to make it more little-kid inclusive. We did all these things in response to what young families told us were logistical problems with the way we'd been structuring our children's program before.

Theoretically I'm all for getting young families more involved in the life of our congregation and for helping little children feel that they too are important members of the Church, which they are. But practically speaking, I do not enjoy a lot of the "kid stuff" we've incorporated into worship; and my better half, a vet with PTSD, simply can't cope with the "Joyful Noise" service we're holding once a month, where the kiddos play rhythm-band instruments during hymns. So we've decided, as a family, that on Joyful Noise Sunday we'll go to another church...not as a protest; not because we're angry; simply because it's not a service for us; we're not in the intended demographic.( Last month we went to the Episcopal church where I meet with my spiritual director; it was a nice, peaceful service, and it's always fun to do a little "church tourism.")

I'm guessing that other churches struggle with a dynamic of trying to serve diverse groups of worshippers: young families; older adults; single professionals; immigrants/ethnic minorities within a larger congregation; "town vs. gown."  And I know from experience that it can be hard to do this without inadvertantly pitting one group against another.

Anyone else want to share some experiences about juggling different types of worship in order to serve different populations in one's congregation?

And -- is it okay to not want to attend church on a special Sunday that's just not my cup of tea? Is it better to take one for the team and represent, even though it doesn't feel very worshipful/meaningful to be there, or is it better to gracefully bow out on that Sunday and be a grateful visitor at another church?

PTSD is a very difficult affliction that can get triggered by seemingly random things. Better Half struggles with crowds and loud noises -- there have been instances where we've been grocery shopping at Meijer's (regional big-box store with a ginormous supermarket) on a busy weekend, and suddenly I've found myself all alone with a half-filled cart because BH became overwhelmed by the people and noise and had to run out of the store to the car and regroup...was sitting there shaking...I had to drive home. It's hard to explain that to people sometimes, especially when there's a perception that we're being snobby or antisocial.  (We like Holden Evening Prayer, BTW, because it's quiet and meditative.)

Tawonda

There's nothing wrong with going elsewhere for a Sunday when one's health is concerned. In my church in Nashville, we had some women who liked to immerse themselves in their perfume. On the Sundays my asthma was flaring a little I'd just use my inhaler. On the Sundays it was flaring a lot I'd just stay home.

Would the two of you be able to start an informal additional service, even if it was without the Eucharist? One that was quiet and contemplative in nature. Then your partner could worship without the risk of her PTSD being triggered.

Lynn

One of the problems with managing interest groups in a church is how much of a commitment to incluseiveness there seems to be. 

For example, since the founding of the ELCA,  the instrument of inclusiveness has been the imposition of quotas (60% lay/ 40% clergy/  50% female / 10% people of color or ESL) for all committees, task forces, assemblies, and other organs of the church institution. Quotas over-represent interest groups and under-represent traditional or monocultural leaders.

In a small congregation,  wanting to include all perspectives by being inclusive means subordinating all perspectives to inclusion.  While this may lead to the occasional gnashing of teeth,  it is one of the basic necessities of living in Christian community.

Based on the original post,  I have taken 'interest-group' to mean any collection of individuals in a congregation advocating for a particular type of action on the part of the church. 

For example,  in my home congregation we have some perpetual-volunteer types who have a great deal of say in the usage of our facilities when we house homeless families for a week at a time.  This has obvious implications.  Similarly,  there are some who like us to have 'family-friendly' worship services every third Sunday which has a wider impact on worship life than just that hour of worship.