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Switch to Forum Live View Considering joining the Quakers but...
3 years ago  ::  Dec 15, 2009 - 7:22PM #1
Slg
Posts: 4

OK here's the thing, I think the Quakers might be a group I would fit in with but I have three main concerns (and I'm very sorry if any of this offends anyone)


1. I'm a teenager and I would like to live the normal teenage life which includes some alcohol, possibly some pot when I get to college, and sex (all in moderation of course, I'm not a party girl)


2. I haven't had good experiences with Christian-based religions


3. In other religions it is often the norm to try to convert others around them, is this true of the Quakers as well?


thanks guys!


Sara

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3 years ago  ::  Dec 18, 2009 - 10:38PM #2
Intotheblue
Posts: 265

Hi Sara. I'm new to this too, but from what I've seen so far, it looks like Friends aren't interested in converting other people. They believe everyone must listen to their own inner light. There's another thread in this forum you might want to take a look at, where someone asked some similar questions. The one I was specifically thinking of just now was about Friends' view on pre-marital sex (no one who answered seemed to have a problem with it, as long as it's within a loving relationship, but I recommend you look at their actual answers). They also answer questions about swearing in music, homosexuality, stem cell research, and other sort of 'controversial', if you will, topics. I know what you mean about not having had good experiences with traditional Christian religions, but I don't think this is like them (and in fact it looks like, even though it has Christian roots, they don't really identify themselves primarily as 'Christian'). Someone please correct me if I'm wrong - like I said, I'm new to this too, but just from what I've seen so far...

Namaste.

.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

"It is not our differences that divide us, but our inability to accept and celebrate those differences."
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3 years ago  ::  Dec 28, 2009 - 10:02AM #3
kevin roberts
Posts: 28

Hey Sara and Blue-


There’s lots of Christian Quakers- the vast majority of people who call themselves Quakers are Christian and always have been. Generally it’s the Liberal, non-Christian, universalist Quakers who are unaware that there’s anybody else around. They are a minority.


Most Quakers can be termed “Pastoral,” and resemble Christian Protestant churches in faith and practice. You will find that they usually have typical Protestant attitudes—as a church—to social issues such as premarital sex, drugs and alcohol, and so on. They use paid priests and pre-planned worship services.


A smaller group can be termed “Liberal,” and is usually only slightly Christian, if at all, and occasionally is hostile to Christianity. They will usually express typically liberal social attitudes that reflect their close involvement with middle to left wing social, political, and environmental causes. They do not hire priests and practice waiting (or unplanned) worship.


An extremely small sub-group calls itself “Conservative,” meaning it claims to retain both the original Christianity of the early Friends (unlike the Liberals), and the original form of waiting worship (unlike the Pastorals). They have a broad mixture of social and political beliefs, and are harder to characterize as a group, perhaps, than the other two.


Quakers are very diverse, and no one group can speak for all of them, except to say that they will all be welcoming to anybody who visits or would eventually be interested in joining.

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3 years ago  ::  Dec 30, 2009 - 6:46PM #4
Intotheblue
Posts: 265

Thanks for the information, Kevin. Perhaps then, most of the folks who post here are more liberal? Or maybe I just haven't gotten to the more conservative/traditional threads? Dunno...


Could you explain to me a little about the differences between planned and waiting? Is waiting just like 'go with the flow', spontaneous, say whatever comes to mind when the moment arrives, type of thing?

Namaste.

.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

"It is not our differences that divide us, but our inability to accept and celebrate those differences."
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3 years ago  ::  Dec 30, 2009 - 9:34PM #5
kevin roberts
Posts: 28

Dec 30, 2009 -- 6:46PM, Intotheblue wrote:


Thanks for the information, Kevin. Perhaps then, most of the folks who post here are more liberal? Or maybe I just haven't gotten to the more conservative/traditional threads? Dunno...


Could you explain to me a little about the differences between planned and waiting? Is waiting just like 'go with the flow', spontaneous, say whatever comes to mind when the moment arrives, type of thing?




I don't know whether the folks who post here are Liberal Friends or not, Jan, but most of the ones I read here would probably classify themselves as Liberal.  One easy way to tell is this: If the Friend attends a "Friends Meeting," they will either be Liberal or Conservative. If they attend a "Friends Church," they will be Pastoral.


The earliest Friends rejected established church rituals and ceremonies, because they saw them as corrupted imitations of what should really be going on. They substituted what is called "waiting worship," which has no pre-planned sermons, readings, or songs, and is usually mostly silent while people wait to be led to do or say something.


The Pastorals practice "programmed" or pre-planned worship, which has a structure and content chosen in advance, like most churches: prayer, songs, readings, sermon, sacraments, benediction, exit . . . The content varies.


The Liberals and the Conservatives sit down without expecting anything specific to happen. After a while, a worshipper will feel led to say something, will say it, and then stop. Maybe someone will feel led to add something to it, after a while, or maybe not. Sometimes somebody will be led to sing, or recite poetry, or a scripture verse. Or not. Sometimes nobody says or does anything except listen, which is sometimes what is supposed to happen. Sometimes too many people think they have something to say, and nothing gets the attention it deserves.


Unprogrammed Friends differ on where they think the messages they deliver come from. Some Friends believe that it is God who provides the message from outside, while others believe the message comes from somewhere inside the individual.


There are also atheist, or "non-theist" Friends, who can be pretty complicated to talk to.

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3 years ago  ::  Dec 30, 2009 - 9:49PM #6
Intotheblue
Posts: 265

Thank you for elaborating on that topic. It's much clearer now. I myself don't believe in a 'personal' God, so I suppose you could call me non-theist. I don't discount the possibility of it, but I don't actively believe in it either, so in that way I'm more agnostic (which is what I prefer to identify myself as, regarding theism). May I ask, why do you find non-theist Friends complicated to talk to?


If anyone thinks this conversation should be moved to a new thread, just say so. I don't want to derail the topic of this one.

Namaste.

.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

"It is not our differences that divide us, but our inability to accept and celebrate those differences."
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3 years ago  ::  Dec 30, 2009 - 11:07PM #7
kevin roberts
Posts: 28

I think this board is pretty easy-going on thread content. Seems so, anyway.


There's lots of theist religions or philosophies without a "personal" god. Theistic Buddhism, or orthodox Hinduism, or Western deism. God exists, but is detached from the world. Some non-theist Friends fall into that category.


I don't speak for non-theists, but in general non-theistic Quakerism seems to be a rejection of traditional views of god, up to and sometimes including atheism, while embracing the practices that theistic Quakerism created for explicitly theistic reasons. Some non-theists do believe in God, of a non-traditional nature. One reason they are difficult for me to understand is because they do not seem (to me) to have an ultimate foundation underlying their beliefs, in that little is asserted, but mostly much is denied. In other words, they might assert the existence of right and wrong or of good and evil but deny any reason that I can understand for how they can do so that isn't derived internally, and therefore is nothing more than opinion or preference (to me). Some will say that pain and suffering is bad, and to do good is to do whatever decreases pain and suffering. Some are relativists, some are not.


This is a good source of information about them, that will give better answers than I can:


www.nontheistfriends.org/


In my own opinion, non-theistic Quakers hear the same God I do, and respond to the same divine urgings that I do, and are led to the same moral system that I am, while carefully trying not to acknowledge that source. They might consider what I just wrote to be patronizing.


How do you define "agnostic?" It has unusual and very carefully-worded definitions among people who do not believe in God, many of whom call themselves "agnostic" while positively asserting that God does not exist.

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3 years ago  ::  Dec 30, 2009 - 11:29PM #8
Intotheblue
Posts: 265

No offense but I can see why some people might find your view, as stated, patronizing. I'm sure there are some people to whom it might apply, but definitely not all. I make that assertion with such surety because I am one of those people whom you seem to misunderstand. I'd be glad to explain what I mean if you're interested in my personal clarification (remembering of course that I represent only my own beliefs, though I know there are others out there who share in them, but not everyone).


Thank you for asking about my defintion of 'agnostic'. It's one of those words that people tend to have varying definitions of, and I find it always preferable to ask for clarification rather than assume. My definition is the same as the literal translation from its Greek origins (though it is a fairly recent word, the person who coined it used Greek words to create it). www.thefreedictionary.com/agnostic defines it better than I can. An excerpt:


Word History: An agnostic does not deny the existence of God and heaven but holds that one cannot know for certain whether or not they exist. The term agnostic was fittingly coined by the 19th-century British scientist Thomas H. Huxley, who believed that only material phenomena were objects of exact knowledge. He made up the word from the prefix a-, meaning "without, not," as in amoral, and the noun Gnostic. Gnostic is related to the Greek word gnsis, "knowledge," which was used by early Christian writers to mean "higher, esoteric knowledge of spiritual things"; hence, Gnostic referred to those with such knowledge. In coining the term agnostic, Huxley was considering as "Gnostics" a group of his fellow intellectuals"ists," as he called themwho had eagerly embraced various doctrines or theories that explained the world to their satisfaction. Because he was a "man without a rag of a label to cover himself with," Huxley coined the term agnostic for himself, its first published use being in 1870.


For me, it means lack of belief either way. I don't believe God exists, nor do I believe he/she/it doesn't exist, and same with afterlife. I don't believe we can know such things. Thus, a-gnostic. By contrast, an atheist does choose a definite stance: "There is no God." And of course theists firmly believe there is a God. Hope that all makes sense...

Namaste.

.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

"It is not our differences that divide us, but our inability to accept and celebrate those differences."
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3 years ago  ::  Jan 01, 2010 - 2:52AM #9
kevin roberts
Posts: 28


Hi Jan-


Thomas Henry Huxley is one of my favorite biologists. When evolution through natural selection was explained to Huxley, his response was to say, "How stupid of me not to have thought of that." He was a very interesting man, as were Aldous and Julian.


I'm very interested in what you have to say about your beliefs. "A-gnosticism" when defined as the assertion of a lack of knowledge, or of a non-assertion of definitive knowledge, is also how I define the term. It is very different from the definition suggested by many other folks, who will say that the default position of a lack of knowledge is disbelief, in that if one cannot tell whether a glass contains contents, then the correct conclusion is that it is empty. These people will say that the lack of satisfactory evidence (to them) for the existence of God is proof that God does not exist. They carefully distinguishing themselves from atheists, who also don't believe in God but do it on the basis of faith.


Quakerism asserts that it is possible to know whether God exists, through the same methods that existence is examined anywhere else: direct experience. It was the reliance on direct experience rather than written records or church authority that originally defined Quakerism-- nothing was to be accepted until it had been personally demonstrated or experienced. To try to claim ownership of discoveries of other people was to profess to a knowledge that one didn't have, and to perhaps ignore the knowledge that one was being taught.


Because there are no written or enforced creeds in much of Quakerism, there is a great deal of flexibility in what different people consider satisfactory or correct interpretations of God. This is both good and bad: good, because we make the attempt to let God speak for himself in whatever way he considers appropriate, and bad, because it permits a great deal of shallow and murky thinking to persist for a long time.


Please excuse me if I sound obtuse. I drive a truck for a living, and I've been up now for 23 hours while the shop has tried to fix a wiring problem. I live in the truck, and can't go anywhere else until they're done with it. Too cold outside.

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3 years ago  ::  Jan 02, 2010 - 7:32PM #10
Intotheblue
Posts: 265

Oh my goodness! I hope you're not in the northeast. I live there, just a 20 minute drive to Canada, and it's about 5 degrees right now. I see that post was 2 days ago, so I hope you were able to rest and finish your trip safely.


That's interesting. I know what you mean about the pros and cons that approach might result in. Being Taoist, I can very much appreciate the importance of experiencing something for oneself. The very first words of the Tao Te Ching, in fact, are, "The Tao that can be spoken is not the true Tao." That is, you can't define the divine in words, or explain it to other people, and expect them to understand it as much as they would if they experienced it themselves. I mean sure you can describe your own experience, and they might understand to a degree, but it is certainly no substitute for direct observation/experience.


As for agnosticism, I don't know if I clarified this before, but I'm agnostic about a personal divinity. I most definitely do believe in 'something', even if I don't understand all its properties. I try to remain always open and seeking to experience it more fully, to be more at one with it, and thus 'understand' it better. I don't like the word understand, actually, because to me it has the connotation of being scholarly, intellectual. I don't mean that kind of understanding, I mean the spiritual kind, the connection, experience, inner knowledge you can't put into words... that kind of 'understanding'. So while I am on that path of discovery, I can't assert one way or the other about a 'personal' god, though I admit I am skeptical of it. From both my intellectual reasoning and my spiritual experiences, I feel it is improbable that the divine energy is of the individual/personal variety.


That's just me though, and I'm fully open to the possibility that I might be wrong. But that's the thing about 'choosing' one side or another, one religion among thousands - you're casting dice in a gamble - if one religion does turn out to be the 'right' one, that means billions of people will have chosen 'wrong'. So for me it's more important to listen to the inner... well, what I call Tao, but everyone has a different name for it, and I've heard many Quakers call it the inner Light... and do what you can to bring balance to yourself and the world around you. And even then, I think it's important to have the humility to know that even what you experience might be mistaken. I know I've thought certain things about the divine before, and then later felt something different. The divine itself probably didn't change, but my perception did. Therefore I think we should be careful not to become too rigid and proud in our decisions about spirituality. And that's why I tend not to make concrete decisions, but rather I lean toward one probability over others, keeping in mind all the while that I might lean in another direction at some point, and that's fine, that's the ever-shifting way of life as we gain experience and wisdom.


EDIT: Also I find it interesting to learn about  new scientific discoveries which validate things I'd already considered as possible. They seemed purely supernatural or spiritual or whatever, before, but then I learn it might actually be scientifically real, and that's exciting to me. Just a little side note, on the topic of how we learn about the mysteries out there, for lack of a better term.

Namaste.

.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

"It is not our differences that divide us, but our inability to accept and celebrate those differences."
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