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Switch to Forum Live View Honour Thy Father and Mother
6 years ago  ::  Nov 25, 2012 - 11:24PM #1
Posts: 938
I understand completely honouring ones father and mother within reason, and that one is not required to 'honour' them if it requires going againt the Lord. But what about times where a requirement is made (in relation to honouring one's father and mother) that conflicts with another commitment? Here is an example. A friend gets engaged and asks you to be their made of honour (say 6 or 7 months before the wedding). You accept and planning (for three months) begins, including the venue for the day being booked and bride's maid's dresses being bought (by the brides maids/ maid of honour). After the three months your mother/ father comes and tells you to keep x date clear (the date of friends wedding), as there will be a surprise (or not) anniversary celebration for your grandparents (with venue being booked). In relation to honouring our parents, would we be required to forgo the friends wedding? What if that friends wedding was in another country and you could not get a refund on the cost of the trip? Also, what do you believe the purpose of the command to 'honour thy father and mother' is?
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5 years ago  ::  Nov 27, 2012 - 3:24PM #2
Posts: 11,795

Honor your father and your mother  ...4th Commandment of the Mosaic law?

Deuteronomy 5:16
‘ Honor your father and your mother,
as the LORD your God has commanded you,
that your days may be prolonged and
that it may go well with you on the land which the LORD your God gives you.

Jesus confirms all the Mosaic Commandments except: "..remember the Sabbath..." ?
SEE: Matthew 19: 16-22 and Matthew 22: 37-40 (Love God + Love Self)

Ephesians 6:2
HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise),

Hebrew 3513 ~=kabad  ~= love, care for, respect?
Greek 5091~= timaƍ ~= love, care for, respect?

To me, this is God's "pecking order"...
1. God
2. Spouse = "one flesh"
3. Parents = first family unit + 4th Commandment confirmed
4. Siblings = first family unit...brethren
5. all other blood relatives = family
6. neighbors / friends
7. neighbors / enemies / world

Talk to #3 + #4 together!...LOVINGLY Work something out!

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5 years ago  ::  Nov 27, 2012 - 6:32PM #3
Posts: 9,234

This sounds like a failure to communicate.  Had all parties been on the up-and-up, there wouldn't be so many "surprises".

Knock and the door shall open.  It's not my fault if you don't like the decor.
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5 years ago  ::  Nov 27, 2012 - 6:51PM #4
Posts: 8,652

The purpose of the commandment was to reinforce family loyalties in a tribal society and thus ensure that elderly people would be cared for rather than abandoned -- or in its own words, "that your [own] days may be long".  Look after your parents when they need you, and in turn you can expect your children to look after you when you need them.

You are describing a difficult "Dear Abby" sort of situation in balancing two conflicting social expectations, but I don't think the Ten Commandments really apply.  Grandma's feelings may be hurt, a little, but she won't die any sooner.

"To substitute Scripture for the self-revealing Spirit is to put the dead letter in the place of the living Word." Sebastian Franck
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5 years ago  ::  Nov 28, 2012 - 12:02AM #5
Posts: 5,267
What Smcisaac said. A situation like this isn't about a commandment so much as keeping a prior commitment. There's nothing wrong or unbiblical about going to the wedding, especially given your role and that you've already paid for everything.
More where that came from...

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