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3 years ago  ::  Mar 01, 2012 - 8:11PM #1
rideronthastorm
Posts: 5,782
what does anyone think of BDSM? it stands for Bondage discipline sado masochism according to wiki. Many people have scared me off of it telling me tehres alot of crazys and serial killers who pretend to be male dominants and are trully monsters underneath. truthfully in real life the Craigslist killer, according to the movie it says at the end where policeman are telling his fiance the things hes involved in that he has a profile with a fetish websight .


Technically though looking in the bible, is there really any scripture against it? Ive read alot of articles at fetlife and I see many people up there who claim not only to be Christian but conservative Evangelical Christians,Christians who belong to conservative churches.   Some of them arent even open enoguht o really say GLBTs are ok, but eyt they go along with BDSM. The thing is I dont think tehres any actual scripture condeming it. if you claim its abusive tehres alot of BDSmers who ahve been practicing their whole lives and havnt gotten into any pyiscial problems because of it or they claim no abuse.Some Dominant males and females claim to only be into bondage which includes restraint ie...........ropes and handcuffs tieing someone down only which doesnt cause harm, or some of them claim to only be spankers only............into spanking and they use paddles or maybe their hands its lite enough that nothing ever crosses the line of abuse.


The second part of this thread of BDSM is a lfiestyle that I file under BDSM that Ive seen on talk shows by some Christians who use it, they come from different denominations, and their arent very many out there but some Pentecostals and also like Mennonite and dress code type Christains may tend to fall into this category more so then other Christians. Its the submissive lifestyle for women, women who choose to be in a  submissive position with their husband where he makes ALL of the descisions regardless food meal planning unless he tell sher to do it he may even tell her what to wear and how to fix her face in the morning and she decides that its Gods will to never ever say no to him no matter what and that the bible claims that women should submit to everything including sex at all times no matter what.


THIS IS 2 topics here, I feel like some BDSMers might be offended by putting these both up here     but I fear if I make 2 trheads out of it someone might complain theyre too similar so Im putting them both up here.


Does anyone have any opinions on either one of these topics?   


I personally as a Christian feel like BDSM can be used as beneficial for certain personality types, sometimes it can be used to have the dominant person of the relationship to give out discipline and discipline can be learned  and acquired by someone who may have very little discipline.I dont understand what bible scripture there is that disapproves is there any?
 
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3 years ago  ::  Mar 01, 2012 - 9:15PM #2
Beautiful_Dreamer
Posts: 5,161

BDSM doesn't appeal to me, but I don't have any Scriptural basis against it. As for abusive-are both of the parties consenting adults? Is anyone *forcing* anyone to do anything? I would think that if something is done to someone against their will (or they are forced/coerced to do something they don't want to do), that would be wrong. Other than that, I don't know.

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3 years ago  ::  Mar 02, 2012 - 2:00PM #3
Mostyn32
Posts: 2,941

Considering that Jesus admonished us to treat others as we would want to be treated, I'd say that bondage/discipline/sado-masochistic practices would be off limits for Christians of any stripe, regardless of their personality type. Demeaning behaviour/attitudes belittle others!


And don't get me started on husbands who control every aspect of their wives' lives. That's not love! In my view, marriage is a partnership of equals, and both partners should endeavour to serve the other. Male dominant marriages are not Christian as far as I'm concerned. Again, it goes back to the nature of love as described by Jesus (and there's a reason why I Corinthians 13 is a favourite reading for wedding ceremonies).    

"God is no captious sophister, eager to trip us up whenever we say amiss, but a courteous tutor, ready to amend what, in our weakness or our ignorance, we say ill, and to make the most of what we say aright."  from 'A Learned Discourse on Justification', a sermon by Richard Hooker (1554-1600).
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3 years ago  ::  Mar 02, 2012 - 4:05PM #4
SeraphimR
Posts: 9,638

SM is becoming the latest taboo to fall, now that homosexuality has been mainstreamed.  All that feminist stuff has unnaturally surpressed women's desire to be dominated.  How else to explain the hottest fiction circulating among the NYC mommy set?


Fifty Shades of Grey


New paperbacks are selling on Amazon for $229


TEC better get on the stick (as it were) or become irrelevant.


People with a mission to save the earth want the earth to seem worse than it is so their mission will look more important.


P.J. O'Rourke
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3 years ago  ::  Mar 02, 2012 - 4:21PM #5
smcisaac
Posts: 7,953

Mar 2, 2012 -- 4:05PM, SeraphimR wrote:

All that feminist stuff has unnaturally surpressed women's desire to be dominated. 



Thanks for the chuckle on what had been a pretty tedious Friday afternoon.

"Truth did not come into the world naked, but it came in types and images. The world will not receive truth in any other way."  Gospel of Philip, Logion 72

"Christ will regenerate all things; through Him all things will be purged, and return into eternal life. And when the Son shall deliver up the kingdom to the Father, all things will be God; that is, all things will still exist, but God will exist in them, and they will be full of Him." Fabius Manus Victorinus, c. 350 AD
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3 years ago  ::  Mar 05, 2012 - 8:20PM #6
Goyboy
Posts: 232

What a married man and his wife do in the privacy of their own bedroom is nobody's business but their own. Besides, the Bible says nothing about BDSM.

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3 years ago  ::  Mar 06, 2012 - 8:47PM #7
rideronthastorm
Posts: 5,782

Mar 2, 2012 -- 4:05PM, SeraphimR wrote:


SM is becoming the latest taboo to fall, now that homosexuality has been mainstreamed.  All that feminist stuff has unnaturally surpressed women's desire to be dominated.  How else to explain the hottest fiction circulating among the NYC mommy set?


Fifty Shades of Grey


New paperbacks are selling on Amazon for $229


TEC better get on the stick (as it were) or become irrelevant.





Well I think it possible to be feminist and womans liber and be dominated at the same time. to me it seems that alot of men fall either under Mamas boys or dominant personality, weather they claim it or not, many men and people dont claim to be either me and my sister talked about this this weekend and she said she thinks many women tend to lean towards being submissive and many men tend to be dominant by nature but she asked why do i feel the need to be drawn to people who seem to need to label themselves as dominant and she thinks its a sign of someone whos dangerous. but I told hewr this.


Im getting out of a 2 year friendship relationship with a guy who never claimed to be kinky although sense Ive been interested in this he seems to be interested in dominant male but hes not dominant infact in my book he seems to ne a Mamas boy, Im fed up with it and sick of it. personally Id rather date dominant males then risk dating another Mamas boy.


 


But ive dated and been ina  physical relationship with 2 men in the UU church and my Universalist church is Wiccan a girl power church, both men Ive dated has this to say about womens lib and their relationship with me. One of them use to have sex with me and never took me out to eat once or spent one dime on me; My last of 2 years guy spent some money on me but treated me cheap and has quite often required me to pay for myself. This is what they have to say about money and the girl power femininst part of our relationship. They say if I were more positive and respectful of myself and more of an independant lady and powerful and had more confidence and more of a girlpower spirit Id love not having a man spend money on me girl power yada yada yada-------------Let me tell you my official opinion of that.


First place my old sex lover  never had any money and uh just misused me for sex didnt have any interest in me personally was a rattle snake who used me so his whole uh attitude about not spending money on me was a bulls&*t lie to get away with using me like  a peace of meat period hed come by my apartment do it leave.


 Number 2 when men dont spend money on me quite often they want me to spend money on them because they are con men, there are way more con men then con women so I think the  men should be responsible with all the cons out there and pay for a womans date. I have to take precautions for that and one way to do that is to ahve him pay. Number 3 I have no money to spend on dating if a man does it goes to be the norm for them to be the spender,like I said qute often men who dont want to spend money on me dont want to spend time getting to know me either, theyre the ones who generally want to come by my apartment wham bam thankyou mam; and misuse as a meat source. So yes I require a man to spend money on me, it doesnt have to be alot. I can be inexpensive Ill even go with a fastfood place but money has to be spent sorry I dont buy the womens lib answer for that, and personally i think its BS! Most male doms like to spend money on their women so.


I have no car and am partially dependant on my family although I have my own apartment, its not reasonable nor realistic for me to want to date someone who isnt financially pretty independant; and someone with their own car and their own money and its rediculous to expect me to. Nope hes got to have his own money and his own car his own place in this economy its a must. 


SO THATS JUST ONE TINY ASPECT OF this whole male dominant womens lib issue with me, sense Ive had it thrown in my face by 2 UU men of recent Im actually not in a good place with my UU church like I said-some of its just uh Bulls78t sorry.However I know thats just 2 mens attitudes not my whole church soThere are other personal issues I dont want to go into but sense you broguht up the feminist part just thought Id throw my 2 cents in sorry if it offends,.



 


 

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3 years ago  ::  Mar 08, 2012 - 11:13AM #8
Beautiful_Dreamer
Posts: 5,161

I'd suggest starting a new thread on this, but I'm not sure where it would go. Honestly I'd love to see at least one discussion about how men should behave that doesn't turn back and blame the woman..."If you were a better XYZ, then I'd spend more and treat you better." That's just a really nasty thing to sayto someone! The blame game is stupid, no matter which direction it goes in. 


Rider, when you say 'Mama's Boy", what exactly do you mean? I ask because I've dated guys who were close to their mothers and took care of them when needed, and then I've dated guys who were in their mid to late 20s whose mothers treated them like teenagers. The moms mean well, but I'm really glad that life with my husband isn't like Everybody Loves Raymond* the way it would have been with some of the others.


Anyway, I'm glad you aren't dealing with these guys anymore. You deserve much better! 




*In case anyone hasn't seen that show, the main character and his wife lived across the street from his parents and were into everything they did, often to the wife's annoyance. It's a cute show, too bad it's not on prime time anymore!

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3 years ago  ::  Mar 08, 2012 - 11:16AM #9
Beautiful_Dreamer
Posts: 5,161

Mar 2, 2012 -- 4:05PM, SeraphimR wrote:


SM is becoming the latest taboo to fall, now that homosexuality has been mainstreamed.  All that feminist stuff has unnaturally surpressed women's desire to be dominated.  How else to explain the hottest fiction circulating among the NYC mommy set?


Fifty Shades of Grey


New paperbacks are selling on Amazon for $229


TEC better get on the stick (as it were) or become irrelevant.




Wow, that sounds like *quite* the book! 


When I think of 'domination' in BDSM terms, I'm thinking of domination in the sexual arena only...is that right? I'm not familiar with BDSM. Feminism doesn't touch that, at least I don't think so.


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3 years ago  ::  Mar 08, 2012 - 10:52PM #10
rideronthastorm
Posts: 5,782

Ok well this is one of those situations where in anger Ive revealed abit much about my situation however i dotn think Ive gone too far out here so im gonna leave it up. I doubt many people are reading this anyways. im going to answer you Dreamer but Ill be ginger, I wont reveal too much.


 


Ok why am I so turned off by these men and what makes me feel like Im being their mother and why turn to male doms?


Ok first place I do love my guyfriend whos going back to Colorado and Ill miss him.However without going into too much.


1. baby motions and noises in our intimacy, he likes doing that YUCK!Its like he wants to be my child in my arms so definitly hes the ltitle baby when hes being intimate. When id crawl up into his arms on the couch when we made out and Id try to lay in his arms and go to sleep or just breath with him, hed get agravated push me off him and tell me I was going to sleep, he wanted to be the one to crawl into my arms and go to sleep.


In his defense I never spoke of it, so i dont blame him for it, Im not claiming to be a victem Im not angry about it ,it just turned me off.


2. The money, he payed for me in the beginning but began to require to pay for msyelf and sometimes for part of his as well.He like to make independant speeches about women, look at what i said about money above for those reasons I disagree with it-it doesnt make me his Mommie, or maybe it does when I spent money on him yea it made me feel motherly, but its opposite to what most male doms do. Ive been told by them they like to take care of their subs so.To me its not very responsible or manly.


3. Ive told him about this and weve fought about it some. But although this has nothing to do with being motherly it does with male dominance. He, started out in this friendshipa s a Polyamourous person telling me I  wasnt his type and that if he fell in love or found someone better that hed drop me. He also let me know I was better then nothing, he was a luke warm lets do it youll do type of attitude with me. To top it off He has always chased after young women let me know how cute they were and that I wasnt his type and that he thinks a younger woman is better suited for him and made me feel old for him.Uh how old is he? Hes 58 and Im 45, he looks like santa Clause some people have told me looks old enough to be my grandfather, hes dated many women younger women on friendship dates none of them want him and he wont quite, he thinks a 25 or 30 or 20 year old is appropriate for him and frankly Im too old and fat Im NOT HIS TYPE IN HIS WORDS! Sense Im so obviosuly way to old for him, yea I feel like he looks at me like a mother figure definitly.He asks other women out while hes with me on dates sometimes and makes plays for them.


 


Before anyone talks about him being a jerk, I made the descision to stay in this friendship all this time


 knowing his behavior is like that. My self esteem is obviously low with men.But Im no victem, I decided to put up with it. In some ways I dont think him being a jerk is his fault, because personally i believe hes an alchoholic.Hes 58 got diabetis, and alchohol I think is affecting his mental abilities, so i love him as a friend regardless. Hes had a hard time driving, weve had a bunch of near misses near accidents,hes also had a few incidents where he had to call emergency because of his blood sugar being too high. So I dont think hes thinking staright. I think he needs to go back home with his sister, regardless of what I said about him doing what his sister says, I mean sometimes she does come off as wanting to be his caretaker but I have to back upon that because truthfully i think he needs a caretaker: So I wasnt being fair when I said that, Im glad hes moving in with her, Im worried about him and his driving and all that. I think he needs to quit drinking.


 


If he saw this post hed react with "Im Polyamourous asking other women out is not bad and I agreed to that" Thats true but I just wished hed wait till hes not with me to do it,it makes me feel inferior.I guess he feels like if theres someone hes attracted to he may not run into them again he has no choice to make his feelings known. But the thing is, that he has never ever once gotten anyone to take him up on going out that way, women see that hes with me and they think hes rude,NOW THATS JUST MY OPINION AND MY IMPRESSION.I could be wrong.My sister says she thinks hes socialy slow although intellectually speaking hes a genius.


 


Anyways back to the alchoholic thing, hed also say that Im pointing a finger at him when the truth is Im the one whos been doing all the drinking.Its true Ive gotten drunk with him a bunch of times and I have wine at my aprtment right now, it helps me with my stomach problems. My Mother is concerned I could be turning into an alchoholic,however at this point Im not having any consequences. I seem to be able to turn it on and off, in other words I havnt had any withdrawels or gotten the shakes or any hangovers or had any other consequinces. All be it my blood sugar has been high this year as well so. But nothing that affects me dramatically so right now Im not doing anything about it.


Anyways back to the responsibility thing, Ive made some bad bad descisions with him and gotten drunk with him and maybe Im at fault for him getting drunk some,I dont think Ive been good for him. But being with an alchoholic 58 year old man that I have to grab his hand wake him up make sure hes good enough to drive walk him out of restauarants so he wont get dizzy stay with him after we eata nd drink awhile wait till he gets sober enough to drive to go home, YEA IT DEFINITLY TENDS to be like Im being his Mommie.I do not ever ever want to be in this situation again taking care of an older man who thinks he really should be with a 25 year old girl and sees himself as a college student and drinks too much YUCK!~



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