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3 years ago  ::  Sep 04, 2011 - 11:24AM #1
answerseeker
Posts: 28
So yesterday was my birthday.  My ex husband took me out.  We have been divorced 3 years but got back together 6 mos after our divorce and tried to work things out.  Recently we split up again and I am moving out I less than 2 weeks.  I am seeing someone else on the down low (out of respect until I move out) but ex and I still care deeply for each other, although for me it is not romantically any more.  For him it is.  So last night we went to dinner and a movie, had a good time, etc.   we get back to the house and he tries to put the moves on me.   I didn!t want it at all.  I just haven't felt that way about him in a long time, so I begged off.  Well before I drifted off I asked myself what happened?  why did I lose those feelings?  I swear to you in the middle of the night a voice in my head told me, "because he used to be your brother.". I kid you not!  And it made such perfect sense.  I had romantic feelings for awhile, and I think it was so we could have our son.  Now I want to explore this!  Just crazy. 

Oh. And the reason I did not go out with my new guy is because he has the flu.  :(
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3 years ago  ::  Sep 06, 2011 - 6:46AM #2
DotNotInOz
Posts: 6,833

Neither weird nor surprising to me. A "voice in my head" is how I've gotten quite a lot of past life info.


The question becomes whether or not you wish to learn more about such bits of info.

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3 years ago  ::  Sep 06, 2011 - 1:05PM #3
answerseeker
Posts: 28

You know I thought about this all weekend.  When I look back on when I met him, I wasn't even attracted to him.  In fact, he was annoying me.  We were on a military deployment to Saudi Arabia.  I had just had a very exciting fling with a French Air Force guy.  Found out he was married, so ended things. He left SA, and I met my now ex-husband while I was doing laundry.  I did NOT want to speak to anyone. I had headphones on and was reading a magazine.  He came up to me and asked if I wanted to come outside and play cards with him and his friends.  I said, "no."   Later he came and asked if I wanted to smoke.  I don't smoke, so I told him no.  Later, he asked, "Do you want to just come out and talk to me?"  I was SO annoyed but I did.  We hit it off, but I wasn't attracted to him AT ALL. I didn't find him unattractive, I didn't even consider him romantically (ha ha..kind of like a brother ironically).  It was definitely meant to happen though because we were from the same base in the U.S. and lived down the street from each other!  I left SA before he did.  When he came back he came to see me in my office. I barely remembered him and was kind of rude to him.  5 min after he left my office, my gay friend R called me and asked who the hot guy was looking for me (I used to work with R in a different office before I came back from deployment).  SO I said, "You think he's hot??"  Only in that precise moment did I see him differently. LOL!    But yea...I can see how he was my brother for sure. I think we were just meant to have our son. 

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3 years ago  ::  Sep 07, 2011 - 7:09AM #4
DotNotInOz
Posts: 6,833

Well, I don't know about any of that being "meant to happen."


But then, I'm a believer that we make our choices in life. Thus, you could easily have told this man when he approached you a third time, "Didn't I make it clear that I'm not interested?" Or, you could have gotten up and gone elsewhere before he came back again.


You might well never have become involved with him had you chosen not to do so and stuck with that choice.


Even if as some believe we make agreements before birth to meet in life and form relationships with certain others, we always have the choice to refuse to get into those relationships for whatever reason.


So, that's why I'm saying you chose to get involved with your ex. I don't think some cosmic force decreed that it would happen. You may, of course, believe differently.


The only really important issue would be "What did you learn from the relationship?" Exploring that on both a personal this-lifetime level and a spiritual one is what's useful, IMO.

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3 years ago  ::  Sep 07, 2011 - 8:34AM #5
answerseeker
Posts: 28

Dot, truthfully I am still learning what I believe!  I do think that we have free will, but I ask myself why I decided to be with him.  I guess I know the answer.  He was nice, and safe.  The French guy was dangerous!  I chose the path of least resistance. It wasn't a bad ride though.  Had a lot of good times.  But the "spark"?  It was never there.

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3 years ago  ::  Sep 07, 2011 - 2:59PM #6
DotNotInOz
Posts: 6,833

Sep 7, 2011 -- 8:34AM, answerseeker wrote:


Dot, truthfully I am still learning what I believe!  I do think that we have free will, but I ask myself why I decided to be with him.  I guess I know the answer.  He was nice, and safe.  The French guy was dangerous!  I chose the path of least resistance.


 


So, sounds like you learned something about yourself on a this-lifetime level. Any thoughts about a possible spiritual significance for the relationship?


Not that there necessarily is one. Sometimes, of course, we get romantically involved with people we've no past life connections with so that we can branch out and learn new things in life. The most complex relationships, however, often have a past-life component, or so I've found. 


I also think there's something to the belief that we tend to get involved with people with whom we've had past-life relationships. Interestingly, a psychic once told me that the reason why my relationship with my father was so difficult was that we'd been unhappily married in a past life. He was trying to be closer to me this time around, and I was resisting in part because of a below-surface recollection of how unpleasant that past life together had been. That actually made sense to me and explained a lot of the stresses between us which fortunately we were able to resolve somewhat before my father died.



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3 years ago  ::  Sep 09, 2011 - 8:42AM #7
answerseeker
Posts: 28

I have learned a lot about myself in the last 2 mos alone!  Something is definitely going on with me now as far as the universe is concerned! Lots and lots of changes.

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