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Switch to Forum Live View In Urgent Need of Help/Reading
7 years ago  ::  Dec 10, 2007 - 10:00PM #1
steelpoet
Posts: 72
I'm posting here because I really don't know who to talk to without sounding like a nut. I'm certain that my family is cursed. Since I was born, so many bad things have happened to us. Too many to list here. I could write a book on the things that have fallen apart and gone wrong. It seems almost every year around the holidays a major tragedy strikes this household. Recently this included the murder of a close friend, other years it included financial woes that led to little/no food in the house among other things.

Today, I get home to learn that my mother has lost her job. She began a new job just a few weeks ago and it was to be a very good thing for us. She left one job where the money wasn't enough to make ends meet to land this current job where the pay and benefits are excellent. They promised to "work with" her and help her learn the ropes, then out of the blue she was fired today by a higher-up who simply didn't like her. Today was also the day I learned that I will no longer have a job myself. This is because I'm in college and will be taking up an unpaid internship which requires me to stop working. So, 2 women with no jobs, all in one day. I have no idea how we're going to keep a roof over our heads now.

For the past few years I have been struggling with incompetent and uncaring staff/faculty members in my college messing up my paperwork and coursework, causing me hardship at each step of the way in working towards my degree. It's to the point I want to quit because I'm afraid I won't be able to graduate due to such errors. No matter how much work I put into it, there are always extra obstacles that present themselves. In fact, the harder I work, the slower my progress! I'm ready to throw in the towel.

My point is, EVERY time things start looking up for this household, tragedy strikes. This has happened so consistently that when good things come along, I am consumed with anxiety. It's as if I can set my watch to it. I almost wish for nothing "too" good to happen because we WILL pay the price one way or another. This family has lived with illness, poverty, a broken home, violence, you name it for many years and it escalates every time we try to fight it. Perhaps a state of perpetual suffering is our place, and these events occur when we need to be put back into "our place".

Can somebody please do a reading or try to explain why we are cursed/being punished by some higher power?  Will anything change in my future or is this it? I can't take much more stress at this point.
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7 years ago  ::  Dec 12, 2007 - 9:03PM #2
steelpoet
Posts: 72
Thanks so much, redhead.

Much of your reading was quite accurate, especially the part about me being independent to the point of rebelliousness despite my mild-mannered ways. People find this side of me shocking, but it's out of necessity that my independence developed at an early age.

As for the whole learning lessons thing, I must have been crazy to pick an earthly life this full of constant hardship! It was rather disheartening to learn that tough times are ahead, but obviously they are or else I wouldn't have started this thread. I guess I'm getting tired, is all. Tired of jumping from the frying pan into the fire and back. This heartache had better pay off eventually. I can't see myself going through the rest of my life with things like this constantly happening. Interesting how my username reflects this lifelong theme of steel being forged in a great fire of tribulation...

I am relieved to learn there's no curse on my family. My mother used to affirm this to the point I got sick of hearing it, but here I am, affirming the negative when the sh*t hits the fan.

I had to laugh when you warned me not to "poo-poo" the Light meditation, because that was exactly my thoughts before I read that line! I've been receiving many reminders of the Light these past few months. It'll be difficult and counter-intuitive to my usual thinking but I will do this.

I'll be thinking of this reading frequently in the coming weeks and seeing how things pan out.

Blessings,
steelpoet
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7 years ago  ::  Dec 15, 2007 - 9:06AM #3
BeerLover
Posts: 1,339
[FONT="Georgia"][COLOR="Sienna"]SteelPoet, I actually pulled cards for you Wednesday night, but never bothered to start the write-up.  No matter, despite the crazy screen name, my memory is sufficiently intact to remember you got Stress, 7 of Fire (now there’s a surprise), Silence, Major Arcana 17, and Laziness, 9 of Water (which doesn’t at all imply you are lazy).  No big themes jumped out at me, we will work from Stress and view the other cards through it. 

Not a big surprise here.  From the book, “The quality of stress represented by this card visits us all from time to time, but perfectionists are particularly vulnerable to it.  We create it ourselves, with the idea that without us nothing will happen, especially in the way we want it to.”  Then Osho goes on to talk about how all private goals are “neurotic.” This goes in with the theme of “drifting down the river of life-“ no need to struggle or expend effort to make things anything but how they are.  I think that’s Taoism, isn’t it?  Personally, I disagree with Osho.  Nothing good in my life has come without great struggle and sacrifice.  Drifting along has gotten me nowhere.  He does have a point in that you can get too caught up in caring.  Sometimes it is better to just let go.  Of course, if it’s your mother or others you love dearly, staying calm and serene while they endure great hardship is just....  cold.  It’s one thing to say, “Sorry man,” and get back to being calm.  A true friend will be right down there with them struggling side-by-side to get overcome the latest disaster.  So, where was I going with this??? Let’s move on.

Silence, Major Arcana 17 is a great way to combat Stress, and another big theme in Osho’s world.  This card is the first in a whole series about looking inward for the great truths of your life.  Silence is all about non-action- seek the silence within, where the silence within meets the silence of the universe.  It is a way to connect to the vastness of the universe.  Some, like myself, would substitute God for the universe.  Sometimes when I meditate and actually manage to quiet my mind, the only voice left is the voice of God.  Only in silence are the great truths revealed to me. 

I have often wondered why some people or families have really bad luck on such a consistent basis.  I know a woman with multiple health problems.  She has been fighting a losing battle to keep her leg.  Her knee was bad and after several operations, she had an artificial knee put in.  The artificial knee didn’t graft properly to the leg and a post-op infection complicated matters further.  Long story short, she was looking forward to having her leg amputated above the knee and being done with all the trouble and she broke her femur.  There is the law of attraction, but I refuse to believe people attract all this trouble into their lives, there must be another explanation.  Maybe the law of averages says there will be a few really unlucky sorts out there.  The question of “why” is a valid one to explore, but it doesn’t help you out in the here and now, SteelPoet.  No, there are answers in Silence, if you can get there.

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7 years ago  ::  Dec 15, 2007 - 9:12AM #4
BeerLover
Posts: 1,339
[FONT="Georgia"][COLOR="Sienna"]

Finally we have Laziness, 9 of Fire.  At first glance the character on the card seems to have it made, sitting there with his robe, slippers, sunglasses, and mixed drink.  Who of us wouldn’t like to be in his shoes?  But he is decidedly uncomfortable.  The past is pushing up against him as shards of broken glass and his future (the black and white tiles) doesn’t look to hot either.  So he stays in his chair, too paralyzed to to move.  And that’s where you are, My Dear, paralyzed with a sense of hopelessness (or something similar).  The future doesn’t look too appealing no matter which way you look.  No solution seems to be right.  I just went back and skimmed through Redhead’s reading for you.  What was striking was all the court cards- Kings and Knights especially. You got the King and Queen of Swords (representing among other things, intellect).  You have such strength it seems you should be able to change the world.  But you can’t.  Maybe that’s the message of this read.  Despite the all the wonderful gifts you were endowed with, despite your powerful intellect, you cannot change or fix everything.  Lots of things are out of your control.  That would explain Stress, and also being paralyzed right now.  Pull back a bit, seek the silence.  Be thankful for all that you have.  One thing I neglected to mention about Laziness is there are no walls, no barriers except the man’s own fears.  No, the immediate future does not look so good, but what is past the horizon?  If you look closely there is a bird flying way up in the sky.  What does the bird see?  Now is a time to get up and start walking toward the horizon.  You can’t see with your eyes or deduce the future with your great intellect.  It’s time to have a little faith. 

I think that’s the point of the read.  It’s hard to stay focused with clingy, hyper boy running around, demanding my attention, but I think that’s the gist of it, let me know if it has the ring of truth for you.  Maybe it’s not even useful, “Have a little faith? What kind of advice is that?”  It’s what I have to offer this morning.

Hope this helps,
BeerLover[/COLOR]
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7 years ago  ::  Dec 15, 2007 - 12:10PM #5
windwizard
Posts: 748
Steelpoet
I realize you do not know who I am -- however Beerlover does so hopefully I too will be offering some light shed for you....{as well I generally come to this board only when 'drawn' as I tend to be busy skipping round down the road! *smile}
Now before I even got half way through the first post on this thread I was brought to feel a sense of negativity at the root of all that ails you my dear.  It is truly important to start with a positive outlook each day when you wake and hang onto it as tightly as you can for negative bequests negative and thus a very rocky and sad road. 
I also note you were asked to start enveloping the while light upon yourself and those whom you love.....very good idea as well.
Two very thoughtful and insightful readings you have gotten here dear one, and I do hope you take it to heart so that life can inturn bring more sunshine into your heart.

Love and Light ^0^
~~WIND~~
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 05, 2008 - 2:09PM #6
steelpoet
Posts: 72
Oh my God, I had no idea I had another reading waiting for me! I'm glad I finally stumbled upon my old thread to see this.

BeerLover, your reading is uncanny in its accuracy. You described my attitude to a "T". I am the intellectual one in this household, always analyzing and thinking...and believing that by intellect alone I can make everything better. I've always been a tenacious fighter. I think my life circumstances made me that way. If something goes wrong, I feel I need to force it to be right. I've never been a person of faith, much to the consternation of my mother. My faith went right out the window along with any kind of superstition years ago and now I see that I have to find a way back to that place (if it ever existed to begin with).

Thanks for the readings and words of support.

Many blessings,
Steelpoet
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 05, 2008 - 7:50PM #7
bombshell
Posts: 27
steelpoet-
  I totally understand where you are comming from- at times I have felt that my family is cursed as well... strange things happen- when things start to look up something is bound to happen to turn them around- somethimes it is more than I can take.. I try to have faith that things will work themselves out- one of my personal projects this year is to try to look for the silver lining in things and to let everything run its course- if it is meant to happen it will if not then something or someone better will show up in due course- I have spent far too much time and energy trying to force things or manipulate them to be the way I want them or think they should go- I am comming to terms with the fact that this does not work! it just delays the inevedable- I need to have faith and trust that there is a plan out there and things will unfold the way they are supposed to- my way of dealing with things is just causing me additional unwanted stress which I can do without- trusing the universe and being open to diffrent possibilities seems like an option where I would be much less stressed and more at peace with everything.. not sure if this helps you at all but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone and if you want to talk to anyone about this I can totally realate
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 06, 2008 - 3:56PM #8
christie
Posts: 58
would love if you could take the time to do reading for me please. Thank you  Redhead tried to e-mail but dont know how to contact you.  Thanks once more.
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 08, 2008 - 11:41AM #9
BeerLover
Posts: 1,339
"My faith went right out the window along with any kind of superstition years ago and now I see that I have to find a way back to that place (if it ever existed to begin with)."

Steelpoet, thanks for getting back to me.  And thanks for the affirmation as well.  Usually I write out the whole interpretation without really knowing if I'm on the right track or not, I just write.  I didn't quite know what to make of Laziness on the heels of Stress. Yes, have a little faith- work hard and use all your gifts, but don't despair.  Faith really has nothing to do with God or organized religion.  Yep, that's right.  Faith is an expectation.  Faith is expecting an outcome better than your skeptical mind projects.  Faith is a the radical belief that the universe is not truly random.

Here is my illustration of faith:  You are alone in the dessert dying of thirst.  You come across well with an old-fashioned pump.  Inside a compartment is a quart jar of water and a note.  The note says, "Welcome to this oasis.  Pour the water in the jar down the pump to wet the seal at the bottom.  Then pump like crazy.  After about ten minutes you will have all the water you want.  don't forget to re-fill the jor for the next traveler."

I think the part of faith people don't fully embrace is that "pump like crazy" part.  Having faith is not passive, it can be a great struggle, but if you don't lose faith, you will eventually prevail.

Fight the good fight Steelpoet, and have a lttle faith it's not all in vain.  Finding god?  that's a whole other story.

Christie, maybe this advice is good for you as well.  I regret that I don't have time for a reading for you before your surgery.  We'll see what this weekend brings.

Peace,
BeerLover
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 08, 2008 - 10:13PM #10
christie
Posts: 58
Thank you i will wait for your reading and appreciate you so very much. My surgery is in the morning, but i know God is with me. Tons of love to all.
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