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2 years ago  ::  Feb 04, 2012 - 7:31AM #1
Trio
Posts: 2
There is very little I believe in. I do not believe in the gods of religion. I retain some belief in a source of life or tao. I cannot say whether that source is personal or impersonal. I have found that I cannot believe what I don't no matter how hard I try. I can only pretend.

I am not well in my mind and wish that soon my body will follow. I have no intention to purposely end it all. Life is too harsh and no matter how much I've believed it will get better, it never has. I am too tired to live now. My days are as though I'm filling in time till I die.

I barely survive with making a living and coping with that is overwhelming. My ex will not relinquish my property and keeps it all for himself and with each passing year it becomes more difficult for me to get it back. I am so tired. I lost my relationship and home as well as my career and my energy to build a new one. I have no family of my past. I also lost my chance to have a family of my own mainly due to the selfishness and deceipt of my ex. I no longer trust anyone. I'm afraid to go out. I am alone. There is no justice. I always worked hard and strived to be my best, to have integrity and to remain positive. Now I have next to nothing. I have tried to make a new start but setbacks leave me exhausted.

I ask for prayer for justice and to restore my energy and will to live. I ask it from you because I don't believe.

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2 years ago  ::  Feb 05, 2012 - 4:05AM #2
Trio
Posts: 2

I had thought often over the preceding months of there being a sign that there was something out there and that sign would be that it whould snow. There has been no snow all winter but almost immediately after I posted this request here it started snowing. Part of me explains it away as coincidence. It's a big enough coincidence. I wonder that my importance is anywhere near enough to warrant such a big sign that it should snow just for me. Perhaps it would have snowed anyway and my mind was primed by that force out there to know it as a sign and my actions prompted at just the right time. Who knows? I want to believe it's a sign.


In any case, I felt a little warmer inside during the day and had a little energy to take some actions that might improve my living situation and even found a song that made me smile. Thank you if you prayed for me. It's a constant struggle to be able to get up off the ground after being knocked down (even by small things these days) so if you feel inclined to continue I am grateful.

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