www.bbc.co.uk/nature/life/Helix_aspersa    (for info on the sexual nature of snails)

Snail 1: ". . .so I said, 'hey joe I've been the female all week, it's my turn to be the male!' and, can you believe it? Joe says, 'Go Fu%k yourself!'
Snail 2: "so what did you do then??!!"
Snail 1: " uh. . . wha? oh, so i did!! and now I'm expecting a litter of mini me! and joe has to go there, says not to expect any help with the kids because I did it all myself!!"

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www.news-medical.net/news/2006/10/23/207...