Just a refresher of my previous assertions this thread is about my feelings not what I think i can have. Sadly the woman i am in Love with I am pretty sure doesn't feel that way about me, she's just a really nice woman who has been very kind to me and is a friend . . . which friendship i am very grateful for and appreciative of.

A wise woman told me that I worry too much. . . but,

surely I don't want to tax your patience?!

Because i love you,

I get shy tongue tied and sometimes my mind just goes blank

when I am near you,

because my feelings

march right in and overthrow my mind!

On the other hand,

do you have any idea

how devilishly hard it is

to excuse myself and walk away from you when you are right there

in conflict with my feelings 

which gravitate toward you??!!

I'll give you a hint,

like moving a mountain!

So here is a prayer:

Lord,

loosen my lips,

my heart,

my soul,

to be more freely me

because i want this woman to know 

the real natural me

not the overcome by feelings,

dumbstruck or

self-conscious me,

and grant me the wisdom to know when it's time to go.

I've never been the jealous type

but when I saw you there on the bench talking with 

him, with them

I felt a pang of jealousy

and I guess, truth be told,

I have every time,

with all of them.

Don't misunderstand

I am not insanely jealous

and if you were mine 

I would certainly not 

wish to cut you off from other people

actually if you were mine 

I probably wouldn't feel jealous 

if i knew you loved me,

I guess because of the way I am

I fell for you instantly that first day

when you arrived

and in that moment

every other woman

in the world

fell off the radar.

I want moore

the woman of my dreams

the woman I love

the woman I adore!!

each one delightful... ahh sweet love !