I love her

She is my heart's desire

she set's me on fire

with love's flame

since she came into my world I have not been the same.

I love every little nuance I learn

brighter in my heart the flame of love does burn.

A little jealous?

yes I am

but I guess the truth

is the truth

I may be no more special

to you than them

perhaps, this is what

makes my heart ache

a bit when I see

you sitting and talking with them.

I guess I have to go on living,

too many people are counting on me 

especially my child

Loving you has been a hard one

because I'm not sure how much or if I even matter that much to you

and I'm not sure you're the kind of person who would continue

to care, if you did,

if I am not good at containing my emotions when I am miserable!

and i'm not.

so maybe you saw or heard me not handling this well on Friday,

Friday I was living in hell,

because I was afraid you didn't like me anymore,

and if you saw or heard you probably don't ,

so I'm in a really bad position now,

I have to go on living but I'm going to want to die

if I see a look in your eyes that says

I don't want to be talking to you,

tomorrow,

I can't afford to quit my job,

but it's going to be a terrible struggle not to cry and to stay away from you,

 cause it's

ALL  

about you and how I feel about you

it's not about anything else.

but I'm caught between a rock and a hard place,

I would never be rude to you but I'm going to do my best

to not come looking for you,

because I don't want to run away from work crying off to kill myself

not fair to the people who are counting on me.

2/24/11

I am dreaming 

and in my dream

I am a goat

a goat you talk to sweetly

a goat that get's

the treasure i wish for. . .

kisses from you.

2/24/11

I always crave your company,

but as working life would have it,

some days are a feast

and some days I am savoring the crumbs.

I have a job to do,

and so do you,

but I so love the times

when fortune smiles on me

with more of you!