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Sticky: Open your mind, the search begins here............
4 years ago  ::  Jun 16, 2010 - 5:59PM #121
dreamie1966
Posts: 230

Hi Teej:)


If you have the time, I would love to have you take a look into my path.  It has been a rough year for my family having lost my mother to a massive stroke in October and many changes have occured. Would you mind taking a walk with me and seeing if things are looking up? Oh and if I am ever going find that certain someone.....lol, it get's hard sometimes raising a family alone;)


So, I give Teejers full permission to look into my path.


Thanks :)


Luv & Light


Dreamie

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4 years ago  ::  Jun 26, 2010 - 5:10PM #122
Cookielover
Posts: 3

Hello and Blessings to you Wind for the work that you do in helping others. I can see by these posts that many people come to you looking for guidance, and I'm afraid that I am looking for some myself. Firstly though, I happily grant my permission for you to examine my life path and thank you for doing so.


My situation is one which has gone on for the better part of my life, and I am in my mid-forties now. It's difficult, and involves my relationship with my mother. She is not in my life at present, but the emotions surrounding the reasons for this are very much present; in particular, guilt and concern.


I have been verbally abused by my mother for most of my life. As an adult, I felt that this would subside because I was a grown woman, married, and most of the time, lived outwith her "reach". Unfortunately, this has not been the case, and for at least twenty years, she has continued to attempt to manipulate and drag me down into her very negative way of thinking. This has involved angry outbursts, lying, emotional blackmail, and in some cases, down-right nastiness.  She has alternated between being over-generous with gifts, and then cutting me out of her life, or saying thinks like, "I wish you would just F"*@- off and die".


Because she is my mother, and I myself am imperfect, I have tolerated this behaviour over the years. In addition, she has had some pretty serious health problems develop over the past five years, and though I have not lived near her, I did not want to abandon her either.


The situation is very distressing to me- I believe that she has serious mental health issues. Were these to have simply appeared in conjunction with the physical, I could deal with that, but her bad behaviour is nothing new- After an incident two years ago, I made the decision that I had had enough. I felt her negativity was sucking the life out of me and I don't speak to her anymore. I do however, feel like a bad daughter, and as someone who is supposed to be a Christian, that somehow I am not living up to that title very well.


That said, the thought of her being in my life again fills me with utter dread, such is the emotions that arise when she is in my life- I find I am always waiting for the next "bomb" to drop. I also feel as though I didn't deserve to be treated in the way I have been. I guess what I am looking for is some insight into the situation as a whole, and perhaps some better methods of dealing with this guilt despite what I think are perfectly rational reasons for not having her in my life.


Your help would be very greatly appreciated.



Kindest regards


Christine

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4 years ago  ::  Jul 10, 2010 - 11:16AM #123
vtigerlilies
Posts: 65

hi Wind (((HUGS)))!!!  boy, it has been a long time since i have been on this website!  i thought that i would peek in and send greetings to you and all here.  blessings and light.  vallie

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