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Switch to Forum Live View I am Spiritually LOST...
5 years ago  ::  Dec 29, 2008 - 10:03PM #1
AEDPoet22
Posts: 6
Hello. I'm fairly new to this site and I'm still trying to get an idea of how things work around here. I am completely lost spiritually. I believe in some Christian beliefs and some Pagan beliefs as well. I just don't know where I fall or what to do. I've come to realize I believe in not only God but also in the Goddess. I've realized that there is a balance to everything so of course when it comes to deities, it also has a balance, at least to me it does. I believe in prayer, going to church and recieving a word from God. But I only go to church when I feel like God is compelling me to do so. My boyfriend is an open-minded Christian. He is open to some of my beliefs even if he doesn't share them. But spiritually I'm confused. I don't know if I'm more of a Christian or a Pagan. I believe in candle burning and burning insense and things of the sort but not so much as performing rituals. I think if I knew more Pagan people that I could learn from, then maybe I could maybe choose that as my religion but in my area, there aren't many that I know of. I want to learn more and I'm not sure if I'm writing in the right place. If someone can redirect me then that would be very helpful. I guess I can say I need a teacher or a mentor. Someone to help me learn the pagan ways. I think if I have a better understanding of it, then I might be able to relate more. I only know so much from self-reading and self-research. If anyone can help, please let me know. Thank you.

~Many Blessings

P.S I also took that "What Type Of Religion Are You?" quiz and it came up Pagan... SO yeah... I need some help.
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5 years ago  ::  Dec 30, 2008 - 8:30AM #2
Chiyo
Posts: 5,799
AEDPoet;

Hey there. Just wanted to jump in here a second and say; the vast majority of people the world over actually practice two different religions at the same time. Don't feel like you have to pick just one. For example, it's a common saying that Haiti is 80% percent Catholic and 100% Voodoo. And if you google the words "Christo pagan", you'll get 57,600 entries in response.

In other nations, such as Japan, you'll see that some folks practice both Buddhism and Shinto. Here in America, there are a lot of folks who combine Zen and Christianity.

There's a wide mix the whole world over.


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5 years ago  ::  Dec 30, 2008 - 12:05PM #3
Kindred322
Posts: 80
I am one who has walked a very similar path. Raised Christian but Pagan at heart and finally converting to paganism later in life.

First, what is your understanding of being lost? Lost doesnt have to be a negative thing...it was in my experience, negative at first but I soon realized that lost meant space. Freedom. The opportunity to let go of all the "learned" "internalized" "introjected" "socialized" religious beliefs of childhood and to truly open up spiritually. Lost can mean the beginning of your spiritual journey. No one is ever truly lost. You are where you are. (very zen but true).

Second, if you are experiencing distress in feeling lost. What is your expectations spiritually? To be lost would mean we would have to have an idea of where we should be or want to be.

Let me see if I can simplify...I have a tendency to be esoteric at times. What I mean is that finding yourself spiritual must start with examining your beliefs (ie what you personally have found to be valid and what you have accepted from others as "truth"). Clarifying your beliefs from taught beliefs is always a good start. Remember, there are always "blind spots" in our lives which we are not aware of...so keep asking "why". Lastly, I think we all have some preconcieved ideas about what we want out of a spiritual experience...what does that look like for you? Define it, examine it, question it. Above all else...make a commitment to look for the "truth" in any shape or form it may present itself to you. That way you are fully open.

Know Thyself before Knowest Religion

Blessings.
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5 years ago  ::  Dec 31, 2008 - 4:48PM #4
AEDPoet22
Posts: 6
I'm just confused. I really want to have a christian base in my life. I believe in certain things in the bible, and with other parts I don't. I can't say I know the bible well but I do have a good enough concept of it. Whenever I'm compelled to go to church, I always receieve what I need to help me for whatever I'm going through but I don't always go to church. I'm sort of afraid that my pagan beliefs might go against my christian beliefs. I don't worship false idols because I believe in my heart and soul there is a God AND a Goddess, even though with Christianity you're technically only supposed to worship God. I read about "White" baths that I want to start trying. I believe in purifying myself at least once a week. I don't believe in fornication. Like I don't believe in the concept that having sex before marriage is a sin. I also don't believe Jesus was a virgin. I believe he had a family, how else could he be a role model for man? I believe in burning candles as a form of sacrifice. Uhm, I'm not really sure if this answers any questions. I just know I want a Christian base in my life and Paganism as a form of expressing myself spiritually. I believe in private prayer and worship more than going to church every week. I understand church is supposed to help me learn and understand the Word more but I don't always recieve a message when I go every week. That's why I rather go when I feel that God and Goddess is compelling me to go. I sometimes shop at the Botanicas, which is usually a Santeria shop. I believe in palm reading, tarot card reading and anything that is divination. I am still learning how to read tarot cards but again, I feel I need a teacher to truly understand. I've been raised to understand christianity, even though I feel I still have a lot to learn in that area too. I guess you can say that I need teaching. I feel like if I understand Christianity and Paganism more, then I can mold them to fit my needs. And I know that Paganism has more than one sect, as well as Christianity. I can say at least as far as Christianity, that I fall into the Baptist part of it. I love the hooting and hollering and dancing and going crazy in church lol. But as far as Paganism, I'm not sure if it's Wicca or Santeria that closely fits me. I'm just not sure. And there aren't many wiccan stores around here so it's hard for me to find like-minded people. Oi..I hope I made myself clearer. If not, let me know.

Many blessings.
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5 years ago  ::  Jan 01, 2009 - 1:41PM #5
pilahawaiian
Posts: 452

AEDPoet22 wrote:

I'm just confused. I really want to have a christian base in my life. I believe in certain things in the bible, and with other parts I don't. I can't say I know the bible well but I do have a good enough concept of it. Whenever I'm compelled to go to church, I always receieve what I need to help me for whatever I'm going through but I don't always go to church. I'm sort of afraid that my pagan beliefs might go against my christian beliefs. I don't worship false idols because I believe in my heart and soul there is a God AND a Goddess, even though with Christianity you're technically only supposed to worship God. I read about "White" baths that I want to start trying. I believe in purifying myself at least once a week. I don't believe in fornication. Like I don't believe in the concept that having sex before marriage is a sin. I also don't believe Jesus was a virgin. I believe he had a family, how else could he be a role model for man? I believe in burning candles as a form of sacrifice. Uhm, I'm not really sure if this answers any questions. I just know I want a Christian base in my life and Paganism as a form of expressing myself spiritually. I believe in private prayer and worship more than going to church every week. I understand church is supposed to help me learn and understand the Word more but I don't always recieve a message when I go every week. That's why I rather go when I feel that God and Goddess is compelling me to go. I sometimes shop at the Botanicas, which is usually a Santeria shop. I believe in palm reading, tarot card reading and anything that is divination. I am still learning how to read tarot cards but again, I feel I need a teacher to truly understand. I've been raised to understand christianity, even though I feel I still have a lot to learn in that area too. I guess you can say that I need teaching. I feel like if I understand Christianity and Paganism more, then I can mold them to fit my needs. And I know that Paganism has more than one sect, as well as Christianity. I can say at least as far as Christianity, that I fall into the Baptist part of it. I love the hooting and hollering and dancing and going crazy in church lol. But as far as Paganism, I'm not sure if it's Wicca or Santeria that closely fits me. I'm just not sure. And there aren't many wiccan stores around here so it's hard for me to find like-minded people. Oi..I hope I made myself clearer. If not, let me know.

Many blessings.



You will NEVER find the Kingdom of God in a Church or in any Religion, The Kingdom on God is within every Human on Earth and beyound, and the Kingdom within looks just like the Kingdom of God in Heaven. Anything less is Bulls*^# or some dumba$$ belief by the liers of all liers MAN.

The Kingdom of God within is more REAL than the computer screen you are looking at. If you do the true Teachings of Jesus and you will truly See with your eyes the Kingdom of God within, God's True Holy Temple is YOU.

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5 years ago  ::  Jan 01, 2009 - 1:41PM #6
pilahawaiian
Posts: 452

AEDPoet22 wrote:

I'm just confused. I really want to have a christian base in my life. I believe in certain things in the bible, and with other parts I don't. I can't say I know the bible well but I do have a good enough concept of it. Whenever I'm compelled to go to church, I always receieve what I need to help me for whatever I'm going through but I don't always go to church. I'm sort of afraid that my pagan beliefs might go against my christian beliefs. I don't worship false idols because I believe in my heart and soul there is a God AND a Goddess, even though with Christianity you're technically only supposed to worship God. I read about "White" baths that I want to start trying. I believe in purifying myself at least once a week. I don't believe in fornication. Like I don't believe in the concept that having sex before marriage is a sin. I also don't believe Jesus was a virgin. I believe he had a family, how else could he be a role model for man? I believe in burning candles as a form of sacrifice. Uhm, I'm not really sure if this answers any questions. I just know I want a Christian base in my life and Paganism as a form of expressing myself spiritually. I believe in private prayer and worship more than going to church every week. I understand church is supposed to help me learn and understand the Word more but I don't always recieve a message when I go every week. That's why I rather go when I feel that God and Goddess is compelling me to go. I sometimes shop at the Botanicas, which is usually a Santeria shop. I believe in palm reading, tarot card reading and anything that is divination. I am still learning how to read tarot cards but again, I feel I need a teacher to truly understand. I've been raised to understand christianity, even though I feel I still have a lot to learn in that area too. I guess you can say that I need teaching. I feel like if I understand Christianity and Paganism more, then I can mold them to fit my needs. And I know that Paganism has more than one sect, as well as Christianity. I can say at least as far as Christianity, that I fall into the Baptist part of it. I love the hooting and hollering and dancing and going crazy in church lol. But as far as Paganism, I'm not sure if it's Wicca or Santeria that closely fits me. I'm just not sure. And there aren't many wiccan stores around here so it's hard for me to find like-minded people. Oi..I hope I made myself clearer. If not, let me know.

Many blessings.



You will NEVER find the Kingdom of God in a Church or in any Religion, The Kingdom on God is within every Human on Earth and beyound, and the Kingdom within looks just like the Kingdom of God in Heaven. Anything less is Bulls*^# or some dumba$$ belief by the liers of all liers MAN.

The Kingdom of God within is more REAL than the computer screen you are looking at. If you do the true Teachings of Jesus and you will truly See with your eyes the Kingdom of God within, God's True Holy Temple is YOU.

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5 years ago  ::  Jan 04, 2009 - 4:02PM #7
AEDPoet22
Posts: 6
I do agree but disagree with you. I agree that God is within all, I've always known that but because God is within all, religion does have some degree of God in it as well. We wouldn't have religion if God didn't compell someone and inspire someone to write his word. We wouldn't know about the kingdom of God if it weren't for religion and we wouldn't have morals if it weren't for religion. All in all, God is of course within all but because of religion we have some idea of what the kingdom of God is and what it will be for us in the future. So I do believe you can "find" the kingdom of God through religion. That's how Faith is started. Of course, you can have Faith without a religion but religion, and being around like-minded people, can help the faith process and give us hope. I'm pretty sure there are a bunch of people who pray to god but don't believe in belonging to any religion but they wouldn't mind getting together and praying together. And what is that? The foundation of a new religion without anyone really realizing. It's still a congregation if there's a group of people are praying to God or Goddess or both, even if they don't belong to a religion. So while you're right about God being in all, I don't agree about Religion not helping us "find" the kingdom of God. I can't say you're wrong because who knows, you could be right and I'm just being Naive but I can say I don't agree.
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5 years ago  ::  Jan 05, 2009 - 1:04AM #8
pilahawaiian
Posts: 452

AEDPoet22 wrote:

I do agree but disagree with you. I agree that God is within all, I've always known that but because God is within all, religion does have some degree of God in it as well. We wouldn't have religion if God didn't compell someone and inspire someone to write his word. We wouldn't know about the kingdom of God if it weren't for religion and we wouldn't have morals if it weren't for religion. All in all, God is of course within all but because of religion we have some idea of what the kingdom of God is and what it will be for us in the future. So I do believe you can "find" the kingdom of God through religion. That's how Faith is started. Of course, you can have Faith without a religion but religion, and being around like-minded people, can help the faith process and give us hope. I'm pretty sure there are a bunch of people who pray to god but don't believe in belonging to any religion but they wouldn't mind getting together and praying together. And what is that? The foundation of a new religion without anyone really realizing. It's still a congregation if there's a group of people are praying to God or Goddess or both, even if they don't belong to a religion. So while you're right about God being in all, I don't agree about Religion not helping us "find" the kingdom of God. I can't say you're wrong because who knows, you could be right and I'm just being Naive but I can say I don't agree.



If you ever get to See with your own eyes the Holy Image of God within yourself, you will start to understand the Kingdom of God within that Jesus was quoting of talking about. You will also get to Hear with your own enter ears what Jesus was quoted saying the word of God within, which is part of the Kingdom of God within.

If you get to experience these to gifts, you will get to see, walk, and touch, the Kingdom of God on Earth.

Then and only then will you be able to understand the Bible and what it is all about, and you will find out that religion is by Man, and the Christianity movement is not by Jesus. And neither will get you into the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom of God is within, like Jesus was quoted as saying.

Jesus healed the sick, diseased, blind, deaf, and dead,  this he called SIN, or in Sin. Jesus gave LIFE to God’s children. Sin is anything that takes your God giving Life force from you God’s Holy Temple (“YOU”) The Holy Child of GOD.

Religion and Christianity tell you Lying, murder, and thief is a Sin against God, when all along it is really a sin against the world and man and his laws. Jesus never heal a liar, murder, or thief. The Church tells you this is sin, and dying of a disease is OK it’s God’s will, and all you can do is go to your doctor and we will pray for you.

When all you really have to do is the true teachings of Jesus. By the way that’s his name, or in his name, his name is his teachings, his works, what he taught man to do.

I don’t expect you to truly understand, Jesus was quoted as saying once you can see the Holy Image of God within, the Image you are born in, or as the Christians call it the Holy spirit, or Holt Ghost, all truth is reviled onto you. And it is true.

So good luck on your journey.

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5 years ago  ::  Jan 12, 2009 - 5:46PM #9
Free2beme09
Posts: 733
[QUOTE=AEDPoet22;985228]Hello. I'm fairly new to this site and I'm still trying to get an idea of how things work around here. I am completely lost spiritually. I believe in some Christian beliefs and some Pagan beliefs as well. I just don't know where I fall or what to do. I've come to realize I believe in not only God but also in the Goddess. I've realized that there is a balance to everything so of course when it comes to deities, it also has a balance, at least to me it does. I believe in prayer, going to church and receiving a word from God. But I only go to church when I feel like God is compelling me to do so. My boyfriend is an open-minded Christian. He is open to some of my beliefs even if he doesn't share them. But spiritually I'm confused. I don't know if I'm more of a Christian or a Pagan. I believe in candle burning and burning insense and things of the sort but not so much as performing rituals. I think if I knew more Pagan people that I could learn from, then maybe I could maybe choose that as my religion but in my area, there aren't many that I know of. I want to learn more and I'm not sure if I'm writing in the right place. If someone can redirect me then that would be very helpful. I guess I can say I need a teacher or a mentor. Someone to help me learn the pagan ways. I think if I have a better understanding of it, then I might be able to relate more. I only know so much from self-reading and self-research. If anyone can help, please let me know. Thank you.

~Many Blessings

P.S I also took that "What Type Of Religion Are You?" quiz and it came up Pagan... SO yeah... I need some help.[/QUOTE]

First I would suggest u not put pressure on yourself to chose a religion or a place or a label.  U need to find out for urself what u believe to be true.  I am unlabeled, I find Buddhist teaching inspirational.  But I am still very Christ like.  I think that the quest for God begins and ends with one important discovery, self love, unconditional love, love love love.  I truly believe that every thing a being seeks is inside, once one gains a total since of clarity then one can make a better decision on where to find those who share similar ideas and beliefs.  Spiritual awakenings should be fun and breath taking, enjoy it and just educate urself until u find ur calling. 

I am not familiar with anything pagan.  I havent relished that far into my studies, hopefully someone here can help u.  good luck :)
Religion is for those afraid of hell.  Spirituality is had by those who have been there!
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5 years ago  ::  Jan 12, 2009 - 11:33PM #10
AEDPoet22
Posts: 6
Ok... I guess my true question is more that I'm trying to find like-minded people that I can sit down and speak with. I don't have a problem finding God. I know God and that isn't really the problem. I guess I was putting it wrong when I said I was just looking for a religion to match my beliefs. I am more so looking for like-minded people that can help me explore my beliefs and help me expand further that I have so far. I've had a lot of spiritual awakenings since writing my first post so I can absolutely say that I have redefined my question:

I need help on my journey, yes... But what I need help with is finding like-minded people I can chat with and just be able to be open with. I would like to meet more spiritual people who share my beliefs and ideas. I guess that is why I feel I am trying to find a specific religion. Maybe i'm looking for more of a spiritual community that doesn't fall within any religion. At least for now I feel I can say i'm a non-denominational christian. Hopefully that helps.

*Many Blessings*
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