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|5 years ago :: Dec 15, 2008 - 3:54AM #1|
First, I was Christian.
Then I became Atheist (kinda).
And now I'm Agnostic :)
Then, later on, after doing some research, I added on "Humanist" and "freethinker", which would then make me, in all, a "freethinking Agnostic Humanist" or just "Agnostic Humanist", for short.
It's been a long journey for me to find out my religious beliefs (and lack of).
I was raised in a Christian household.
I followed the bible religiously- everything in the bible, and I remember actually walking up to strangers who cursed when I was no more than 12 years old and blatantly telling them "Don't curse or you'll go to hell!" I went to church every Sunday and I believed in everything I told (just so long as it was "in the name of God").
Until, one day, my brother asked me "If the bible is true, why does it not mention dinosaurs?"
This statement can be true or false, but that is not the point.
The point was that while pondering this statement, it got me to think outside of what I was told. I was forced to think. I then begain forming my own questions about God and Christianity, to which none of them were ever answered, and I began to live off the "what if's" and "maybe's". My mother always said I asked questions non-stop when I was little (my poor mother).
For this, I believe I was born to be a freethinker :)
Every time I told people I was "Christian", I felt like I was lying. I did not like this feeling so I sought out to change my religion. However, sadly, my parents never taught me any other religions besides Christianity so I felt lost.
The only other "religion" I knew about other than Christianity was Atheism, and I knew I wasn't Christian so I became Atheist... for about a week. Just as with Christianity, I felt like a liar every time I told someone I was an Atheist.
So I decided that if my parents and school were not going to teach me, I had to do it on my own. I started reading and doing research. I found out that there are a ton of religions besides Christianity!
First, Wicca appealed to me, but Wicca is a very hard religion to be self-taught and I got lost within all the readings so my laziness got the best of me and I dropped that that idea, lol.
Then I found Agnosticism.
The description of Agnosticism fit me to a "T". The first time I called myself "Agnostic", it was like I was being hit with pillows and covered in chocolate and marshmallows (in other words, it felt good). I felt like I had finally found myself :)
Of course, my parents didn't like it, but I did and that was all that mattered.
I am set with my beliefs, but, if you've read any of my threads on this website then you will know that I am still lost in some ways and I am always looking to progressive.
|5 years ago :: Dec 16, 2008 - 12:20AM #2|
I think you will be getting wherever you want to go. You seem to have enough courage not to let anybody hold you back with threats of having to be loyal a religious group. keep walking.