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Switch to Forum Live View Kundalini killing me?
6 years ago  ::  Aug 08, 2008 - 5:27AM #1
manig
Posts: 23
A few seconds after I sit for meditation the Kundalini starts rising.  And when my body and mind are calm enough it starts collecting breath in my lungs and forces it towards my forehead.  The force is immense.  Its as if the Kundalini is forcing the air to push open the lid off my head...

I started meditation two years ago when I had this strange dream.  In the dream I saw myself asleep.  I thought how its possible to see myself asleep?  I must be dreaming.  And just when I realized this, my hearing turned inwards and I heard a loud 'OM' inside me.   At the same time my eyes moved upwards between my eyebrows and the vision turned inwards too.  I felt as if I was dying.  A fireball (like sun) was glowing inside the head between my eyebrows.  And I woke up with fear of death.

It seems the Kundalini is trying to redo the same thing when I meditate.  Its been two years and nothing has happened except I become exhausted.

A strange energy flows inside me all the time and makes mudras/gestures with my hands beyond my understanding.

Any guidance/help will be highly appreciated.

Thanks
Mani
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 10, 2008 - 9:21AM #2
ricosoma
Posts: 274
When the Kundalini is awakened it displaces (destroys) the limited sense of self (ego, ahamkara in sanskrit).
It can feel like one is dying but it's only the limited sense of oneself.
If you are serious about knowing who you really are and want to learn how to "control" the Kundalini's movements check out     http://www.siddhayoga.org/teachings/sha … tipat.html
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 10, 2008 - 12:20PM #3
Feinics
Posts: 2,539
Hi dont really have anything constructive to add just a quick curiosity:)
Previously in the year i went through what people refer to as the dark night of the soul, I definitely was facing my ego and battling my insecurities and doubts, during this period i did experience this illogical feeling that i was dying or going to die
just wondering if this is similar to what you mention rico?
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 10, 2008 - 1:01PM #4
ricosoma
Posts: 274
"the dark night of the soul" is often the realization that there must be more to this existance than what one has believed to be; up to that point.  If some deep part of you yearns for more check out
http://truthofthepresentmoment.blogspot.com/
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 10, 2008 - 1:08PM #5
Feinics
Posts: 2,539
Thanks for the reply and the link :)
Looks interesting, il give it a proper read after dinner!
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 11, 2008 - 2:43AM #6
manig
Posts: 23
Thanks Rico.  Do you have any idea if Shaktipat can be done by a master who is dead (no longer in physical body)?

I imagine myself explode and merge in the Universe almost everyday.  Its just imagination but gives a good feel...

I understand you mean the fear of death is the fear of my ego dying and not me.  The end of the dream.

When I begin meditating my bottom (the place between my anus and penis) is sort of energized.  I get stroked underneath so hard as if I am going to be lifted upwards.  I strengthen my legs and try to remain stable.

Afterwards my belly starts contracting and the breath starts collecting in the chest instead of belly.  Then my head bends down in front a bit and I feel great pressure in the neck.  As if someone is blocking my breathing.  Then the force is blown upwards towards my forehead.

My eyes shift upwards inwards in complete darkness.  My ears get plugged.  Its like you have become a puntured tyre and deflating...  my face becomes red... I try to control my fear and say myself... go go go!!! I am not afraid of death... just go in..

But nothing happens.

And then I hear a strange sound like vapours flowing out from my head.  Similar to the sound you hear when froth forms in a glass poured with Coca Cola... gradually diminishing.

I get tired and my eyes slowly shift back to their normal place.  My hands massage my eyelids themselves for a while and do not allow me to open the eyes right away.

The process is really tiring.

That's about it really.

I also found this link yesterday http://dharma-haven.org/oas/kundheal.htm

I have written to Jesa about my situation and await her reply as well.
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 11, 2008 - 8:00AM #7
ricosoma
Posts: 274
Yes it is possible to receive Shaktipat from someone not physically present, but you should be careful not to get too caught up in the physical experience.  The awakening of the Kundalini is only the first step.    When you have these experiences there is a part of you that is aware of what is happening.  The goal is to become established in the perspective of being aware of that awareness all the time.

I'm not clear on what you want.  If these experiences only happen when you meditate, and you want them to stop, then perhaps you should stop meditating for a while until you can learn to integrate what happens in meditation.  If you want to progress on the spiritual path then you also need to work on your normal everyday experience.  There is a general misconception that the goal of spiritual practice is to have these fantastic otherworldly experiences.  While these types of experiences can be a part of one's progress on the Path they can also become a distraction.  It is more important to come into harmony with everything in one's life than to see "the light" and hear "the music".  If you are serious about making  progress on the Path then you might want to check out the link posted in reply #4 to Feinics
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 11, 2008 - 9:11AM #8
manig
Posts: 23
Thanks again Rico.

I just want to be sure what's going is right and I am not doing anything wrong.  Because my master is dead and I have not met anyone else of his calibre.

The link you have posted to Feinics is very good but you know I have read about 50 books of Osho when I was young :)

I have cool experiences but I am not attached or fond of them.

The meditation happens itself...  today I lay next to my sleeping 11 month old son, just to relax a bit when I felt great pull beneath my spine and energy vibrating in the finger tips of my hands.  I was afraid to touch my son as I thought it might hurt him.
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 14, 2008 - 9:21AM #9
Maya3
Posts: 928
From what you are telling me about how your stomach contracts, and your neck is pushed down painfully and you cannot breath. It sounds like  you are progressing too fast, your body is not yet ready to deal with the kundalini.

My advice is to continue to meditate, but take it very slowly. If it happens just seconds after you start, meditate just for a few minutes. Never force the kundalini movement. If the surge becomes intense stop immidiately.

Get plenty of physical exercise and eat a lot of protein (vegetarian).

Do you have a hatha yoga practice? 
If you do it's good to practice a little just before you sit to meditate.

I'm not trying to discourage you, kundalini is not dangerous, but your body has to be ready to take it.
Two years of practice is very fast for you to already have so much energy rising. It usually takes lifetimes (it probably has for you too, but it's very soon in this one).

You can feel energy rising and movement in your body, but your breathing should not be blocked and you should not have muscular contractions, if you do it's too fast.

Maya
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 14, 2008 - 9:21AM #10
Maya3
Posts: 928
From what you are telling me about how your stomach contracts, and your neck is pushed down painfully and you cannot breath. It sounds like  you are progressing too fast, your body is not yet ready to deal with the kundalini.

My advice is to continue to meditate, but take it very slowly. If it happens just seconds after you start, meditate just for a few minutes. Never force the kundalini movement. If the surge becomes intense stop immidiately.

Get plenty of physical exercise and eat a lot of protein (vegetarian).

Do you have a hatha yoga practice? 
If you do it's good to practice a little just before you sit to meditate.

I'm not trying to discourage you, kundalini is not dangerous, but your body has to be ready to take it.
Two years of practice is very fast for you to already have so much energy rising. It usually takes lifetimes (it probably has for you too, but it's very soon in this one).

You can feel energy rising and movement in your body, but your breathing should not be blocked and you should not have muscular contractions, if you do it's too fast.

Maya
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