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Switch to Forum Live View The challenges of being empathic
7 years ago  ::  Dec 16, 2007 - 9:29AM #1
Trin
Posts: 6
Empathy is a subject that has always fascinated me. It seems to be a trait inherent in all sentient beings to a greater or lesser degree. It is the ability to understand another through feeling what they feel (i.e. stepping into someone else's shoes). Most find it easier to empathise with people who've undergone similar experiences. Some of us however are born with heightened sensitivity to the feelings (or more specifically the emotional body) of others. Are you one of those?...

Someone with strong empathic (aka empathetic) qualities will often experience the emotion of another as their own, often leading to personal confusion as the person experiencing doesn't always know where the emotion has suddenly come from, let alone the fact that it is not their own!

People with this quality are frequently found in caring professions or doing charity work as they feel inclined to help ease the burden of others. They may feel equally inclined to express how 'they' feel though the arts or spend a lot of time in natural environments. An empath is commonly labelled as 'too sensitive', or 'over emotional'. Hardly surprising given the fact that they frequently unconsciously absorb the energy in their surrounding field like a sponge. Given that the world as we know it is not exactly utopia, there is a vast pool of every conceivable feeling an emotion on every high street! It's hardly surprising that empaths often develop coping mechanisms to distract their attention and suppress their feelings.

It must be said though that it is one of the most amazing blessings and gifts that one can experience as a sentient life form. Through personal and direct understanding it invites us to find the depths of compassion within our hearts for all other life forms. Harnessed and unveiled in its authenticity, it leads us to a profound state of grace and non-judgement.

In order to harness the qualities of any innate heightened gifts of empathy it is important that we do not become consumed and over ridden by everything that we feel going on around us. There are some basic understandings that can help us...

    * First of all, any practice that will help us unveil our true selves and retain our sense of individual expression is very important. Many find that meditation, yoga, tai chi, sport, art etc. help us peel back the layers that remind us who we truly are. It is beneficial to do whatever practice works in this respect on a daily basis to provide on going openness to our inherent guidance.
    * Taking on anyone else's energy is a choice that we make at a soul level. We make this choice ourselves! We may need to frequently remind ourselves of this fact initially. With awareness we learn to not take on the feelings as our own. We 'still' feel them, yet these feelings become purposeful and we begin to recognise what we are supposed to act upon and what we are supposed to allow to fall away.
    * If feelings and emotions are becoming lodged within our energy field it is because it is getting stuck in internal tightness that we have. The compression is something that we are holding onto within our field. As long as we hold onto this tightness we are held hostage to the energy that we are taking on board through others. When we come up against an energetic compression we are constantly invited to let go of whatever it is that is locking energy within there. Contrary to popular belief, we don't always have to go into painful detail about what we are holding onto. It some times helps to express it, at other times simply bring awareness to the area an allowing light, universal life energy, chi (whatever you connect with) to flow into the area will allow tension to dissolve and trapped energy to release and flow through.

An empath has been given the intuitive gift of feeling. As we become clearer, more grounded and balanced this gift evolves into a form a clairsentience, and we become able to use it in a purposeful way to be of service.

With Love
Trin
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7 years ago  ::  Dec 16, 2007 - 9:29AM #2
Trin
Posts: 6
Empathy is a subject that has always fascinated me. It seems to be a trait inherent in all sentient beings to a greater or lesser degree. It is the ability to understand another through feeling what they feel (i.e. stepping into someone else's shoes). Most find it easier to empathise with people who've undergone similar experiences. Some of us however are born with heightened sensitivity to the feelings (or more specifically the emotional body) of others. Are you one of those?...

Someone with strong empathic (aka empathetic) qualities will often experience the emotion of another as their own, often leading to personal confusion as the person experiencing doesn't always know where the emotion has suddenly come from, let alone the fact that it is not their own!

People with this quality are frequently found in caring professions or doing charity work as they feel inclined to help ease the burden of others. They may feel equally inclined to express how 'they' feel though the arts or spend a lot of time in natural environments. An empath is commonly labelled as 'too sensitive', or 'over emotional'. Hardly surprising given the fact that they frequently unconsciously absorb the energy in their surrounding field like a sponge. Given that the world as we know it is not exactly utopia, there is a vast pool of every conceivable feeling an emotion on every high street! It's hardly surprising that empaths often develop coping mechanisms to distract their attention and suppress their feelings.

It must be said though that it is one of the most amazing blessings and gifts that one can experience as a sentient life form. Through personal and direct understanding it invites us to find the depths of compassion within our hearts for all other life forms. Harnessed and unveiled in its authenticity, it leads us to a profound state of grace and non-judgement.

In order to harness the qualities of any innate heightened gifts of empathy it is important that we do not become consumed and over ridden by everything that we feel going on around us. There are some basic understandings that can help us...

    * First of all, any practice that will help us unveil our true selves and retain our sense of individual expression is very important. Many find that meditation, yoga, tai chi, sport, art etc. help us peel back the layers that remind us who we truly are. It is beneficial to do whatever practice works in this respect on a daily basis to provide on going openness to our inherent guidance.
    * Taking on anyone else's energy is a choice that we make at a soul level. We make this choice ourselves! We may need to frequently remind ourselves of this fact initially. With awareness we learn to not take on the feelings as our own. We 'still' feel them, yet these feelings become purposeful and we begin to recognise what we are supposed to act upon and what we are supposed to allow to fall away.
    * If feelings and emotions are becoming lodged within our energy field it is because it is getting stuck in internal tightness that we have. The compression is something that we are holding onto within our field. As long as we hold onto this tightness we are held hostage to the energy that we are taking on board through others. When we come up against an energetic compression we are constantly invited to let go of whatever it is that is locking energy within there. Contrary to popular belief, we don't always have to go into painful detail about what we are holding onto. It some times helps to express it, at other times simply bring awareness to the area an allowing light, universal life energy, chi (whatever you connect with) to flow into the area will allow tension to dissolve and trapped energy to release and flow through.

An empath has been given the intuitive gift of feeling. As we become clearer, more grounded and balanced this gift evolves into a form a clairsentience, and we become able to use it in a purposeful way to be of service.

With Love
Trin
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7 years ago  ::  Dec 20, 2007 - 4:59PM #3
many-festor
Posts: 6
Thats very enlightening. Being clairsentient myself, I have had trouble soaking up others emotions often knowing how they feel before they can express it themselves, at least in words. I suppose I used various defense mechanisms in order to cope with others feleings as well as my own...

  There are things I now do in order to let go of others negative feelings. The good feeling ones I will keep thank you very much! And clairsentience can be really wonderful amongst positive good feeling people! However in the "old days" I wasnt surrounding myself with that at all, quite the contrary. SO today I use "grounding " techniques as well as use the guidance from my angels who are able to "vacuum out the negative energy" as well as replace it with loving energy. I often call upon the archangel Micheal to do this for me. And they do. Also another thing you can ask the angels for is to cut the "etheric cords" that you may have developed from another , especially others who become emotionally dependent on you and needy. They can suck your energy big time!
  A great things that clairsentients can do however, is to spread their loving energy out in every direction.  And this , of course just leads to higher levels of energy instead of a depletion. because we all know that love only EXPANDS!!

     Its okay and good to feel the depth of your emotion because this is the very reason we are here! To be the feeling and experiencing part of God! Our soul loves all of it! It loves the drama.

   As far as true empathy is concerned... Is this a possibility? I think to the degree that you have undergone similar things you are better able to "identify" with the other. And the only true way of having empathy; complete empathy is thorugh non-verbal mirroring and postural echoing. That it, to truly feel what the other is feleing it may be required to take on the same physiology as them. You do this through taking on the same posture and facial features and even muscle tension/relaxation as the other person. I learned this in NLP as a part of "rapport building" Studies have been done where the other person has even mirrored such microcues as pupil dilation, heart rate and breathing. And they got so calibrated with the other that they could know what they were actually thinking! This is true empathy at its finest!!!
Tim
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7 years ago  ::  Dec 21, 2007 - 10:11AM #4
spiritalk
Posts: 1,165
Empathy is attunement to all the physical energies.  They can drive you kind of batty as you figure out who belongs to what.  There are energies around life all the time. 

A demonstration, to be sure, can be formed around these empathic feelings.  Consider...you are reading the emotions of another - the best you can answer is to their own emotions drawing to what conclusion they find the most compatible with the situation.

Taking all the sensitivities (empathy) that you can must, protecting from the earth level energies, and rising into spirit form - this makes it a part of psychic work at a deeper level.
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 11, 2008 - 11:59PM #5
Jacey
Posts: 2
Excellent post Trin. I love how you left the reader empowered instead of a victim. It really is our choice if we feel others emotions or even pick up feelings from objects. We really are in charge of how we feel.

With self-mastery  you realize that you are not a victim of others realities/feelings and can make a vibrational shift to feel the way you want to feel. It's very refreshing to read your post instead of the "poor me" posts in regards to empathy I'm accustomed to. :) It's not that I don't understand how hard it can be it's that I don't think most people realize they don't have to feel bad if they don't want to and have the power to change how they feel.
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 16, 2008 - 12:59AM #6
Trin
Posts: 6
Hi Jacey,

Thank you for the reply :0) It's great to hear that it resonates with you.

I do feel that ultimately we can only evolve or move 'forward' if we find our own internal strength and attune to our own inner guidance. It is that which, in my experience guides us towards transcending all barriers and blockages that prevent us tuning into our true potential.

Love
Trinity
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 18, 2008 - 3:43PM #7
harmonyetc
Posts: 6
I enjoyed reading this thread. 

The only thing I would add is that sometimes our cellular programming is such that we are a sponge without even realizing it (happens from infancy) and we absorb emotion from people around us in order to keep ourselves safe (i.e. if my father/other man is angry I am not safe, so I'll absorb his emotion and placate to keep myself safe).  If this happens we can  get ourselves in really deep psychological trouble.

I evidently did this for the first ~30 some odd years of my life.  Now I'm having to reinvent the way I go about life from the very beginning.  I always knew I was empahtetic, but I never knew it was tied to my very survival, so that even when I didn't intend to, I did it anyway as a survival technique programmed from even before I could remember.

It's a fascinating subject when you get into it.
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7 years ago  ::  Mar 14, 2008 - 2:08AM #8
LilyRoze
Posts: 183
if it's a gift it's one with a great darkness attached to it. I could never be in one of those "caring" professions. I'm practically crippled just by news stories I read. A room full of people can drive me insane with the cross-currents. And coming into contact with someone truly evil? There is nothing good about that. Nothing at all. Except to know to stay the hell away (which I suppose is a nice thing to know, but still...)



Sorry. I appreciate all the wondrous stuff being an empath gives me, I do. But man... there is so much pain out there. I worked for a while as a telephone psychic. I'm a Tarot reader. I was good at it, still am, and was good at the phone stuff, because I learned to cut to the quick and not keep people on too long for those exorbitant fees. But man... what it did to me, what it took out of me. All that pain. Imagine, feeling all that pain all the time you're doing it. It was years after I finally had to give it up that I was even able to pick up a deck of Tarot cards again.

It's not a "gift". It's just.... the way some of us are. For the good and evil of it, it's nothing more than just the way some of us are born, that's all.

..
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7 years ago  ::  Mar 14, 2008 - 2:16AM #9
LilyRoze
Posts: 183
[QUOTE=Jacey;207762] It's very refreshing to read your post instead of the "poor me" posts in regards to empathy I'm accustomed to. :) It's not that I don't understand how hard it can be it's that I don't think most people realize they don't have to feel bad if they don't want to and have the power to change how they feel.[/QUOTE]



Sorry for the unrefreshing "poor me" post I just made. But I have to take exception with your "you have a choice" stand. I know, lots of people say that. Because you, you personally,  have that power to change how you feel, you assume everyone has the ability.

Please. Don't make assumptions based on your and any other testimonials you can reference. It really means nothing to those of us who don't have the kind of mastery over it that you have achieved. And I feel it's a little condescending for you to say to me that my pain is my fault, because I can "choose" not to have it. That really not fair of you at all. Because you just don't know. You don't. Would you tell a person with a crushed spine that they need not feel confined to a wheelchair because they can "choose" not to be crippled? No, you wouldn't. Believe me, the analogy is not so far off. I'm just asking that you try and understand that, that's all.




....
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7 years ago  ::  Mar 14, 2008 - 10:33AM #10
spiritalk
Posts: 1,165
I evidently did this for the first ~30 some odd years of my life. Now I'm having to reinvent the way I go about life from the very beginning. I always knew I was empahtetic, but I never knew it was tied to my very survival, so that even when I didn't intend to, I did it anyway as a survival technique programmed from even before I could remember.


Perhaps we need all that life throws at us to learn our own personal lessons.  Life is a series of lessons - that is why we are born babies and grow through so many stages and ages of life.

Everyone comes to their knowledge of empathy at a different time or stage of their lives.  Each does as they see fit to be open or closed to the energies.  No one answer can be had for all because it is attached to our personal experiences.
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