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7 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2007 - 11:26PM #1
chemjorn
Posts: 12
I've felt this way for a couple of years now. My mother and grandmother are Christians and I believe my teacher is currently teaching a Sunday School, but after living my life and some of the stuff I've read, I really think I'm an agnostic. I don't want to sadden them, but I am kind of tired of keeping this a secret. Of course, I wish they didn't automatically think I was going to hell because of that. I think that has to be one of my least favorite parts of their religion. So, should I tell them or not? I sometimes meet them for meals, which they cover, but I'm going to be moving in with a friend next month, so it wouldn't totally devastate me financially if I were to tell them.
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7 years ago  ::  Dec 10, 2007 - 10:09AM #2
spiritalk
Posts: 1,165
Perhaps persuing your own spirituality for a while and seeing where it leads, then will be time enough to make any kind of announcement.  You will be more settled and they only need to know when you have found what works for you.  Don't anticipate the worst - expect the best!
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7 years ago  ::  Dec 10, 2007 - 2:20PM #3
slherndon
Posts: 1
Chemjorn, you inidcate in your profile that you don't really know what you believe.  I agree with Spiritalk that you should take this time to pursue your own spirituality right now.  Figure out exactly what you do believe.  If there are questions or conversations about religion come up with your mother or grandmother you can express that you are unsure about your beliefs and are investigating other ideas to help you find what you believe.  Once you figure out what you believe you can decide if/how to tell them.

I have recently been through a very similar situation.  I was raised Mormom, but no longer believe in Christianity.  I debated on whether or not to tell my family, but decided that it didn't warrant a great announcement that I had changed my spiritual beliefs.  They know I don't attend the Mormon church anymore and when conversations have come up about religious topics I have just expressed that I was searching to find what I believed.  I think they understand and haven't pressured me at all.  Now that I am a little closer to figuring out some of my basic beliefs I just hint here and there by throwing out ideas.  I think it will take the sting away from "by the way, I am **** religion now."  Espeicially if they don't really understand what that means.
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7 years ago  ::  Dec 10, 2007 - 3:43PM #4
Geocorona
Posts: 302
I agree with the other posts.

You may come back to Christianity with a different interpretation of the dogma, or you may not.

Most people don't appreciate the spiritual growth of others, and see seekers as floating aimlessly, rather than viewing the process as important growth & development. Too often they will present their religion as a false dichotomy: either you believe their version of the Cosmos, or you're going to hell.

Stay strong, and use discretion.
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7 years ago  ::  Dec 11, 2007 - 9:48PM #5
RaymondSigrist
Posts: 578
[QUOTE=chemjorn;128376] So, should I tell them or not? .[/QUOTE]

Hi chemjorn

       You might be surprized at the results you could get by praying about this.  Agnostic prayer is quite often very effective.  There is something afoot that loves us whether or not we believe it exists.  It gives us love unconditionally.

Here is something on a similar vein--

The following is an excerpt from The Varieties of Religious Experience; the excerpt was written by Frederic W. H. Myers.

"I am glad that you have asked me about prayer, because I have rather strong ideas on the subject. First consider what are the facts. There exists around us a spiritual universe, and that universe is in actual relation with the material. From the spiritual universe comes the energy which maintains the material; the energy which makes the life of each individual spirit. Our spirits are supported by a perpetual indrawal of this energy, and the vigor of that indrawal is perpetually changing, much as the vigor of our absorption of material nutriment changes from hour to hour.

I call these 'facts' because I think that some scheme of this kind is the only one consistent with our actual evidence; too complex to summarize here. How, then, should we act on these facts? Plainly we must endeavor to draw in as much spiritual life as possible, and we must place our minds in any attitude which experience shows to be favorable to such indrawal. Prayer is the general name for that attitude of open and sincere expectancy. If we then ask to whom to pray, the answer (strangely enough) must be that that does not much matter. The prayer is not indeed a purely subjective thing; -- it means a real increase in intensity of absorption of spiritual power or grace; -- but we do not know enough of what takes place in the spiritual world to know how the prayer operates; -- who is cognizant of it, or through what channel the grace is given."

ciao,
raymond
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7 years ago  ::  Mar 25, 2008 - 3:49PM #6
mountainclimber24
Posts: 30
We are ALL on a journey.  You are on a journey, and what an adventure it is!  The current part of your journey is that you are an agnostic. That's who you are, and where you are.  If you are close to them, then you should share it.    Don't worry about them worrying about you going to hell.  Why not ask them to pray for you, if you tell them about your beliefs?  It won't hurt you one bit if they are praying for you, and it will direct them away from criticizing you.

The spiritual life is like a journey.  There are deserts of agnosticism, oasis of zeal, meadows of contentment.  There's nothing wrong with spending time in the desert.

Peace be with you.
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7 years ago  ::  Mar 27, 2008 - 11:54AM #7
Sakhaiva
Posts: 942
I second Mountain climber, nice post.

I agree with what has already been said; we don't have to brand ourselves with a label.  Embrace where you are at ,gently,  but don't feel that you have to cement your feet where they are. 

Be gentle with yourself and enjoy the journey of life :)
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7 years ago  ::  Apr 05, 2008 - 10:11PM #8
Khalida
Posts: 8
I agree with Mountain climber also.  Chemjorn, I've been exactly where you are now.  Raised a Catholic,  later realizing it wasn't for me.  For years I wandered in the desert,  an atheist for a while finding comfort in Buddhism.  Don't  worry about what you think other people expect of you spiritually.  It is your affair, not theirs. We all find our own way and it's easier if we are left to search on our own.  I don't feel you are obliged to say anything to your family at this point.  I recently converted to Islam quite unexpectedly,  but  I 'knew' this was it.  I couldn't ignore the ecstasy that enveloped me.  You will know when you have found what is right for you, believe me.
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7 years ago  ::  Apr 06, 2008 - 12:46AM #9
LilyRoze
Posts: 183

mountainclimber24 wrote:



The spiritual life is like a journey.  There are deserts of agnosticism, oasis of zeal, meadows of contentment.  There's nothing wrong with spending time in the desert.

Peace be with you.






Not to step on your belief system or anything, but I'd just like to take this opportunity to point out that, although I understand the value of putting the most positive spin on that sentiment, it's also instructive to not forget, that some people never make it out of the desert. There are plenty of bleached bones out there, staring up at the sky. And some of those journeys were cut short intentionally, if you get my meaning. Contrary to pop belief, the Good Lord really does give some people more than they can bear. Happens all the time.


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7 years ago  ::  Apr 05, 2008 - 10:11PM #10
Khalida
Posts: 8
I agree with Mountain climber also.  Chemjorn, I've been exactly where you are now.  Raised a Catholic,  later realizing it wasn't for me.  For years I wandered in the desert,  an atheist for a while finding comfort in Buddhism.  Don't  worry about what you think other people expect of you spiritually.  It is your affair, not theirs. We all find our own way and it's easier if we are left to search on our own.  I don't feel you are obliged to say anything to your family at this point.  I recently converted to Islam quite unexpectedly,  but  I 'knew' this was it.  I couldn't ignore the ecstasy that enveloped me.  You will know when you have found what is right for you, believe me.
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