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Switch to Forum Live View The Death of a Friend
6 years ago  ::  Oct 20, 2007 - 11:19AM #1
PaulaEdwina
Posts: 1,720
I posted on the old board to hold my friend Wendy and her partner of 13 years, Joan in the light as Joan was dying of pancreatic cancer.

Joan died this past Thursday. I want to tell you about the enriching experience of being a witness to the end of somebody's life.  Two Fridays ago Joan was told by her doctor that  she would have 3 weeks since her liver had failed.

She and Wendy had moved into their beautiful new house about a month before. We're all thankful she was able to experience it and enjoy it while she felt well. When the word came down so many people came to their house; Joan's friends, Wendy's friends, Joan's co-workers and students (she was a professor), Wendy's co-workers. People brought plants, flowers, bird feeders (remember this is a new house and mostly empty), a rocking chair for Joan for the porch, food, services (legal, logistic and otherwise), and support. And best of all Joan's close cousin from Wisconsin came down and moved in to help take care of her...and Wendy.

This woman was a joy and a force and a comfort. Her energy proved essential to all of our experiences. She had a stabilizing aura or something. In her presence you were calm. She is truly a good spirit. Of course we would have muddled through without her, but her presence was a blessing in so many ways.

I learned so much from this experience. I've learned how important friendship is, how good friends are even closer than family. I've learned that I'm a grown up and can face our collective mortality.  I feel stronger for the experience. It is as if Joan's last gift to us was to show us our strength, our goodness, and our quality.

Cheers,
Paula
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6 years ago  ::  Dec 05, 2007 - 4:17PM #2
Earthfreak
Posts: 882
Hey Paula

I'm so  sorry, and so happy to hear of all the blessing surrounding this sadness.
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6 years ago  ::  Dec 26, 2007 - 1:17PM #3
PaulaEdwina
Posts: 1,720
Hey Earthfreak,

Sorry I didn't see your post. I seldom visit the Quaker thread - buried as it is in Christian denominations. Hie on over the the group- Society of Friends. It's much more active.

Thank you for your good thoughts.
Paula
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