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Switch to Forum Live View My integrity is compromised.
8 years ago  ::  Aug 12, 2010 - 2:40PM #1
Posts: 46
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8 years ago  ::  Aug 12, 2010 - 2:52PM #2
Posts: 46

For some reason this thread keeps screwing up my posts.  Here's a second try.  A long time ago, a coworker I didn't like was pulling some stuff.  I tried to go to the boss, but he got angry and told me he would fire someone if they did that.  I got scared and changed my story.  I had a chance later to come clean, but fearing he'd fire me, I kept the lie.  Even though it was a long time ago, I feel as if I have violated and sold out my integrity.  Integrity, principles, it is said that they're only worth something if you stick to them when they're inconvenient.  Now I feel as if everything I believed in has been a joke. 

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8 years ago  ::  Aug 15, 2010 - 7:54AM #3
Posts: 3,329


You were in a no-win position, especially since it was a co-worker you didn't like. (And considering that person was doing something unethical, I can see why you didn't care for them.)When you went to your boss, he made it very clear that he did not want to hear complaints or reports from one employee about a fellow employee. You didn't dare risk your own job because you needed that paycheck to survive yourself. It sounds like an anonymous 'suggestion box' would have been a good idea then.

Maybe you chose not to tell not just for fear of your own job but because you weren't comfortable costing another person their job and their future. If that employee had been fired  and got a bad job reference or even been arrested you might have ruined that person and anyone they were supporting's lives. Have you ever seen this saying?

     "Dear Lord, please keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth today."

Had you gotten that person in trouble, your fellow employees would have made your life Hell, especially if they had friends who continued to work with you. I've seen someone who did that and it wasn't pretty. If the legal limit has passed on this incident, there's nothing to gain by telling about it now. It would probably cause more time trying to reweave the past and every record affected by that incident and it would look very strange coming forth with it at this late date.

Could you have absolutely without a doubt cost another person their job that day? Was there a chance the other employee could makke it look like you were doing this instead of them, or told your boss that you were partners even though you weren't? Your boss told you that he didn't want to hear about it, basically. If you were getting the feeling you'd lose your job if you persued it further, that's what would have happened. Maybe what stopped you was an angel wing tip across your mouth that day.

You've been torturing yourself over something that is over and done with. It's time to release this to God--Let go, and let God handle this situation from now on.

I don't think taking that hint both from your boss and in my opinion one of your angels would  count against you, your ethics, or your morals. I think that you've been tormenting yourself for too long .....and consider this--if you didn't have any ethics or morals, this wouldn't have bothered you at all instead of having it eat away at you for years. Give it  to God and let peace come into your heart instead of torment.

"You are letting your opinion be colored by facts again."
'When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."
these are both from my father.
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7 years ago  ::  Aug 31, 2011 - 9:38PM #4
Posts: 7

Marvin, I'm not clear what the antecedent of "that" was.

Did you boss say he would fire someone for doing what your co-worker was doing or for what you were doing: blowing the whistle on someone who was doing something wrong?


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