Jan 17, 2010 -- 7:55AM, karbie wrote:

 

 

I do want to address something that was mentioned earlier--why would you assume that a majority of  the abortions of female  offspring in China  were late term? what is your source?

 

It stands to reason - the ability to know a child's gender used to be around 5 months gestation - that is here in the states. Even untill like the last 10 years it was better to wait untill 7 or 8 months to know the gender - more of a sure thing at that point.  

Now they have tests that you can tell at 3 months.  Still those are more expensive and a bit risky. I seriously doubt the poor of China and India - the farmers, etc.  are shelling out the big bucks to know at the third month and are instead waiting until 5+ months to know the gender of the child. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"If you do believe in god or higher power, do you really think that your god does not know the fertilized egg will not be born? Do you think your god would waste a soul on an egg that will not  be born?"

Good point, MC - especially when you realize that somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 (!) of all fertilized ova never get born.   Miscarriage, aka 'spontaneous abortion', is very common especially in the first month of gestation - when the embryo is too small to easily find, if indeed there even IS an 'embryo' (see: 'blighted ovum').

I wouldn't venture to say *when* anyone becomes ensouled.....

Jan 17, 2010 -- 6:47PM, Abner1 wrote:

LeahOne wrote:

> I wouldn't venture to say *when* anyone becomes ensouled.....

On their 18th birthday?  :)

I'm a Jewish mother:  when is the fetus capable of living independant of the mother?  Upon graduation from medical school .....

Jan 17, 2010 -- 7:42PM, LeahOne wrote:

Jan 17, 2010 -- 6:47PM, Abner1 wrote:

LeahOne wrote:

> I wouldn't venture to say *when* anyone becomes ensouled.....

On their 18th birthday?  :)

I'm a Jewish mother:  when is the fetus capable of living independant of the mother?  Upon graduation from medical school .....

Giggles

LeahOne -

Thank you very much for your kind and understanding post.  The thing with disabled children is that, no matter how severe is the disability, or how long the child has been this way (in our grandson's case since birth seven years ago), every time we see him we find ourselves thinking: Has he shown some improvement?  Is he really holding his spoon by himself?  Was that a word that he tried to say?

I guess you never lose hope.  'Hope is a good breakfast but a poor supper.'  (Francis Bacon)

You and other posters have written eloquently about your miscarriages, and I know all too well what that is, because I miscarried what would have been my second child at five months.  This all happened more than thirty years ago, but in some ways it still seems as if it was only yesterday.  These are the sorts of life experiences that never fade.

After I miscarried (in hospital), I had the D & C, and was discharged on the fourth day.  It was a very strange, empty feeling.  You were pregnant, and then suddenly you weren't anymore.  You grieve the loss of the child, and you are reluctant to put away the maternity clothes.  I found that I wanted to talk about what had happened, but friends and relatives were reluctant.

My best talks were with my aunt, who had had a late miscarriage of twins herself.  She knew just what to say. 

My doctor was very supportive, which helped a lot, too.  He said that miscarriage was very common, and that since most of the time nobody knew what caused it, you shouldn't feel guilty.

I was lucky, because a year later I got pregnant again and had our daughter, who is now 36 and a teacher who is married to a physicist.  (This sort of thing is important, because I, too, am a Jewish mother - well, agnostic Jew - and we used to joke with our daughter about how she really had to marry a doctor.  LOL  Her husband is a Ph.D., so he's addressed as Dr.)