Did you hear about my problem?

I wanted to put a skylight in my apartment, but the people upstairs said NO!

Two guys are standing on the corner collecting money and met at the end of the day. One asked "Why have you collected two pockets full of $10 bills, and I only collected $13 all day?"

The other man said, "It is what is writen on the signs. Yours says you are out of work with 7 children at home. Mine says I need $10 to get back to Mexico!"

Guy comes home drunk, with a wine glass in his back pocket. He sat on it and cut himself. After puting bandaids on the cuts, he went to bed.                                                                  His wife woke him in the morning and said, "you came home drunk last night."                     "How do you know?", he asked                                                                                                "Because there are bandaids on the mirror downstairs," she replied.

Adam and Eve were having a discussion and she said he must be seeing someone else.

Adam said it was impossible as they were the only ones around.

Later  Adam  felt a banging on his back while he was asleep.

He asked Eve what she was doing. She said counting your ribs!

Dec 14, 2009 -- 10:23PM, dsfin wrote:

The boy was abused by school bullies and his lunch money stolen, so his father put him in judo class.

He got to be really good, so he decided to challenge the bullies.

He came home with a black eye and scuffed up and his father asked what happened.

He said by the time he got his shoes and socks off, the boys had beatened him and stole his money

A Nun when passing a construction site was pestered by whistles and cat calls. She decided to witness to them. So the following day she brought her lunch and sat next to a man and asked him if he knew Jesus.

He called to the men up above and asked if anyone knew Jesus. A man yelled back, "who wants to know".

He said ,"His wife is here with his lunch!"