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Birth of a Habit
Madly In Love With ME
Is It Love If You're All Cranky When You Give It?
Living A Meaningful Life
"The Bible" a Labor of Love for Famed Producer, Wife
Who Should Be Allowed to Pray for President Obama?
| 5 years ago :: Apr 01, 2008 - 2:44PM #1 | |
Beliefnetsabee
Posts: 600
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Q: Why are Jewish men with pierced ears well prepared for marriage?
A: Because they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. Q. What's the name of a face lotion developed for Jewish women? A. Oil of Oy Vay Q. What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails so long and beautiful? A. Nothing, nothing at all.
I always remember that for every word typed there is a real person sitting behind the keyboard.
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| 5 years ago :: Apr 22, 2008 - 1:37AM #2 | |
labratcat
Posts: 248
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Of course Jesus was Jewish: 30 years old, lived with his parents, worked in the family business and his mum thought he was God's gift to earth.
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| 5 years ago :: May 03, 2008 - 5:36PM #3 | |
Jalus
Posts: 552
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Sadie and Rose were sitting under a hair dryer at the hairdresser having a chat. Sadie says, "So, nu, Rose, how's that daughter of yours?' Rose replies, "She's OK. She married a fantastic man. He's got a good job. She stays home, never needs to cook because he takes her out, or cleans the house because he got her a maid, or worry about my two lovely grandchildren because he got her a nanny." Sadie then asks, "And how's your son?" Rose replies, "His life is awful. He married a B#%&h from hell. She never cooks anything and makes him take her out to dinner every night. God forbid she should vacuum a carpet; so she made him get her a maid. He has to work like a dog. And she never takes care of my grandson, because she made him get her a nanny." .
"Never forget the earth longs to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair." Kahlil Gibran
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| 5 years ago :: May 09, 2008 - 2:58PM #4 | |
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Jalus
Posts: 552
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Joshua is always lavishing expensive presents on his wife Naomi. But today, Joshua is in big trouble. He has forgotten their wedding anniversary. Oy Veh! Naomi looks him in the eyes and says in a very serious manner, "Tomorrow Joshua, there had better be something for me that goes from 0 to 200 in next to no time flat." Naomi gets up the next morning, opens her front door and finds a small package. She opens it and finds, of all things......a brand new scale. The levoyah is on Sunday and Naomi is sitting shivah for the whole week. Levoyah: Funeral Shivah: 7 days of mourning .
"Never forget the earth longs to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair." Kahlil Gibran
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| 5 years ago :: May 20, 2008 - 12:43AM #5 | |
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Jalus
Posts: 552
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[B][b]
Jewish Country Hits [/B][/B]
* For You I Should Be Singing? * Honkey Tonk Nights On The Golden Heighlo * I Was One Of The Chosen People "Til She Chose Somebody Else * Stand By Your Merch * I'm Crying In The Manischewitz * The Shikoas Gonna Hit The Fan! * Four Thousand Years Of Sufferin' And I Had To Go And Marry You * All Right, All Ready Enough With The Infidelity * Eighteen Wheels And A Dozen Latkes * You've Been Talkin' Hebrew In Your Sleep Since The Rabbi's Come To Town * You Picked A Fine Time To Leave Me Schiemiell * Yippee Ko Yi Oy! * Momma's Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys When They Could Have Easily Taken Over The Family Business That My Very Own Grandfather Broke His Neck To Start And My Own Father Sweated And Toiled Over For Years Which Apparently Doesn't Mean Anything To You Now That Your Turning Your Back On Such A Gift You Ungrateful Schmuck
"Never forget the earth longs to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair." Kahlil Gibran
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| 5 years ago :: Jun 03, 2008 - 12:55PM #6 | |
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Jalus
Posts: 552
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An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First she wanted to be cremated and second she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales. "Bloomingdales," the rabbi exclaimed, "Why Bloomingdales?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit twice a week." .
"Never forget the earth longs to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair." Kahlil Gibran
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| 5 years ago :: Aug 11, 2008 - 2:41AM #7 | |
RaindogY2k
Posts: 7
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Two Rabbis go walking into the worst dive bar in town. As they go through the doors, the first Rabbi says to the second, “so, you ever hear that joke about us”?
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| 5 years ago :: Sep 06, 2008 - 9:38PM #8 | |
nnn123
Posts: 1,460
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http://www.geocities.com/aboaev/jokes/haiku.html
(no offense to real haiku or to Zen Buddhism, I am quite a fan of both) -- here are some links for some real haiku: good haiku links.. http://www.sacred-texts.com/shi/jh/jh02.htm ++++ Issa http://oaks.nvg.org/issa.html +++ Basho http://oaks.nvg.org/basho.html ++++ and here are some good Buddhist links: http://www.tricycle.com/resources/links.html |
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| 3 years ago :: Feb 02, 2010 - 1:13PM #9 | |
Nanasblog
Posts: 4
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Yes the last two are mean-spirited and ugly and should NEVER be repeated. There is zero humor in these except for a Nazi. |
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| 3 years ago :: Feb 02, 2010 - 1:35PM #10 | |
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Drorar
Posts: 1
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I agree whole heartedly!!! |
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