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7 years ago  ::  Apr 01, 2008 - 3:09PM #1
Beliefnetsabee
Posts: 600
After Friday prayers an Imam announced to the people:

"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

-------------

An Imam shocked his community when he announced that he was resigning from that particular Masjid and moving to a drier climate. Afterwards a very distraught lady came to the Imam with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Imam, we are going to miss you so much. We don't want you to leave!" The kind hearted Imam said "Now, now, sister, don't carry on. The Imam who takes my place might be even better than me".

"Yeah", she said, with a tone of disappointment in her voice, "That's what they said the last time too."
I always remember that for every word typed there is a real person sitting behind the keyboard.
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7 years ago  ::  Apr 10, 2008 - 11:47PM #2
Agnosticspirit
Posts: 9,244
I was curious whether Islamists told any jokes - how refreshing to  know they do, thanks for sharing Sabee! :)

Hugs,
Tribalism, ethnocentricism, racism, nationalism, and FEAR is the Mind Killer... >:(

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6 years ago  ::  Jul 21, 2008 - 5:18PM #3
Imani
Posts: 16
[QUOTE=BeliefnetSabee;400128]After Friday prayers an Imam announced to the people:

"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
[/QUOTE]

LOL oh my gosh I seriously laughed really hard at that! Thanks!  Maybe it's not as funny if you're not a Muslim but this reminds me *exactly* of the announcements at the Masjid all the time. I think if the imam said that for real I might give even more than usual.

I've got a good Islam joke:

A Muslimah is walking down a road in Cairo when it starts to rain on her. A taxi cab comes by and the driver says, "Salaam sister, do you want a ride?"
"No," she says, "Allah will save me."
The rain keeps falling until the water is up to her waist. A second taxi cab comes by and the driver says, "Salaam sister, do you want a ride?"
"No," she says, "Allah will save me."
The rain falls faster still until the water is up to her neck. A third taxi cab comes by and the driver says, "Salaam, sister, do you want a ride?"
"No," she says, "Allah will save me."
Finally the rain falls until the water is above her head and she drowns. When she finds Allah once she is dead, she says, "What happened? Why didn't you save me??"
Allah said, "Well, lady...I kind of tried three times!"
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 11, 2008 - 3:43AM #4
RaindogY2k
Posts: 7
A Muslim couple is seated in a restaurant in the Detroit area.  In the booth next to them, a non-Muslim couple begins to talk, loudly.

“We’ve got to take a vacation, I need to get away from here”, the husband says, “there are too many Muslims here”!

“Where do you want to go”, the wife asks, and then adds, “how about London, I hear it’s lovely this time of year”.

“Are you crazy”, the husband bellows, “the place is crawling with Muslims”!!!

“Well, how about India”, the wife offers, “I’ve always wanted to see the Taj Mahal”!

“Ugh…..never”, the husband hisses in disgust, “nothing but Muslims there”!


The Muslim man in the next booth had tried to remain calm in the face of the bigotry but couldn’t help but defend the faith of his and his wife.  He stood up in his booth and peered over at other man.

“Why don’t you try going to hell”, he said sharply, “not very many Muslims there”!
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6 years ago  ::  Nov 05, 2008 - 9:49PM #5
llacey03
Posts: 2
I read a lot of Mulah Nasrudin jokes in the past, some were quite clever and very funny to me; just now I searched and so many were corny.

One that I recall and liked went like this;
Mullah Nasrudin went to a taylor to get his coat fixed.
The taylor told him " Your coat will be ready in three days , if Allah wills it!. Come back then"".   
Three days  later Nasruddin goes to get his coat but the taylor says he had been busy.
" Your coat will be ready in three days , if Allah wills it!.
Come back then""
This delay happens again.
Mullah Nasrudin says "How long will it take if we leave Allah out of this?"
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6 years ago  ::  Dec 10, 2008 - 8:47AM #6
shmuelgoldstein
Posts: 2,551
[QUOTE=BeliefnetSabee;400128][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2]After Friday prayers an Imam announced to the people:

"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

------------- [/QUOTE]

Now, *that* one is good.

And btw, it's pretty much ecumenical.
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3 years ago  ::  Nov 17, 2011 - 8:24AM #7
Idbc
Posts: 4,597

A preist runs into the Vatican, breathless he meets a bishop.


"I've got to see the Holy Father right away."


The bishop takes him to see the Pope. 


"What is it my son?" the Pope asks


"Holy Father, I've got some good news and I've got some bad news." 


The Pope asked  "What is the good news?"


The preist answers "I just got a phone call from Jesus!"


"What's the bad news?" asked the Pope


"It's from Mecca!"

HAVE A THINKING DAY MAY REASON GUIDE YOU
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3 years ago  ::  Dec 11, 2011 - 9:44AM #8
peacefulforum
Posts: 1

Nov 17, 2011 -- 8:24AM, Idbc wrote:


A preist runs into the Vatican, breathless he meets a bishop.


"I've got to see the Holy Father right away."


The bishop takes him to see the Pope. 


"What is it my son?" the Pope asks


"Holy Father, I've got some good news and I've got some bad news." 


The Pope asked  "What is the good news?"


The preist answers "I just got a phone call from Jesus!"


"What's the bad news?" asked the Pope


"It's from Mecca!"





I like it so much


thanks

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13 months ago  ::  Dec 28, 2013 - 3:45AM #9
Hatman
Posts: 9,634

A priest and an imam were in the habit of deep theological conversations.


One day, to lighten the mood a bit, the priest teased the imam, asking "Tell me the truth; have you ever tried any pork?"


The imam replied, "I will answer your question, but first, tell me if you've ever had sex with a woman."


The priest blushed, and confessed that he had.


The Imam replied, "Better than pork, ain't it!"

"History records that the moneychangers have used every form of abuse, deceit, intrigue, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
-- James Madison(1751-1836), Father of the Constitution for the USA, 4th US President
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