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Switch to Forum Live View Even When You Know . . .
4 years ago  ::  Aug 08, 2013 - 3:32AM #1
Gacogal
Posts: 1,527
. . . that they are at peace, resting, surrounded by nothing but love, how do we that are left behind face the losses in our lives? How do we find the strength to support one another as we grow older and smaller in numbers? How do we say good-bye after a family gathering when we're filled with the reality that we don't know who, or when the next will pass over?

My grandmother out-lived all of her siblings, 2 husbands, and 4 or her 5 children. I don't know how she got through it! I thought maybe I'd begin to grow, not cold, but kind of use to it. I thought I had with the passing of my brother 9 years ago. But no. Far from it. With the passing of another just 2 weeks ago, far from it. This is probably the toughest yet. I think it's because this one was "my strength". He's the one that got me through all the others. Both grandmothers, both parents, all of our aunts and uncles, and the first one of "us" to make the journey. But this time, this time I had to get him through it. I had to get him through his own. 

I'm so thankful God brought us to him just when needed. We hadn't expected it to be the end. We planned the trip to offer him support and strength to continue his fight. But God knew best. God planned our trip, through us, to give him support and strength to let go.

Now I worry about the last. He's so far away. He doesn't face death well and never has. He almost hides from it. And this time it was more obvious than ever before. He's always been a good hugger, but when we said good-bye this time, it was different. It was tighter. He filled my cheek with kisses. And he didn't say a word. Not a word.

I've got to find the resolve to get on the phone. I've got to check on everyone. I know God's with me, more than probably any other time in my life. But how do I find the strength to be the family pebble, now that our rock has journeyed home?
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23)
What you say flows from what is in your heart. (Luke 6:45b)
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