I'd like to thank everyone who replied, It really does help. I found myself crying the whole time I read all of the reply's.My sister inlaw has reached out to me and invited me to a greiving group at her church and have told her I would try it. And my mother has offered to pay for a trip to go up to Boston, which I'am excited about. I'm going to go in Oct when my 30th High School Reunion is. I did get rid of most of my husband's clothes and gave them to his son. There were some that I just haven't been able to part with yet.As far as all his photo's they will remain up. I have made a decision as far as if I'm gonna stay living here in the south after the new year, and I plan to move on. I will probably end up back up north so I can be near my mom. And where I do have some friend's still. I'am still taking baby step's but I'am looking forward. I do still feel so all alone but I will keep on.I just have to learn to love myself alot more. So thank you all again and I shall keep writing and giving follow up's on my well being. Have a Blessed Day All. Lisa
For some reason an old song comes to mind, "Jesus Walked That Lonesome Valley'. Also the phrase from Ps. 23 about walking in the valley of deepest darkness. Even though it might feel lonely wal;king through it, know that you are not alone; the one who walked this valley before you now walks through it with you. Peace be with you.
You are a unique, special individual, just like everyone else.
Just close your eyes for a moment and yield yourself to your Father above. Allow Him to hold you securely in His love. With Him, there is always a door that is open for you. He is constantly close even when you feel lonely and blue. When you bow in His presence, tell Him exactly how you feel. He will bring you peace,sweet peace. I know this a tough time but god's strength is made perfect in your weakness. One day the sun will shine again. I will keep you in my prayers daily as God continues to comfort you.
Hi Lisa, I'm just someone with the same common thread. I commend you on reaching out like you are, hope you keep doing that,as you can see "YOUR NOT ALONE" we can draw strength from one another.
What you do on Face book I understand,I do same on My space to honor my Sweetie. You mentioned " you feel like a burden to many, just talking about your Hubby" [I do the same] Might I sugg. you look at that as a witness to a beautiful marriage.
My Addy. is always open to any one with the same common thread, please don't hesitate touching base, just to vent. Stay Well, God Bless Paul
First, let me offer my concolenses for your loss. To lose a life partner after 23 years is a sad event; it must feel like a big part of your foundation has veen ripped out from underneath you. As others have mentioned, grief is niormal, and tears can be healing. It may not feel 'normal' but then these aren't normal corcumstances, either.
There's a lot of wisdom in the posts above. I would second what Tolerant Sis has written. Please do take care of yourself. You're worth it.
As others have mentioned, it'll take some time to work through it all. It's a hard road to travel and often a lonely road, but you aren't alone. Though it may noit feel like it right now, this time may actually be good. You may find reservoirs of strength, courage and ability you may never have known were in you.
i wish i knew the right words to say to you to help. i remember how often people didn't say or do the right things when i lost my husband eight years ago to suicide. we had spent 20 years together and had three children between the ages of 8 and 16 when he died. i have been consumed by grief and confusion for all these years. how do i survive everyday? i rest in god. god holds me and gives me strength for the journey. i also take time for myself to nurture myself through prayer, walks in nature, candlelight baths, read inspirational literature, etc. i try to treat my lost, broken self like a would a sad friend, with gentleness and kindness. sometimes i fall apart and feel like giving up, but i take care of myself until the spell is over.
although i, too, thought of my husband as my other half and loved him very much, our situation was more complicated than yours. we had been separated on and off for 3 years and were about to divorce. although he was a mental health therapist, he refused therapy for us or himself. much is shrouded in mystery and i don't understand everything that happened. i cope with the confusing emotions of guilt and hurt, but do keep the happy memories in my heart.
i have no advice for how to move forward because i seem to have trouble with imagining a future for myself. i live a mindful life in the moment, remembering to give thanks for the gifts of the day. i hope you more than survive, but are able to thrive. god bless you on your journey.
Lisa, take time to cry and morn your husband's loss. It is natural to feel an emptiness in your life. We are the ones who are in pain for our loved ones who have gone. They don't need our morning. We do. It is OK to morn.
Your husband is not dead as long as he is still in your heart and memory, and in the spirit of those who loved him. You can see him in every new-born child and every blooming flower. Some people believe that we return in physical form, while others say that it is only in spirit. Yet we always live again through the lives of those we have touched.
Visit a park. Walk beneath a tree. Summer is here, and there is beauty to be seen in the world.
You are only part way on your journey through life. You are still young and have time to meet new friends and rebuild your life. You can survive.
I'm 62 and a cancer survivor, yet I still feel younger than some people who were born long after I was. What is my secret? I go out of my way to appreciate the joy of life around me, and I take every effort to help those in need. In addition to working a full-time job, I lead religious services for inmates in state prisons. When I see these men and their broken lives, I can't help but think how abundantly lucky I am to have made a few better choices in life.
You don't have to do the same things I do. You need to find you own path and seek your own happiness.
Lisa, believe me, I feel you. You see, I am a widow too. My deceased husband taught me all I basically know about life. He was in my life for 30yrs. and sheltered me very much. His lingering was not more than a week before he passed. I was left with two left hands and a big hole in my heart. As much as I do not like to use the word "fear' this left me very frightened. It took me five years before I felt competent enough to make a big decision. Then, I realized that he was really not coming back and that I had the choice to either sink or swim. I began to distance myself as much as possible from the things that reminded me so much of him. The family pictures came off the wall. All of his pictures except historical certificates and medals were removed. This gave me some relief because it is a tormenting thing to long for something that you know will never be. I did not know how much attention I gave the family picture until it was removed and I found myself stareing at the wall and went through a brief shock that it wasn't there. My next step was to really get in contact with myself, to explore myself between me and God, the things I found out were mind boggleing. Much time was, and continues to be spent in prayer. God placed sincere folk in my life who were very instrumental in helping me gain strength. Simply because I wanted strength. They did not "pity" me, I am thankful because pity has a way of zapping strength. After twelve years, I remain single and have not entered into a relationship. My deceased husband left quiet an honorable record, but I learned that I cannot live off his record. My faith in God tells me that God is too wise to make a mistake,and too kind to be cruel. If He did not have a plan for me, He would not have left me. Please know that I am not trying to play your pain down, I have been there. Being single has its merits, but after being married so long, singleness initially was a culture shock for me. Even now, I am tempted and to cry, but the pain is not as strong as it has been. In every day and in every way I strive to be better and better. Just wanted to share that with you.
