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Switch to Forum Live View Loss of Grandmother
5 years ago  ::  Dec 03, 2009 - 6:08PM #1
chemjorn
Posts: 12

I was very close to my grandmother. I actually had lived in my grandmother's house for 3 years before she moved out to a condo, then a hospital, and then had mostly hospice care. My grandmother died in October. For a while, I felt able to cope with it but now her absence is very noticeable, since she had a very obvious presence. It may just be getting tougher during the holidays as my mom has said because this is the first year, but is there anything I can do?

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5 years ago  ::  Dec 05, 2009 - 1:49AM #2
Dreamweever2
Posts: 733

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I wanted to tell you that my kids just lost their grandfather a week ago. All three of them are very different, and each one is handling his death very differently as well. There are different stages to grief, and I think that what your mother said is very true too. The first holidays after losing a loved one are very difficult. For some people, it helps to talk about what they are feeling, and talk about memories of the person they lost. You might want to consider contacting a face to face grief support group as well. Another thing that might help is to keep posting or do some private writing if you are more comfortable with that.

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4 years ago  ::  Feb 25, 2011 - 11:47PM #3
delightinthestruggle
Posts: 1

I just lost my Grandmother this past week.  It is devastating.  She was such a bright spirit and such a presence throughout my life, and though I know she lived a very good life, it is hard to let her go.  She too went into hospice before passing.  Her funeral is in a couple of days and I am praying for strength to get through it.  You're not alone.  Grandparents can be incredibly special people, bringing deep wisdom from a different generation, giving unconditional love that parents can't give for whatever reason.  I am not close to the rest of my family, and my Grandmother was the one person who loved me no matter what, and stood up for me.  I know how great this loss can be.  I'll keep you in my prayers as you grieve. 

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4 years ago  ::  Feb 27, 2011 - 3:36AM #4
karbie
Posts: 3,329

I'm so sorry about losing your Grandmother. i know just how big a hole it makes in your life to lose someone who has loved you your whole life long. Here's something I want to say that may help--she isn't teally gone in the sense of loving you and looking over you. Death doesn't change that. When my first Grandpa died, he said good by eo me . i was standing in my upstairs hall when I was suddenly wrapped completely around in a head  to toe hug that I only felt from Grandpa. I got the call telling me that he had died 150 miles away about 10 minutes later. He showed me that who we are and whom we love is Eternal. It took away my fear of death, so it was a pretty special final gift.


One of my Grandma's was over 100 when she died. she had worried before she died that maybe the reason she'd lived so long and hurt so much was because she wasn't good enough for Heaven. Of anyone I've ever known, their wasn't any question about it to me. the next night she dreamed that she was at a giant party with all of her friends and loved ones who had died before her. After a time, she realized that there wasn't a room that large or with such magnificent colors. It could only happen in Heaven. Waking up in her worn-out body wasn't a big thrill. She died 3 days after having that dream. One of her favorite aides came in early to say good-bye to Grandma and tell Mother, my older sister and me that the process had started and she would be dying that day.


I guess it helped prepare us. She was icy cold that day. We discovered that she could hear us and could sqeeze our hands in response. We took turns telling her how much we loved her, and we all told her it was okay to let go now. About an hour after that, she did, very peacefully.


Don't go by the business absurdity that thinks 3 days is long enough to grieve someone who has been with you and for you your entire life. It takes as long as it takes. If you want to talk to her tell her you love her--she can still hear you. That love of yours still has a place to go to. She still watches over you. if anything her love is greater freed from pain and the other demands and indignities of the body.


i hope this helps.

"You are letting your opinion be colored by facts again."
'When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."
these are both from my father.
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