Important Announcement

See here for an important message regarding the community which has become a read-only site as of October 31.

 
Post Reply
Switch to Forum Live View Sometimes I hurt so much, I feel so guilty!
10 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 8:51AM #1
Melissa45
Posts: 2
I feel like some how the passing of my daughter Kaitlin is all my fault!! I can't stop going over everything about the  last day, like I can fix it, even though my Angel went home to God 6 months and 19 days ago, I still can't or won't accept it!!!! She wasn't even 16, although I guess she is now, her B-Day was November 14th, I just don't know how I can keep doing this. I can't live without Kaitlin, she was my life!!!!!! God help me, it hurts to much, I can't make it through Christmas without my girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Melissa45
Quick Reply
Cancel
10 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 2:52PM #2
Chiyo
Posts: 5,799

Melissa45 wrote:

I feel like some how the passing of my daughter Kaitlin is all my fault!! I can't stop going over everything about the last day, like I can fix it, even though my Angel went home to God 6 months and 19 days ago, I still can't or won't accept it!!!! She wasn't even 16, although I guess she is now, her B-Day was November 14th, I just don't know how I can keep doing this. I can't live without Kaitlin, she was my life!!!!!! God help me, it hurts to much, I can't make it through Christmas without my girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Melissa45



I understand what that kind of hurt is like, to lose someone you love most in the world and to feel cursed helplessness. There's nothing I can say. But I wanted you to know that I'm here and I'm listening and that I understand.

Quick Reply
Cancel
10 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 4:11PM #3
AngelFinds
Posts: 73
Melissa45:
Although I don't know what to say... I can't even imagine your amt of pain.... I will listen and pray for you.
Pls. come back to us... we are here.
Quick Reply
Cancel
10 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 7:19PM #4
sadmommy7
Posts: 3
[QUOTE=Melissa45;944761]I feel like some how the passing of my daughter Kaitlin is all my fault!! I can't stop going over everything about the  last day, like I can fix it, even though my Angel went home to God 6 months and 19 days ago, I still can't or won't accept it!!!! She wasn't even 16, although I guess she is now, her B-Day was November 14th, I just don't know how I can keep doing this. I can't live without Kaitlin, she was my life!!!!!! God help me, it hurts to much, I can't make it through Christmas without my girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Melissa45[/QUOTE]

Hi Melissa,
I certainly feel for you and think I know a little about how you might be feeling. 
I go over and over my grandbabys life all the time.  My daughters boyfriend smothered her to death at 18 months old. 
I keep thinking I could have done something.  It torments me to think of all that he did to my little grandbaby.

So please don't think I'd ever try to compare myself with you but I know the pain that death brings.  I know that there were days when I felt like I couldn't go on.    I will be praying for peace for you.  If you ever want someone to just listen please feel free to contact me.  I'm a really good listener.
Quick Reply
Cancel
10 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 7:26PM #5
sydneymoon
Posts: 3,681
Your loss is immense.
And it stinks.
Please stay around these boards. There are many who have suffered deep loss and will know your grief

Healing ((((Prayers))))) to you.
Margaret Mead: "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
Quick Reply
Cancel
10 years ago  ::  Dec 10, 2008 - 3:29PM #6
itty
Posts: 2,949
My healing prayers go out to all of you. I have never lost a child but I went for years feeling guilty I wasn't with my father the day he died. I felt I could have done something and stopped it. I know now, some thirty years after the fact that there was nothing I could have done. I won't tell any of you this will go away. It won't. I won't tell any of you that you will stop feeling guilty. I do feel that way from time to time today.

I will say that with time comes perspective. When the wound isn't so raw and bleeding then we each can look at what happened a little more objectively. It took me years to get it. I still have regrets I wasn't with my dad that day he died. I know I could not have stopped the accident that took his life. I regret not being there to hold his hand when he died.

My your God hold you in his hands. My your Gods healing and peace find you and soothe your soul. May your God bless you and keep you.

itty
Quick Reply
Cancel
10 years ago  ::  Dec 10, 2008 - 5:36PM #7
ItsAllALie
Posts: 4,421
Please seek grief counselling,,,,,or contact a grief support group for parents,,,what you're going through is possibly the most immense pain a person can ever feel,,,,,

you are NOT at fault,,,,,,but feelings of guilt are NORMAL,,,,,,very very NORMAL. Hugs,,,,,,,Holly
Quick Reply
Cancel
10 years ago  ::  Dec 10, 2008 - 5:36PM #8
ItsAllALie
Posts: 4,421
Please seek grief counselling,,,,,or contact a grief support group for parents,,,what you're going through is possibly the most immense pain a person can ever feel,,,,,

you are NOT at fault,,,,,,but feelings of guilt are NORMAL,,,,,,very very NORMAL. Hugs,,,,,,,Holly
Quick Reply
Cancel
10 years ago  ::  Dec 10, 2008 - 10:10PM #9
mainecaptain
Posts: 21,796
Melissa Please don't beat yourself up this way. Holly's advice was a good one please see a grief counsellor they can help really, help.
I lost my Mother a few years back we were very close, now I know it is not quite the same, but I had only her so yes she was my world.

It took a long time for me to get up on my feet again, but I did have hospice friend who was there and let me cry and vent  and eventually begin to heal. Your love will always be there. but the pain will dull down if you give it time. Please seek out the those who can really  help you get past the worst of your pain.

We are here for you
A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side. Aristotle
Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow. Plato..
"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives" Jackie Robinson
Quick Reply
Cancel
 
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing
    Advertisement

    Beliefnet On Facebook