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Switch to Forum Live View my 20 yr old son passed away
10 years ago  ::  Dec 01, 2008 - 7:42PM #1
ninfarr
Posts: 1
Need to talk. My son died suddenly by accident while living alone off campus in my second home in florida.

he dies when after a long trip he got home and closed garage and went into the house wothout shutting the car off. i spoke to him his last nite of life. he was happy and doing well. this happened sept 7 2008.

i live in new york and have had all his stuff sent home by friends. i must go back  to the house and honor him.

but i am nervous. was there only once to go down and claim the body ect...

i need to deal with this and my husband is worse than I and my 16 yrold girl i wouldn t dream of taking there unless she asks. she is doing better and i do not want a set back.

i need t o go to pick up the pieces and anything of my sons cause it belongs here in new york where he grew up.

i need advice.

nina
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10 years ago  ::  Dec 01, 2008 - 9:42PM #2
Chiyo
Posts: 5,799
Nina -

I'm sorry, I don't have any advice. But it seemed important just to let you know that I do care and that I am listening.

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10 years ago  ::  Dec 02, 2008 - 12:56AM #3
MichellesMom
Posts: 51
You can only do the best you can do.  Do NOT be hard on yourself.  It will be a long, hard road.  I know.  I lost my twenty-two year old daughter on July 5, 2006 (Michelle) and my life will never be the same.  There is a before and after me.  Whatever you feel, tears, anger, overwhelming sadness and tears is ok to feel.  All of us who have lost a child must travel this road although the road may be just a little different for each.  Please take care of yourself and know you are not alone.  Normally I post over on My daughter is gone.
Michelle's Mom
hilda
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10 years ago  ::  Dec 09, 2008 - 7:13PM #4
moirone
Posts: 1
Ninfarr...So sorry to hear of your son's awful accident.  I too...lost my son...19 year old on July 1, 2007 in a freaky accident.  He fell out of a tree into a lake and drowned.  I don't know what to tell you other than you need to take lots of time and let the feelings come..no one can tell us how to grieve or how to come thru it.  There is no pain like losing a child...none can come close.  As for advice..a very good site it The Compassionate Friends...they have chapters everywhere and really good things on their sites.  They are for only people who have lost a child. I have found it helpful.  Take care of yourself for your daughter...
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10 years ago  ::  Dec 10, 2008 - 3:35PM #5
itty
Posts: 2,949
You have my best wishes and my prayers. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Please accept my condolances.

My your Good keep you safe and shelter you in his hands. May he help you as you heal from this terrible wound.
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10 years ago  ::  Dec 10, 2008 - 4:39PM #6
ItsAllALie
Posts: 4,421

ninfarr wrote:

Need to talk. My son died suddenly by accident while living alone off campus in my second home in florida.

he dies when after a long trip he got home and closed garage and went into the house wothout shutting the car off. i spoke to him his last nite of life. he was happy and doing well. this happened sept 7 2008.

i live in new york and have had all his stuff sent home by friends. i must go back to the house and honor him.

but i am nervous. was there only once to go down and claim the body ect...

i need to deal with this and my husband is worse than I and my 16 yrold girl i wouldn t dream of taking there unless she asks. she is doing better and i do not want a set back.

i need t o go to pick up the pieces and anything of my sons cause it belongs here in new york where he grew up.

i need advice.

nina



Nina, I don't know if I have much advice for you,,,,,but my prayers are with you,,,,and if you need to talk you can email me through Bnet,,,,

Please try not to go alone,,,,,if your husband or daughter can't go, can you take a friend or a sister or brother???? Perhaps a priest, minister or rabbi could meet you at the house? Or be available to help you afterwards, if you are religious,,,,,

I'd also like to say that you honor your son by living,,,,by remembering him,,,he will always be with you,,,,,in your memories, in your daughter,,,,you will find ways to honor him with your daily life,,,small ways to remember him and keep him close,,,,

Blessings,,,,,Holly

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10 years ago  ::  Dec 10, 2008 - 4:39PM #7
ItsAllALie
Posts: 4,421

ninfarr wrote:

Need to talk. My son died suddenly by accident while living alone off campus in my second home in florida.

he dies when after a long trip he got home and closed garage and went into the house wothout shutting the car off. i spoke to him his last nite of life. he was happy and doing well. this happened sept 7 2008.

i live in new york and have had all his stuff sent home by friends. i must go back to the house and honor him.

but i am nervous. was there only once to go down and claim the body ect...

i need to deal with this and my husband is worse than I and my 16 yrold girl i wouldn t dream of taking there unless she asks. she is doing better and i do not want a set back.

i need t o go to pick up the pieces and anything of my sons cause it belongs here in new york where he grew up.

i need advice.

nina



Nina, I don't know if I have much advice for you,,,,,but my prayers are with you,,,,and if you need to talk you can email me through Bnet,,,,

Please try not to go alone,,,,,if your husband or daughter can't go, can you take a friend or a sister or brother???? Perhaps a priest, minister or rabbi could meet you at the house? Or be available to help you afterwards, if you are religious,,,,,

I'd also like to say that you honor your son by living,,,,by remembering him,,,he will always be with you,,,,,in your memories, in your daughter,,,,you will find ways to honor him with your daily life,,,small ways to remember him and keep him close,,,,

Blessings,,,,,Holly

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10 years ago  ::  Dec 10, 2008 - 9:59PM #8
mainecaptain
Posts: 21,796
ninfarr                     I don't know what to say, but I am so sorry for your loss, thinking of you.
A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side. Aristotle
Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow. Plato..
"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives" Jackie Robinson
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