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10 years ago  ::  Sep 24, 2008 - 5:10PM #1
Posts: 2
Some days I feel like I'm putting on a mask to cope with my mother dying. She has transversal mylitis and lupus.
I can't keep masking my pain. She is unaware of her  prognosis. Some days/nights are so bad, after I help, I
go out to the garage and cry uncontrollably. We do our best, my father who is 83 and I, have some home care etc.
But emotionally  I'm a I have a hard time, I'm bipolar too. Please respond with some help...Ideas on how to cope better. Thank You, Beverly C.(This is my first time on posting a thread??? not sure this is ok.... just learning.)
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10 years ago  ::  Sep 25, 2008 - 11:29AM #2
Posts: 19
Dear Beverly-

I am so sorry you are going through this.  I went through this with my Mother also.  I know how painful it is to see them deteriorate  and suffer right before your eyes.  there are some things I wish I would have done before she finally passed.  One was to talk to her more about dying and read to her about the afterlife.  When people finally accept that they are dying, it is hard for them to talk to the family because they want them to fight and tell them that they are going to be ok.  that is where palliative care can be very helpful to them.  Another thing I wish I would have done was record her voice.  Maybe her saying "hey sweetie, I love you."  I miss hearing my Mother say that.  You will get through this somehow, someway.  I look back and I am so thankful that I got to hold her hand and finally tell her it was ok to go.  I am so blessed to have been able to be in my Mother's life and be with her when she made her transition.  Feel free to email me @, if you wish.
But please, please please, be strong for you Mother and dont be afraid to talk to her when and if she realizes she is leaving this world.
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9 years ago  ::  Jun 02, 2009 - 2:44AM #3
Posts: 55

 Hi BeverlyAnn,

I am very sorry for the lost of your mom.

But think your father is very old and he needs you. So live your joyfully because your father want to see you happy.


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