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10 years ago  ::  Aug 21, 2008 - 6:10PM #1
falisjennifer44
Posts: 2
I recently lost my mom to pancreatic cancer and i have been extremely depressed. I promised her i would be like this, please help me to keeep my faith. Jennifer
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10 years ago  ::  Aug 21, 2008 - 6:12PM #2
falisjennifer44
Posts: 2
[QUOTE=falisjennifer44;707475]I recently lost my mom to pancreatic cancer and i have been extremely depressed. I promised her i would be like this, please help me to keeep my faith. Jennifer[/QUOTE]
please help me keep my promise to myself and my mom
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10 years ago  ::  Aug 22, 2008 - 9:33AM #3
RMJ
Posts: 12
Hi Jennifer,
You and your family are in my prayers.  My sincerest condolences on your loss.  I sure understand it, my Mom died in April after a long battle with emphysema.  I wonder if you meant to say that you "promised her you would not be like this", and not that you would? 
Grieving is normal, and it's healthy, and it's ok.  We've all heard about the 7 stages (I think it's 7), and being sad is part of that process.  There is no short cut for working through it- the key is to be kind to yourself while you heal.  Treat yourself like you would treat your friend if she lost her Mom.  Be kind to yourself, plan something each day that you enjoy, whether it's taking a hot bath, taking a walk in a favorite place, listening to a favorite radio show, eating a bowl of your favorite ice cream, whatever it is.  Plan it, anticipate it, and enjoy it.  Do the things that will keep you healthy physically, and the rest will follow as you're ready.  What I've learned is that I cannot let myself be isolated - it's when my depression is the worst.  I'm in hard times right now, and last week when we went to 2 different birthday parties, one Sat and one Sunday - I got so see friends, smile, and get a different perspective.  Allow yourself space, but not at the cost of becoming isolated.  And yes... it does get better.   I promise you.  Blessings and peace to you and your family.
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10 years ago  ::  Aug 23, 2008 - 5:48PM #4
puzzleman
Posts: 235
I will pray for you and your family as well. Pancreatic cancer killed my Mom in June and of all things she was a nurse (they make the worst patients). It still hurts when I think about it, but we still have the memories and the good times they are a part of our lives even though they are gone. My daughter acts so much like my Mom its scary. Hang on to the memories and the good that your Mom did in your life .
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10 years ago  ::  Aug 23, 2008 - 6:15PM #5
MarleneEmmett5
Posts: 1,799
[QUOTE=falisjennifer44;707475]I recently lost my mom to pancreatic cancer and i have been extremely depressed. I promised her i would be like this, please help me to keeep my faith. Jennifer[/QUOTE]
Failsjennifer44:
I'm sorry for the loss of your mother:
I lost mine a long time ago~it will be 34 years since she passed on September 29,1974.
Right before the Jewish HighHolidays~they're always "hard on me" I'm ususally very sad.
I know that you promised your mother that you "wouldn't be sad for her": am I correct in asking???
I was the same way~Except I was in "total shock for many years after her passing"

I can tell you this it will get better: the pain will subside as the years go by and you'll begin to see things clearer.
You've found friends here, if you want to "unload your feelings,you've come to the right place."
You can find many people who are "in your shoes".
Would you consider being my friend????~I'll be yours.
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