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Switch to Forum Live View After The Loss Of A Child
7 years ago  ::  Nov 14, 2007 - 8:34PM #31
kimekelly
Posts: 153
Pheebie,
Wood's thread is on the Coping with our Loss Daily Group thread~
I hope you can find it..
check out groups and if you are a member you just click on that.
I should got check it out myself.
Wood let our cat Ozzy in his doghouse :eek:
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 14, 2007 - 11:21PM #32
drawkcab
Posts: 314
Thirty two years ago, my mother went through what you are going through now. Linda was killed by unknown assalents while trying to help some one, they both died. She was 28 years old, 1 year, 8 months younger than me, her big brother. She was killed on easter morning 1968. for years I felt that God had taken her for some good reason, but didn't learn until about 12 years ago. perhaps this will help you;  Isaiah 57:1,2; The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come. He shall enter into peace: they shall rest in their beds, each one walking in his uprightness.
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 14, 2007 - 11:29PM #33
drawkcab
Posts: 314
[QUOTE=chauncey'sma;2274]My son was killed on May 10, 2007, and I feel as if I'm losing my mind.  I miss him so much and hurts soooo bad.  I constantly think about him and all that he won't get to do, everything reminds me of him and as stupid as this sounds I want my baby back.  I am so confused with God, I'm even angry at God and probably more than half of this world and the people in it.  I use to be a very active church member, but since my son was killed I wonder if there is a God and if so why did he not save my son, but he continues to let these other no-good, robbers, stealers and killers live. My Chauncey was the greatest, he was the best kid any Mom could have. I also have an eight year old daughter who misses her brother so much that it hurts my heart even more.   She adored her brother and would get so excited when it was time for him to come home from college for the summers.  I am a mess I've recently returned to work, which is great but I am struggling when it comes to worshipping God and even praying.  I don't even know what to pray for now.  Chauncey birthday is November 9, which will be here soon, I am so afraid.  What am I to do for Christmas? Chauncey would always come home for christmas. I am tired of being so sad, and I wonder if I will ever be happy again.[/QUOTE]

Thirty two years ago, my mother went through what you are going through now. Linda was killed by unknown assalents while trying to help some one, they both died. She was 28 years old, 1 year, 8 months younger than me, her big brother. She was killed on easter morning 1968. for years I felt that God had taken her for some good reason, but didn't learn until about 12 years ago. perhaps this will help you; Isaiah 57:1,2; The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come. He shall enter into peace: they shall rest in their beds, each one walking in his uprightness.
drawkcab
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 15, 2007 - 9:16AM #34
amigadedios
Posts: 10
good morning everyone, i just wanted to say how thankful i am to be able to have a place to vent my feelings. i read all the posts and somehow my pain lessens. i have a book "safepassage" just daily meditions by molly fumia, here's something i read today"Grief is about unfinished business. All that still aches to be done, said or felt together. The possibilities that will never be realized must now be surrendered,but our unfinished connection will quietly accompany the remainder of my own journey".I hope this posts. I think my faith is coming back again, i feel my angels with me today, maybe because i had a beautiful dream of my daughter stephi, she looked wonderful and told me she was okay. finally after 7 weeks i heard her voice again. love to all of you
chacha
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 15, 2007 - 11:20AM #35
chauncey'sma
Posts: 32
Heys guys

Can you believe that I just today, found you guys, I have been visiting the site since early October and I kept wondering why I had gotten any responses, so I began to write in my own journal, there is so much in my journal, Is there any way that I can move the things from my journal to this thread.  Someone please advise me on this, my God I'm having a hard time accessing this website, but maybe now I've got it.  I want to thank you all for your words of kindness and wisdom, even though I just read them they still meant so much to me.  And yes I have joined some counseling groups, I recently became a member of Compassionate Friends and I really enjoy this group.  My daughter and Husband have also started counseling.  I miss my son sooo much but I must say that I am healing, by that I mean I'm back to work,  I haven't gotten back to Churhc yet, but I'm thinking about going this Sunday, even though I'm still confused at God and somewhat angry, but my Pastor called me last week and asked when I would be back.  Chauncey's b-day was November 9, and I was a total wreck all week, just dreading the day but suprisingly the day was a good day.  I went to the cemetary and Lord and Behold there were about 35 of his friends there, this really touched my heart and saddened it at the same time.  The college that he attended called and they are going to have a special ceremony just for Chauncey on November 29, they are also going to present me with his diploma.  I'm starting to feel ... I don't know what I'm feeling.. I have a lot of emotions going on.  But I will be there....
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 15, 2007 - 3:47PM #36
mary38
Posts: 31
hi kim i cant get back on to coping with our lost it is off the group home page. how do i get back on it?
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 20, 2007 - 1:00PM #37
jadwns
Posts: 3
I'm not sure how I found this link but I hope I can find my way back here.
Chaucey'sma,  my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your loss.  I loss my son, Brad, 21, his wife Samantha,19, and a young man, Chris 24, who I loved as a son, Oct. 6, 2007 to the supidity of a drunk driver. That date will forever be branded in my mind. This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I never knew this kind of pain existed.  I don't understand why God allowed this and If he were to materialize in front of me to explain, I still would not understand.  I do know that he understands the pain we are feeling because he went through this with his son. It's not stupid to want your child back. I say that a dozen times a day.  That is all I want. I WANT MY BABY. I don't want to live in this world without him but I do not have a choice. I have to stay here because I do not want my mother to feel the pain that I am feeling and I do not want my husband or daughter to grieve my loss. So, I'm here making the best of what is left.... As sad as it is your daughter will hurt for the loss of her brother.  My daughter, Cindy, 24. is mentally challenged and I question how  much she understands. At the visitation for my son, she stood by his coffin rubbing his forehead saying "Brad's asleep, Brad's with Jesus."  I have seen her pick up his picture and kiss it. I do believe she knows he is gone but she lacks the ability to totally understand.  She asks me several times a day ."Mom, where's Brad?" "Mom where's Sam?" "Mom where's Chris?" I tell her that they are gone. They are asleep with Jesus' arms wrapped around them.. I don't know how to make her understand but maybe she is the lucky one...
Just keep coming here and posting. The people here are wonderful. Jules, Cathy, Eileen are a few that have comforted me with their words. I respect and admire their strength.  God has blessed me with people who understand my pain and do not judge me because I am having a difficult time. Take Baby steps even in your prayer life. God is there and he loves you.
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 21, 2007 - 12:18AM #38
eaglenest61
Posts: 10
Hello everyone. This my first post on this new thread. I'm not very pute savy, but I figured if my wife can do it...i can.  Julie is my wife. We lost Brad, my son, his wife Sam, and Chris, my son in my heart.  I never have gotten "angry" with God.  I don't understand why He allowed this to happen, but I can not bring myself to question His actions.  God has always taken care of me and being simple minded, I have never questioned His actions...  I miss my children...more than life itself... I can only pray that my actions will bring honor and praise to our Father.  I will pray for you all if you will pray for my wife and I...the pain is real...almost more than I can bear.... so please lift us up as we lift you... thanks.
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 27, 2007 - 9:34AM #39
antpat24
Posts: 8
Cathy     I guess I am here and hope you get this message.  I have lost my best friend, she was 69 yrs. young, in hospital to be discharged the day she died, very suddenly and a shock to all.  I miss her, and we had been friends for 37 years, rode to work togeather ( she did not drive) every day for 9 years.  Shared so much, I watched her sons, raised by a single mom, grow into wonderful adults.  Also fond a wonderful web site, In memory of.com, to build a sitee for our loved ones.   Hope you get this             Antie  Pat
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 27, 2007 - 1:21PM #40
Pheebie
Posts: 18
Hi, everyone---I've just now been able to find my way back to the site.  Been looking for a while and busy with Thanksgiving etc. 

I lost my oldest son, Devin, in 1985 to suicide and several losses of family members followed.  To say the least, the next 2 years were pure hell and I went a little crazy. 

I should have gone to councelling but since I live so far out in the country, I chose to write in my journal.  That was my psychiatrist, and it worked, but might have taken shorter time to find my SELF if I had had a wise counselor (not all of them are).

I am at last at peace with my losses and don't blame God for anything.  My belief system includes reincarnation and Karma which helps me understand many "unjust" happenings.  LIFE is good today and I know that I am a beloved child of the UNIVERSE and I am LOVED with an EVERLASTING LOVE, just as we ALL are.  LOVE-LIGHT :>)
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