(((Soph)))

I am sorry about your mom.  Some people have been taught for a long time that being gay is a lifestyle choice.  Brainwashed, kind of.  So she might be feeling like she messed up somehow parenting you. She is also having to reimagine your/her future.  It is no longer going the way she planned.  In a way, her plans for you finding a girl and getting married and having kids just died. So she is grieving.

Some people get over this and start creating a new relationship and future.  Others have more trouble.  If there are other parents who could talk to her, or a gay supportive pastor, that might help. if you leave some PFLAG stuff laying around, she might ignore them at first but might sneak a peak later.

Remember, you have had more time to get used to this idea than she has.  Give her time, but keep yourself safe!  Being gay is a normal variation. Don't give up on yourself!

this is tough-and parents may react this way over many things.  My wife's parents disowned her for dating me, because i was Buddhist.  That was 8 years ago and they've never changed... but she has  alot for the positive.   While she was only 20, she was very immature at the time.

It's true, because you're gay, you're not "normal" - but only in the statistical sense, you are in the minority.  Past that, you could not qualify as "abnormal" in any other way-including likely the way she meant, which was more like 'wrong' I imagine.  And it's terrible what she said about not wanting you to be born-bigotry is an awful thing that destroys relationships.

I hope she wakes up to reality-that there is nothing wrong about you.  But it is just as likely that she'll never accept you.  All I can say is:  You've been given an opportunity to accept a truth of life:   You can only rely on yourself, and your view of you is the only one that matters.  Forget trying to help her come to reality-I suggest you find other gay men who have dealt with this and speak with them, I think you need support and if she cares, she'll figure it out.

don't ever compromise who you are-for anyone nor their delusions... or in this case, likely her IMAGE for pete's sake!