Sep 19, 2011 -- 8:37PM, StoryMing wrote:

Not quite sure what forum this should go under, this one seems to come closest...

I have loved musical theater and performance since highschool. I was in a local production a while ago where I somehow ended up falling- unexpectedly, and hard- for a fellow cast-mate. And, I could be wrong, but my sense is that he was attracted to me as well. The guy is not available (he's married), so a relationship is not an option. Okay, so technically "nothing" happened- he never once did anything inappropriate or out of line- but it got pretty silly: I think there was more energy going into ignoring/ avoiding each other than into the actual performance! 

Now, this raises some questions for me. I don't want to have to leave the group, but I can't stay if I cannot work with one of its members. If this is not "resolved", I am going to lose them. I can go elsewhere, of course, but then there's no guarantee that the same thing won't happen again. When half the roles out there or more involve onstage romance in some form or other, how to remain involved in theater at all without stepping on an emotional land mine? It would seem that this is, as someone from another site put it, a common occupational hazard, but none of the books or classes on acting that I know of addresses it. 

Currently my plan is to take a step back, sit out a season or two, and then see where things are. It's been a half a year, and I am still trying to figure out what hit me.

I suppose it is somewhat natural to occasionally develop feelings when you are so deeply immersed in your character and having someone act like they love you. But it is probably just an act most of the time. May I ask, how is your love life? Are you open to starting a relationship with someone in your acting troupe? If you are not then you need to look for love elsewhere. I get the feeling that you would rather keep your love life out of the theatre but you end up looking for it there anyways. I think if you were in a fiery relationship that you were completely happy in you wouldn't be thinking about this at all while you are onstage.

Hi Fae and mainecaptain! Thanks for your input and advice.

You are right, my love life is pretty much nil just now, sad to say. No, I am not necessarily against a theater romance; but it *is* very important to me that he share my faith, and I have met very few individuals who bridge the divide between the "believer" camp and the "creative arts" contingent. Also I am decidedly closed to starting a relationship with someone who is already in one.

Have been attempting to recategorize the relationship as you mentioned, but I suspect it may take some time for the feelings to catch up with the mind.

Sep 20, 2011 -- 8:56PM, StoryMing wrote:

Hi Fae and mainecaptain! Thanks for your input and advice.

You are right, my love life is pretty much nil just now, sad to say. No, I am not necessarily against a theater romance; but it *is* very important to me that he share my faith, and I have met very few individuals who bridge the divide between the "believer" camp and the "creative arts" contingent. Also I am decidedly closed to starting a relationship with someone who is already in one.

Have been attempting to recategorize the relationship as you mentioned, but I suspect it may take some time for the feelings to catch up with the mind.

You are most welcome. I hope it works out for in a good, happy, healthy, way.

Interesting ,as you say, that there is no advice on these feelings in acting classes or text. I would seen given the behavior of a great many professional actors, it is advice that is sorely needed.