Apr 20, 2009 -- 1:11PM, Drdeb wrote:

I think Christianity offers many lessons about our sexuality somehow being sinful. "Lust," for example, is one of the seven deadly sins and people who have sex outside of a marital union are basically condemning themselves.

On the other hand, Christian mystics offer a different point of view. In Teachings of the Christian Mystics, Matthew Fox wrote, "All lovemaking (as distinct from 'having sex') is Christ meeting Christ. Love beds are altars. People are temples encountering temples."

This perspective aligns more closely to what I read in Buddhist, Hindu, Indigenous, Jewish, Muslim, New Age, Pagan, and Taoist texts related to spirituality, particularly from a mystical standpoint. Sex itself is neither good nor bad, but if two people approach sexuality with LOVE, then it can be viewed as sacred. 

I wrote a full article about this here: Your Sacred Sexuality.

What do you think? 

The 7 deadly sins is a Catholic list.  These should not be confused with the Catholic teaching on mortal sins.  The 7 deadly sins are basically those things within the heart that motivate acts of sin.  They have opposing virtues and it is acknowledge that there is a battle in the human heart between virtue and vice. 

Lust is defined as the "the disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure."  It is not saying that enjoyment of sexual pleasure is bad, or that the desire for sex is bad.  It is defining lust as the disordered parts of our desire.  The general principle is that all sin opposes Christian charity.  Christian charity has a heavy focus on the dignity and value of the human person.  A person is never to be used as a means to an end.  The person is always more valuable than the pleasure, and thus lust basically the motivation to use sexuality in a way that negates the esteeme we should have for ourselves and for other people.

The opposing virtue is chastity which is defined as:  "successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality, in which man's belonging to the bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman.  The virtue of chastity therefore involves the integrity of the person and the integrality of the gift."

In other words, the chaste person abstains from sexual acts prior to marriage as an act of sincere expression of the spiritual reality:  that they are not in a lifelong relationship involving the complete mutual gift of self to the other person. 

Ultimately God's will is that we be loved unconditionally.  We're not supposed to give our hearts away only to have them broken.  God intends for us to make the conscious decision to first love completely and unconditionally (this commitment being marriage) before we give ourselves to the other person.  This can lead a person to questioning what the gift of self is.  Is it merely giving yourself physically or is there more to chastity than physical behavior?

The condemnation Christ gives of divorce is a yes to authentic love, recognizing that love is more of a virtue, an act of the will, than it is an emotion.  Certainly being in a relationship creates a bond of love between two people, but the success of that relationship -- whether that relationship is loving or not-- is based on our personal choices in behavior and how we treat the other.  Where do we fail to love them? Do we have arguments based on selfishness, demanding things of each other that are not about giving yourself, but about taking something or using the other person.  It could be using the other person to build your self esteem, constantly demanding they praise you and overaffirm their love for you.  It can be demanding of them too much sexually or denying things sexually in a marriage for selfish reasons as well.  It can be putting career ambitions ahead of your relationship. 

Relationships break down when people use each other rather than love each other.  And the thing about the spark that often first brings two people together, is that it is based on selfishness - during the honeymoon phase of your relationship, you are rewarded for loving the person.   As such its easier.  Its not that this phase is bad, but rather that the love is imperfect and immature.  Christ challenges married individuals to a greater love.  And in doing so, he challenges people to not settle for a lesser love and commitment. 

Ultimately waiting for marriage is about waiting for a truer love.  Its not about waiting to be in love and on cloud nine.  Its about waiting for a marital love, for conjugal love.

So the teachings are about sex being sacred.  Sin is only that which profanes the sacred.